Transformers: Legacy Road Hauler is Something That Exists

 

Hauler’s brief G1 cartoon appearance

Like most people in England, I took a chance on a Black Friday sale in 2022. I was fully aware, and in support of, the Royal Mail strikes, and striking in general. So, I accepted a lengthy delay out of solidarity. What I did not account for was the habits of the online retailer Zavvi, which based on the experiences of myself and others, seems to only want to dispatch items after you ask what’s going on. If at all. Eventually, I received today's subject: The Velocitron Speedia 500 Collection Road Hauler. Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a bit of a trip.

The 2003 eHobby RoadHauler toy

Road Hauler is something that could only really exist when you have the combination of diehard fans and a shoddy production. An orange Autobot crane, he appeared for one brief scene in episode 1, getting name-dropped, but no lines. That sentence took about as long to write as it does to watch that scene. Now, if you have any familiarity with the Sunbow cartoon, you might be going "Orange Crane, do you mean Grapple? AKA the Inferno retool?“. And the answer is no, he came out the year after, and there is some speculation that" Hauler' was a victim of a last minute case change and eventually became Grapple. Much later on, eHobby decided to revisit the name for one of their exclusives, as it is/was common for the various crowd fillers and generics of the cartoon to be given names and profiles after the fact. See my article on Hotlink for another example. Hauler, of course, used the Grapple mould, but as the orange crane slot was now filled, a colour change was needed. So they did him in green, and tied him to the Constructicons. Doing a construction vehicle in green is up there with seeker repaints in the easy money category, and the only real limit on this is the availability of suitable alt modes. Hauler goes for a different shade of green than the Constructicons usually have, and more black instead of purple, but the influence is there. When it comes to the bigger picture, Hauler is very much akin to Burn Out, having very few fictional appearances and even fewer toys. So, having him turn up in the Speedia 500 sub-line was probably a good call, even if it was kinda weird to have a crane truck in a race. He's never had anything approximating a mass market toy before, and it's not like he's a Ramjet situation, where a popular character largely vanishes in distribution. 

 

So, here's the thing: I did not expect to like this toy as much as I actually do. I ordered this half because I hadn't tried the mould, and half as a goof. But it is also an unexpected fave. We'll come to the "goof" aspect shortly, but let's start with the crane mode. This is the first Transformer I've had in a while that makes a compelling case for its own alternative form. What do I mean by that? Well, it's about there being a legitimately different experience in both modes, and thus a compelling reason to keep in a mode other than robot. Robot modes since Siege have been pretty damn good, but often there is not the same level of rigour being applied to the other modes. With cars and jets, it's often a matter of compressing the toy down, pegging the guns on, and making your own sound effects. So, Hauler here has a moving and collapsing crane arm, and that opens up a few possibilities. He's also got a claw attachment for it, which has an airlock clip in the centre, so he can lift bits of modulator. This is a lot of uncomplicated fun, and it's the kind of thing simply omitted from recent toys, at least in the Generations sphere. There's no shortage of 5mm ports or weapon storage either so functionally, this is very complete. Visually, its certainly not bad either. The green and hazard stripes work well, and touches like painted hubcaps and transparent windows are nice. There"s a couple of oddities though, like the big bar on the cab that's painted, and the way the front tires spin, but the hubcaps are fixed. It's also fair to say the fidelity to the original Diaclone mould produces some flaws. It's pretty obviously a set of robot arms on the back, and maybe something could have filled that gap between, but the overall effect works. 

 

The transformation is similarly based on the Diaclone mould but with more modern touches. It's also fixed. The original version of this toy, Earth Grapple, had a major problem with the foot pegs breaking, something that put me off, although subsequent releases fixed that. Now, we have much to talk about here, but let me cut to the chase, and share with you the reason that I rolled the dice on this guy. Yes, that head sculpt. 

 

I don't know what possessed them to do this, but it's not often you get a Transformer that seems to shouting the word "fuck" at the top of his lungs. I know it's juvenile, but I find this to be hysterical. More generally, we might imagine this as roaring or screaming-as-you-fire-on-automatic sorta face, and there is a 3rd party kit that gives him a cigar, so there's that. Moving on, we come to a slightly less successful, but still rather fun robot form. With respects to the visuals, the flaw of this mould is quite apparent, he is very hollow. Whereas Legacy Bulkhead had an unflattering hollow chest which served his transformation, every extremity on Hauler here has exposed cavities that really don't need to be there. It's not great, and I can't deny that is a probable deal-breaker for some, but it doesn't bother me that much in person. Possibly because its everywhere, rather than a singularly obvious cut corner. Otherwise, Hauler is a fairly blocky dude, that doesn't really bring new out new colours for robot mode, and who seems rather upset about something.

 

While not as unexpectedly compelling as crane mode, the robot mode does bring something to the table rather nice to go with Siege Standard joints and ports. It offers a simulacrum, read a book, of the Diaclone fist-launching, where the hands or missiles could be fired from the wrists. This was the inspiration for Inferno and such having a tool/gun arm in the cartoon, and possibly several others now that I think of it. Hauler doesn't fire his fist off, spring-loaded missiles don't seem to be a thing in Transformers any more, but he does retain the option to fold his hands away and plug something into the 5mm port that results. So you can plug in that grabber bit in one arm, and the pointy thing in the other. Or, indeed Combiner Wars era hand/foot guns. It's joyful, it really is. 

 

My point? Only that Legacy Road Hauler is something that exists. And he's fun.