Plamo: Orks Runtherd and Gretchin

 

I didn't have a great time in early January. I'd survived December, but I was struggling with respect to life goals and various petty annoyances. Then I got a head cold. Yay. So, a new project was needed, and thus today's article.

Anyway, I'd been meaning to pick up some more grots for a while.  It's not because they are especially good, or even competent, it's because they can do the boring objective holding stuff, while generating Command Points, and generally being a nuisance to remove. Gretchin die to almost any attention, but die so quickly any attack feels like a waste of bullets. Also good for screening and movement-blocking purposes. There's definitely diminishing returns with these little blighters, but they do tend to create dilemmas.

Dating from 2009, this kit is probably the realistic plateau for plastic grots. These are mostly fixed pose models, although many have alternate heads, with a random assortment of weapons. There is just enough flexibility to prevent them from getting boring, and there is compatibility with Ork kits of the same generation, something I used for the Runtherd. While obviously smaller than most, these go together with minimal fuss, and generally hit the goldilocks zone. It's also arguably a budget release, offering significantly more points per pound than either of the two Ork Boy kits, although that's approximately £1.45 a model in real terms. I do hope that GW doesn't get it into their heads replace this with something needlessly complicated and/or extravagant.

I didn't do anything fancy with these, merely experimenting with fabric colouring and some highlighting. I did find some of the details a touch soft, so maybe a few of these guys have trousers where there were no trousers before. Getting into the right headspace was in some respects more difficult than the actual painting. I don't think I'm actually getting better, but I am becoming more efficient with what I do, something I felt with my more recent Guard units.

I probably need to find something more interesting to do, but these are OK for now.

Transformers: Collaborative Bone Shaker is Something That Exists

And I keep wanting to call him Bonecrusher…

Maybe its just my mood, or maybe its the creative choices, I’ve found Transformers to be somewhat bland of late. I am a TFN regular of course, but I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that that Age of the Primes was a damp squib. That said, there is an unexpected patch of creativity, found in the extremely inconsistent Collaborative line. Here we see Hasbro working with Mattel to make transforming versions of Hot Wheels cars, as well as Hot Wheels versions of Transformers. And if Bone Shaker here is any indication of how this partnership is gonna play out on the robot side, I might try some optimism. This is a breath of fresh air that I grew to like more and more as I wrote this.

Bone Shaker is based off the diecast car of the same name, which I have previously used for a Gaslands project. It's one of various fictional cars Mattel releases, a sort of 1950/60's rat rod, with a skull and flame motif. That obviously lines up with my tastes pretty well, and makes for a quite distinctive altmode. Black, silver and flame is an inherently cool deco for a car like this, and we haven't really seen its like in Transformers since the Laser Rods of Generation 2. I had two thoughts battling inside my brain when I first picked this up off the shelf, and held it in hand. The first thought was this was kinda small. Yes, inflation is a thing, tariffs are a thing also, and crossovers tend to have a premium surcharge applied. But it felt like there wasn't a huge amount of toy there. On closer inspection however, the car mode it comes in, is but a gnat's wing away from ideal. There's pinned wheels that roll well. A lot of paint, not everywhere, but in the places Hasbro normally skips. There's interior detail, with the seats visible, much like the diecast toy. And there is that glorious skull and exhaust combo upfront. It looks great, perhaps not Alternators great, but nothing to apologise for. Clearly the license agreement mandated this level of fidelity, and they succeeded. It's also notable for what isn't here. Bone Shaker is not built in line with the Siege 5mm port system, no doubt helping the look. This hurts the play value, but I'm not missing it here. He does however have storage for his weapon accessory, a comically big gear stick that plugs in between the seats. This goes unmentioned in the instructions, looks rather daft, but is the only real weakness of the altmode, and it's entirely optional. I mean, if I'm not nitpicking that, I'm gonna have to complain about robot bits on the underside, and who cares? The wiki even suggests its a Rat Fink thing. Its a highly individual car form executed very well and I can't imagine Hot Wheel fans taking any issue either.

 

With the robot form, and the conversion to achieve it, complaints become less subjective. Bone Shaker functions like a lot of carformers in that the front end becomes the upper body, and the back becomes the legs, but the shape of the car presents its own challenges. The chest is dominated by the skull, because failure to do so is probably super robot malpractice, forcing a bunch of panels into the lower legs. As a result, Bone Shaker lacks actual feet. Ankle tilts are present, but these are attached to the car seats and otherwise concealed. This is deeply odd, and combined with various quirks and kibble, will be a deal-breaker for some. The shoulders and feet have been a point of discussion. That said, it's not often these days that I feel the transformation prompts actual discussion. There is a trend these days for the altmode to be a secondary concern, versus articulation and screen accuracy. There's often no flair, and lot of reused engineering. That's not the case here; the conversion scheme is to the best of my knowledge new and interesting. So, yes, I like that they put the car first, this is a welcome change of pace. 

Obviously, as a completely new thing, screen accuracy in robot mode is a total non-issue too. Bone Shaker is not bound by fan expectations, or the silly desire to match cartoons from the 80's. Well, the car mode might be, but I've talked about that already. That leaves us with the basic matters of visuals, posability and play value of that robot form. On the visuals front, Bone Shaker clearly favours his altmode a touch, but there's a lot of character. It's hard to lack character when you have a skull for a chest, shoulder wheels, and a gearstick to beat people with. More gray and orange comes into play, and there is a very nice headsculpt up top, with a mouthplate and exhaust ears. As a whole it works; it's definitely my kind of metal, although given the altmode, perhaps this is more of a greaser? Like Fonzie? Yes, there is kibble and quirky proportions, but from such imperfections comes more character. Articulation meanwhile is decent, but not quite ideal. Wrist swivels would have made a lot of difference, but otherwise it's post-Siege standard. However Siege style 5mm ports are, like the altmode, conspicuous by their absence. I don’t buy many beastformers or Studio Series toys, so maybe that’s just me, but I was honestly surprised. This means we're just working with the fundamentals, but Bone Shaker has good fundamentals, and a presence. A good robot mode overall, which, despite the weird feet, compares well with the car mode.

Now, I want to note one concern, before I end this article on a positive note: I'm not entirely sure why this costs 20% more than a contemporary deluxe. I have cynical suspicions, also excuses, but not certainty. Its perhaps just the paint, and the license. However, Bone Shaker does make a good go at earning that premium. It is, frankly, refreshing to see a Transformer designed this way. It puts the car first, with a clean sheet design, and not learning so heavily on nostalgia of the Transformers nature, while also doing right by the robot form. Yes, 5mm port functions are gone, but I no longer care. Bone Shaker does little wrong, a lot right, and I would love it if Generations as a whole took this path. I mean, just look at it. We do want interesting things in Transformers, right? Do I actually have to explain the concept of awesome, as it pertains to this toy? Yes, its a crossover toy, and benefiting from crossover appeal. But cool car, and cool robot, equals good toy. And what flaws it has, are at least interesting. More please.

 

3D Print: The Lancer Battle Tank by Culverin Models

Here’s a project that just didn’t quite come together.

One happy bit of news amongst the constant <waves arm vaguely at the world at large> is that Culverin Models has returned to trading. You may remember them? Lots of dieselpunk vehicles and such for 28mm games. Seemingly made completely in-house, with a clear house style, rather than merely a 3D printing outfit? Never the best technically, but always having a good mix of cheap and cheerful. So when they came back and had a sale in the run up to Christmas, I impulsively opted for their new Lancer. The Lancer is a tank with roughly the same footprint as a Hydra, with a very strong inter-war vibe. While I picked it up for use as a Leman Russ proxy, and the turret guns are very russy, it needed some weapon swaps to be one.  And for the most part, it's pretty good, but it didn’t go smoothly.

So here's what happened; I noticed the drive wheels were a touch misshapen and this caught me on a bad day. Not in any immediately obvious, or ask for a refund kinda way, but in an Autism-triggering cannot-be-unseen kinda way.  So I tried to fix it. What I ended up doing was filling the gap  between wheel and hull, obscuring the area with bits, thus concealing the imperfections. But I may have made it less good in the process, and I did consider shelving this project. Then I realised/remembered that none of my 3D print projects ever went smoothly, and that picking such a thing for relaxation in December was probably not the best idea.  

Anyway, I'd planned to modify this into something approximate to a Leman Russ Vanquisher, yes I am something of a hypocrite, and this would mean the mounting of a kitbashed HK missile, lascannon and heavy stubber somewhere. I'm not happy with either, especially the HK, which I had to move, although the coaxial lascannon works OK. The two mini-turrets, the elements that had drawn me to this, were initially gonna be plasma cannons, but I decided against it, at least for now. Two entirely serviceable flamethrowers were included, and glue wasn't mandatory, so I took the path of least resistance. I can add different weapons later if I wish, and 11th Ed is supposedly happening next Summer… TBH my heart wasn't in this.

I think as a gaming piece this is OK, but its not my best work. But it happens I suppose. And people on the interwebs seem to like it too, so maybe I'm being too hard on myself.

Gaming: Cultic (PC, Steam)

Something I enjoy learning about, enjoying playing, but I am not much good at, is first person shooters. While I do better at specific examples or broad types than others, these are quick reaction games that I struggle with. The difference is often if the game is balanced for mouse aiming or not. That is a powerfully precise form of control, but I don't like the keyboard requirements that come with it. It works, but it doesn't feel intuitive. On the other hand, console shooters have spent decades balancing for dual analogue sticks, which also works, but brings it's own issues because it's inherently slower and less accurate. Both approaches are valid, but I will admit to preferring games where I don't have to aim, or I can play things slow and tactical. Cultic is a game that wants you to aim really FUCKING quickly and be tactical. It kicked my arse a lot  to begin with. And throughout. And it wants you to use mouse & keyboard. But I kinda love it.

 

Let me step back a bit. Cultic is a retro style shooter made by one person, plus a few helpers around the edges, and sold for a budget price on Steam. It has a very distinctive art style, a purposefully grainy look with a mix of digitised photos, pre-rendered sprites, and voxels. This is used to depict a sort of 1960's cosmic horror type affair, out in Nowhere, USA, fighting cultists and worse. The levels are large and intricate, aiming for believable locations with secrets to find. The obvious comparison to draw here is 1997’s Blood, with has many of the same themes, but there's lots of survival horror in there too, like Resident Evil 4 or so. The atmosphere is consistently dark and oppressive; the game doesn't really do jokes like those two, your character starting in a mass grave and things not really improving. While purposefully ugly, Cultic"s art style is clearly achieving what it set out to do, and most importantly, it's always intelligible. You will know what's shooting at you, you will know when something is dead, and with a recently added map function, you won't get lost either. Cultic, beneath the grime, is very refined. This refinement  is most obvious in the combat and the weapons you use in it. Your weapons are powerful, but in a 1960's way, and the cultists have them too. Enemies aren't that bright, but they can certainly kill you quickly. The game wants you to headshot things. Several guns are great at it, and the game often triggers bullet time if you do. It's awesome. Do it right, and you can wipe out a mob before you need to reload, taking out problem targets with badass precision. Get it wrong, and they will shred you while you reload.  I love the lever action rifle more than I do the shotguns in this game; its so good. Then come the more dangerous enemies that are smarter and/or headshot resistant, and it's hit & run time. But the levels may not let you though, and the guy whom made this knows how create a combat encounter. How do you put the odds in your favour? Usually fucking dynamite. That's where most of the Blood comparisons come from, that plus some recent dlc, and you can do things with the stuff you may not of thought of. Also, lanterns make for improvised napalm grenades, it's amazing. Mechanically, this is as good as anything I’ve played like it. For a lot of the time however, the game feels punishing.

To go back to that first paragraph, I'd say a lot of Cultic's challenges for me come down to control inputs. Like I said, I'm not very good. I hit a wall with the Chapel level, a significant challenge with respawning foes, a tank that can one-shot you, and quick saving suddenly turned off. I simply could not maintain that pace, and while the previous level had been building up to this, it was a still a major difficulty spike. So, I restarted the campaign, with the controls tweaked, upgraded my weapons differently, came into the situation with more ammo, and hit exactly the same wall. Yes, there's a checkpoint, but it doesn't help. Defeated, I dropped down to "Casual"  difficulty and prayed for forgiveness from Gork & Mork. I haven't had to do something like that since Metal Gear Rising: Revengence. Anyway, this obviously made for a much more relaxed time, so much so I was reminded of the earliest  Doom levels or the hand-holding Half Life likes to do. I had played through the same six levels multiple times by that point, I had the basics down pat, but I was swimming in medkits. Maybe there is a discussion to be had about how important difficulty is to the gameplay experience, but for now, let's just say that Cultic is a game for people whom do this sort of thing a lot. Even then, the reminder of the first episode on casual wasn't without it's deaths. The scale of the game expands significantly, bringing in new foes, with level design being a constant joy. By itself, chapter one is as an extremely worthwhile shooter that I wish I was better at playing. I had however also brought chapter two, and I was committed now. Coming several years after the first installment, with a bonus level in-between, this is not merely more of the same. Its, well, even bigger. It's almost an expand-alone sequel. I'm tempted to describe it as a Doom 2 situation, an already great game has received additional weapons and enemies, but that undersells it. Level design is even more impressive, resulting in frankly huge locations and endless variety of combat encounters. Survival horror elements feel if anything stronger this time around, with ammunition seemingly less common, deeply disturbing atmosphere, and levels simply lasting that much longer. There’s a few things I want to highlight here, like the shopping mall, the slaughterhouse, and the fairground. And its great, its just keeps on surprising you with its ambition and sheer proficiency. My issues with the controls still remain however; I actually sprained my left arm taking on that helicopter mutant! I tried the gamepad again after that one, which helped for that one boss, but the first cultist ambush immediately thereafter killed me in seconds. Back to keyboard & mouse then. Holy shit, Cultic, stop breaking my balls.

 

Conclusion 
When you hit your grove, Cultic is an intoxicating experience. Those moments when the level design and combat mechanics come together to create an intense experience. It's also something of a creative marvel, taking what is an outdated style of game and perfecting it. The game is simply so very good at what it's choosing to do. And I enjoy it despite the fact the mouse & keyboard setup annoys me more than a manual gearbox, and I had to turn down the difficulty because I suck at it. Try the demo, see how it feels, if good, buy both chapters without fear. Then maybe die a lot, but I think you'll enjoy it.