Not-Transformers: Dr Wu DW-E57B Giant Claw is Something That Exists

 

Something I find difficult when talking about the so-called third party Transformers scene is finding a fresh angle. It is necessary to acknowledge their dubious legal status, which tends to make any subsequent article an exercise in self-justification. But omit that, and you aren't being honest are you? And then, any discussion about the actual merits of an item runs into one sided comparison with actual Hasbro products. Third party tends to be better than Hasbro stuff, but of course it is. It's not subject to child safety considerations and typically costs loads more. Even with 2026 being 2026. You don't compete by being both worse and more expensive. This having been acknowledged, I find myself dabbling more in third party or non-transformers of late. I think it's just a side effect of Hasbro being Hasbro, and Age of the Primes generally being meh. I do wonder this represents a change in taste, or possibly an ethical decay on my part. But then, Hasbro wants to give J. K. Rowling money these days, so I suppose, fuck it, two wrongs make a right. As a result, Dr Wu's output has become my default "stupid convention purchase". If am at a robot convention, I want a robot. And would like to be something novel and/or awesome, that I wouldn't otherwise be easily able to get. I am just like that. Giant Claw is my latest such indulgence, a slightly chibi version of the Japanese exclusive character Black Zarak, a citiformer in miniature, whom now also turns into a box. I'm gonna talk merit, before talking about the issues. And hopefully find that fresh angle in the process.

The obvious question to ask here is, is it any good? And the short answer is, yes it is. Components here are overtly too small for a child, but it's got a lot to recommend for the size conscious collector. All the luxury touches you'd probably want are there. It's is notably still a headmaster, and the partner robot in gold is there. Both are, just to stress the point, tiny, but they are there. Its robot mode has a pleasing likeness, this colour scheme always looks great, well, except when I photograph it, with nice articulation, and a buttload of accessories. The tail assembly does limit the waist rotating, a modest downer, but there's transformation joints to use there. The fingers are articulated too, as are the gun turrets, which pivot up.  The base mode does the job well, although perhaps a touch better than the scorpion mode. Said scorpion does benefit from unexpected joints in the neck and horns, but the bug legs are too small. The box mode is merely adequate, not the best one, but an entirely acceptable as a bonus mode. There’s a certain degree of faff to it, as you tab the accessories in, but it works. So, most things are good. These seem to go for about voyager money plus a tenner, I don’t think you’ll question the value proposition here, if the style appeals. I just kept on having pleasant little surprises when writing this review, its that sort of good.

A lot of my issues here come down to nitpicks. It's just consistently well-presented and engineered, with imperfections usually justified by either the original source, or the cutesy vibe. Problems are often one of contrast, rather than cut corners or bad implementation. To talk about Giant Claw's actual weaknesses properly though, I'm gonna tangent and talk about another toy entirely, Iron Fortress. I picked this up a while back, and while I started a write-up, but it didn't quite come together. See the first paragraph. Iron Fortress was Dr Wu's take on Metroplex, mine being in Metrotitan colours, and was a very impressive piece with three partner robots. But impressive as it was, it was also undermined by it's own complexity and it's eyestrain inducing instruction sheet. The box mode wasn't worth the effort either, which is a bit weird for a guy made of boxes, but if you just wanted a tiny Metroplex, you're golden. Giant Claw is much closer in vibe and hand feels to my first Dr Wu purchase, Evil Dragon, but issues with the paperwork and an occasional fiddly bit do occur. The instructions assume that the toy comes in box mode, which it does not, and figuring that out in reverse isn't ideal. Said instructions also presume the regular release which has a different head design and also doesn't acknowledge the spear accessory for some reason. I figured that out too, but it's not ideal either. TBH, I'm not a huge fan of rifle and spear anyway, because you're having to work with and around those big claws, but I'm not seeing an obvious better way of doing it at this scale. There's also a certain amount of partsforming kibble which is inherited from its source material, and these are quite small parts. I could have lived without those gold panels. As a result, what should be a fairly simple process, shifting between modes, is not as elegant as it could be, but your mileage may vary on that one. Like I said, nitpicks.

 

All in all, Giant Claw is pretty good. Only failed by the instruction sheet, and the occasional 6/10 design choice. But as it so good, any flaws have a painfully sharp contrast. If they nailed the instructions, maybe going double-sided, Dr Wu would be unstoppable. Dunno if I found a fresh angle there, but hopefully this of use to someone. And yes. If Hasbro did something similar to this, I'd buy it.

WH40K: Why I’m not buying that new Armageddon book (yet)

Righty, a bonus article. Part blog update, part opinion piece. If you follow 40k news at all, you might have noticed that things seem a bit hype lately. We've had a few campaign books, with new units added, the most recent being the for Armageddon front, the famous orks versus guard meatgrinder. This one is almost perfectly tuned to interest me, but like the 10th ed Ork codex I'm not indulging. Why? Because 11th edition has been announced, and we've got maybe six weeks before it goes live. Yes, I probably could get some new models painted and get a couple of games in, but I'm not playing 40k regularly just now, and I have other commitments. It's an expensive and silly idea to even try. I need only to point to my Astra Militarum experiences as to why being an early adopter with FOMO is bad idea. Truthfully, my plans with respects to 40k are to wait for 11th edition, get a deal on a launch box, and paint it as a long-term project. It should be easier to find new sparring partners around then too, as everyone will want to learn the new game.  This Armageddon book will either be a flash in the pan, made obsolete before the end of the year, or an expense I can defer for a while. As the actual data sheets and detachments are free to download, it's not like it's urgent. Its not like the lore matters...

All that being said, I didn't want to let Armageddon pass without comment. And I currently have a suspiciously coincidental 6 week buffer on articles, so you get a bonus post, to help make it i vaguely topical. Presenting room temperature takes on the stuff that interests me.

 

Commissar Yarrick: Possibly the best single retcon in a setting made of retcons. So good to see this guy back, and I'm so glad he has interesting and powerful rules. As opposed to "anti-ork 2+" or some other targeted bonus, that kinda thing is deeply boring and can feel like a fuck-you. See the assorted Imperial Oddments factions for where this can go wrong. I dunno if his power in ordering infantry will last, nerfs are probable, but if I did indulge in named characters, it would be he. I'm looking forward to fighting him with my Orks, and he is supposedly amazing in Recon Element, where he would lead scores of hard-to-see infantry.

Commissar Graves: I don't think anyone was actually expecting a deranged lady commissar on a pimpmobile, but I think we're all happy she's here. It takes a lot of charisma and novelty not to be immediately overshadowed by Yarrick in this context, but I'd say yeah, she's doing OK. Who doesn't like an efficiently priced vehicle that does good support work and some melee? Definitely of interest in mechanised forces, although the on-foot version suffers from similar design issues to the generic commissar. I also expect fan art and memes, but I'm not gonna go looking...

The Centaur RSV: Yes, it's a fine Ork Trukk! I will be doing that eventually, as will about 100% of all Ork players. As a guard unit, it's definitely a welcome tool to have for objective play. It's current price is perhaps not ideal though, coming in at the same cost as the Chimera for a much less durable and less well-armed platform. What commentary I've read on this suggests that we'll see this unit as a ride for heavy weapon teams, Ogryns, or Kasrkin, which would be kinda boring, but ok. I'm not a huge fan of when Orks try that trick, trying to form a light tank or mobile bunker from a transport, and I don't think it fits the guard vibes either. Catachans and Combat Engineers probably have a nice new ride though. 

 

The Hippogriff AFV: And speaking of light tanks, we have this. I like the look of the Hippogriff. I like it's fire & fade rule. I also like how that new Armoured Infantry detachment plus this tank, means that guard can do more mobile styles of play, like mechanised but more agile. But I don't like the mislabeled weapons, and I don't like the price comparisons. For most things you want this tank for, you'd just take a Scout Sentinel, which is cheaper. Hellhounds and Chimeras are also potentially unfavourable contrasts, those being more established with the option for HK missiles. I do really want this unit to work though, and it looks to be a great board control piece. I suspect we won't have a good handle on this unit though for a while. Probably not until 11th is established and we know what is "optimal" weapon fit is. Is it all melta? Or does the cannon/stubber option have legs? We just don't know. 

Wazdakka Gutsmek: Yes, it's grand to see him with an actual model after all this time. And the model is incredibly extra.  Not my current vibe for Orks, and I'm not into Epic Heroes as mentioned, but I see the appeal. I would have liked more Orks in the Armageddon book, TBH, but if we're in the 11th edition starter box we're probably fine.

The Various New Detachments: Yeah, these look fun, especially the Superheavy Tank one. I'm not touching any of them until the meta settles though.

And to end on a sour note...

The Steel Legion Controversy: For heaven's sake, could we fucking not? I get it. I'm angry about the loss of the generic infantry squad too. And it makes sense that you'd want actual Armageddon troopers for an Armageddon campaign book. But Krieg started out as player 2 colours Steel Legion, just reverse the trick. Or look up Death Fields, maybe? I think the Catachans need the attention more.

 

Gaming: The Last Starship (PC, Steam)

So, I picked this up in mid February. I was in need of a fresh distraction, and this looked to be an inexpensive one. And its from the Prison Architect people, so that's pedigree. The demo was fun too, so I rolled the dice on the full version. I played it pretty intensely for a week, before pausing, and reassessing it. What follows is a brief discussion of it's positives, before moving onto wider discussion.

The Last Starship is a sandbox spaceship game, with a variety of gameplay styles. You can variously play as bounty hunter, courier, industrialist, cruise liner, or just stick to a thread of story missions that might teach you how to be those things. Mostly these are bite-sized chunks of gameplay, and you can pace yourself however you want. One aspect where it does stand out is it's 2D art direction. Your ship is always presented from the same isometric angle, so the universe spins around you as you turn. It's honestly a fun thing to do. Visuals are generally characterful and the combat isn't without it's charms. You switch into tactical mode, which has a wireframe/radar vibe, and things become about inertia and positioning. It's very age-of-sail at first, with ships kiting around each-other and such. Ship customisation is very much a thing, and it's probably the thing that the game does best. Yes, you can treat it as a base builder with a FTL drive bolted on, but there's definitely more things to be doing, with facilities to manage entire fleets of ships. Its pretty in it's way, with a lot of variety in things to do, and it's priced at 15 quid. Its a good value proposition, is what I'm saying. So why did I go off it like I did?

 

One thought  that did occur to me after 12 hours or so of fumbling around, was that I wasn't sure if the game was complex or shallow. There's an awful lot presented to you at the start, it's a big sandbox even before you get into other game modes. Figuring out the various systems is a big part of the experience, and you're probably gonna need to look at the odd YouTube video or two, despite in-game help. However, once I got a working knowledge of something, the game suddenly felt a bit simple and small. One thing I took to quite quickly was mining and smelting ore. I found a good spot, put in systems so I could produce my own fuel etc, parked up, and cranked up the game speed. I'd effectively turned this into an idle game, my efforts being so profitable that the bits I still had to buy were trivial percentages. My ship became like a cancerous tumor of capitalism, relentlessly consuming, expanding, while my faceless and totally interchangeable crew do muscle work. I got bored after that, and decided to do something else for a bit, easily buying my way into whatever I wanted to. I didn't bother with the robot arm and track automation stuff either, because there didn't feel a need. Ships have to get real big before human crew stop being practical. My point? Well, once you get to a certain level of wealth both risk and the desire to innovate kinda drops off. Sorry folks, this is no longer a games review, its Babbee's First Marxism. I suppose there's the creative mode if you just want to skip all that.

 

This is not me saying the gameplay loop is bad, I actually found it to be rather intoxicating in my neurodivergent way. But I would say the gameplay is functional and perfunctory in what it does, but rarely noteworthy at something. A jack of all trades, if you will. It's a typical example of it's genre I think, the sandbox aspects being a mixed blessing. Or I just found an obvious way to break the difficulty progression, I'm not totally sure. I did notice that much of the logistics and industry were relatively basic and automated. You have mining lasers to mine stuff out, and drones to collect the resources for example. And they will do this of their own accord, but direct instruction, of anything, isn't something the game does. There's no immediate scarcity of resources, nor large scale economics model that noticed, so it can feel like mining for mining's sake. Most of it feels like content for content's sake TBH. Or possibly a game that hasn't quite matured from its Early Access period. Ultimately, the it didn't hold my interest after its good first impression.

 

 

While I've not tried everything The Last Starship has to offer, I have spent 19 hours with it at time of writing, so I think I've seen a lot. And I think I've got a good way to sum it up. It's like an inexpensive buffet breakfast at a hotel. None of it is really that great, but most of it's OK. I've spent more to get less, but unless some killer DLC comes out for this, I doubt it will have a lasting impact.

Transformers: Collaborative Twin Mill is Something That Exists

OK time for a brief follow-up to the Bone Shaker article. Twin Mill is Bone Shaker's wavemate, and the general consensus seems to be that he's good, but not quite as good as the greaser. That's probably fair, but it just goes to show how much context matters. If I'd picked this up first, I'd spend a lot more of the word count talking about refreshing it is. And trust me, it is refreshing as carformers go, and there's at least one area where he does better than Bone Shaker. His flaws are however are perhaps more immediate.

 

The car mode for example is extremely well-presented, with loads of paint, more style, and translucent windows. Few, if any corners were cut here, and complaints are in nitpick territory. However, taking it out of the packet revealed a case of visible Head Syndrome, and some minor imperfections on the shoulders which I touched up. Not the best first impression, TBH, took a bit of the shine off. Its fairly compact car mode too. Bone Shaker in general actually isn't that much bigger than Twin Mill, but that open top and wheelbase do make him look like he's in a slightly different scale. Twin Mill is more like a modern minibot deluxe by comparison. These are all fairly ignorable flaws though, and it turns out you can turn the head around. It rolls well, the wheels being pinned, if loosely at the back, and this mould does a lot better with accessories. The air intakes are on 5mm pegs, so you can swap them for guns if you want. As car modes go it's almost ideal, despite that rough start, if maybe a bit small considering crossover premium.

The transformation and subsequent robot mode are similarly good, putting me in mind of several other Autobots. The overall vibe is of Tracks by way of G1 Blurr, with a bit of Armada Blurr thrown in for the arms. It's a skinny and lithe build, with long legs like a runner. The proportions are better than Bone Shaker, size comparisons being more favourable in this mode too, but the leg issue is here too and more obvious. This was crying out for something to fill in those lower legs, and he's mainly leg. On the plus side, Twin Mill has a much better accessory game, as he ends up with wrist swivels, forearm mounted flame throwers, which retain the 5mm port functions from car mode, and the flame effects I've yet to mention. These flames are hard plastic, so I’d advise a touch of caution, but otherwise this beats Bone Shaker hands down. Those engine blocks bulk out the otherwise thin forearms nicely, adding that little bit of 5mm play value without ruining the look, and robot arson is always great. Its poses well too, although my example has loose knees. So, much like Bone Shaker, it's pretty great toy in both modes, but with at least one potentially deal breaking quirk.

Is Twin Mill actually the worse of the two? Well, I've been back and forth on this, and I'm gonna say "No, but". What better describes Twin Mill is to say that he is the more conventional of the two, and my example seems to have slightly weaker quality control which makes it feel less premium. He's much closer to the Transformers baseline, so he's got better fundamentals, but ends up less interesting. Physically, and metaphorically, he is a touch overshadowed by Bone Shaker, which isn’t great given the price tag, but that's a long-long way from saying he's bad. And he will soon be available in red. If in doubt, pick up the one you like best first, and then maybe see about a sale for the second. 

Gunpla: The WMS-03 Maganac (HG)

 Yes, it's time to talk about Wing's lesser known grunt.

The eponymous machine of the Maganac Corps is something without a clear or direct equivalent in wider Gundam. It's a good guy grunt treated with some dignity, and isn't obviously a re-imagining of something from the One Year War. Rather they are what are the box calls a Middle Eastern Nations design, with all that implies. There is possibly an Orientalist aspect to this, and if Quatre Raberba Winner isn't a nod towards Lawrence of Arabia I'd be very surprised.  But then I am British. There's supposedly 40 of them, there was even a big multipack towards that end, and how many thieves did Ali Baba have? I did attempt some research on the creative intent here, I asked around, but I did not find much, so I'll leave that discussion to other writers. Practically, the Maganac was judged to be superior to the Leo, although that's a low bar, with customised versions being common. My recollection is that these guys weren't in the show that much, but generally gave good account of themselves when they did.

 

As a kit, the Maganac is one of those 30 Minutes Missions adjacent armybuilders. It's a relatively simple design with a few polycaps, but mostly friction/clip joints. In some respects it's a transitional piece, with the shoulder joints looking an awful lot like, no, exactly like common polycaps. Colour accuracy is good, but also an annoying near miss. I don't really care that the gun's magazine is the wrong colour, or that you need to put a couple of stripes on the tower shield. I do mind that the yellow panels on the shoulders are stickers when the kit is otherwise very good at colour separation. On the plus side, there's a few weapon storage options, the gun being stowable in the shield, and there being adapters for the axe and shield to stow on the back. The latter two are functional, but don't look great. They look a bit "first draft"; doing the job, but aren't that visually pleasing.  There’s transfers though, if that’s your thing.

While this kit is more solid than the Leo, with fewer fiddly bits, I like it less. Part of that is because the Leo is a fucking classic design, and the Maganac isn’t. However part of that is execution, like the stickers which just aren’t great. The Leo has its flaws, but can easily be built up with little things like foil behind the visor, some black paint, basic panel lining, gundam markers, and/or the inkwash of your choice. Its a simple design that rewards simple techniques, but if you go that extra mile it can shine. If you want a great Maganac, this kit requires you to either sticker the thing up, or paint yellow atop of brown, both options being very annoying.  Also, while true to the animation, there's a notable lack of surface detail here, especially on the lower legs, and a some flair wouldn't have gone amiss. I’d also like the highlight the elbow and knee joints as areas where corners were cut, although they are entirely functional.

 

I ended up doing some basic weathering here, trying to conceal some cutmarks, and did up the sensors with paint. I think it works alright, but this isn't the best kit to start with TBH. 

My Time at TFNation Manchester 2026

Bloody hell, 3 years. And its a full convention now, with a slight name change, and panels on the Friday.

I kinda went into this one with mixed feelings though. My selection of increasingly boring mental health issues had been bothering me in the weeks leading up to the event, while Transformers in general wasn't grabbing me that much. Well, except for Bone Shaker, but I already had him, and I'll be talking about his wavemate soon. I was aware of a need for a holiday, and welcomed the opportunity to see friends. But I wasn't really going in with a shopping list or itinerary. My objectives: try to socialise, and do some good work for charity as part of Toy-Fu. We as a group definitely did that last one, although I continue to struggle with the first.

I regretted not taking a taxi to the station almost immediately, as a bus time table proved to be inaccurate and my burden comical. Back in January, I'd collected an eBay order on Toy-Fu's behalf, and while I am stubborn that only helps so much. I got to the station though, and the journey wasn't too bad. I just needed to have a shower afterwards. Having showered, probably to the benefit of all and sundry, I attempted to socialise while waiting for the Toy-Fu crew to arrive. I found this a touch difficult. At previous events I was able to recognise a few people, less so this time. Seemed a slightly different crowd, although I did manage to use the old “is that robot any good?” technique. This however stopped being a concern once the dealer’s room opened for a late night set-up. This made for a much easier Saturday morning, and a generally more chill experience all round. Which was nice. Not perfect though. For most of Saturday morning my brain played the ending theme to Dragon Half on loop. And by the end of it, I was making the sort of mistakes where I wasn't sure if I was overtired or just an idiot. Those options are not mutually exclusive, given how many toys I’d decided to transport via crowded public transport. On the plus side: those toys mostly sold, I think I pulled my weight, saw a couple of friends in person, and I did find it easier to talk to people in a salesman role. I did eventually get to do some socialising after we’d loaded the van, we had a nice meal, but I was fading fast. And really felt it the next day. Because if it wasn’t the physical exhaustion, it was the fucking clock change. 

Anyway. A nice and productive time overall. How was the robot side of things? Uhh, kinda neutral. I did manage to attend one panel, and I did manage to pick up a few indulgences.  Reading TFN is still a smaller event than Birmingham TFN, and so both traders and events were scaled to match, so I didn’t find that much. The Hotwheels Collaborative was present, and I know if held off to purchase them there, I’d be a lot more hype. Something-something don’t spoil your dinner. I did however pick up four items, with a majority of the money going to Toy-Fu, because I’m like that. In order of increasing size and cost:

Blokees Galaxy Version Defender Megatron: Yeah, so I brought this to build in the bar, as I’d waited too long to get Tarn. Oh well. If/When I do get Tarn, he can have his idol.

Titans Return Scourge: An obsolete, headmaster-styled version of Galvatron’s bearded lackey. It was cheap though, and I kinda vibe with it.

Dr Wu Great Claw: In the apparent shortage of compelling items from Hasbro I’ve found myself drawn to Dr Wu’s assortment of baby citiformers that are also beastbox. It just makes for a nice treat, although I mustn’t let this become too much of a habit. This one seems to split the difference between Energy Dragon and Iron Fortress, but I’m still getting used to it.

Webdiver Galleon: Look, sometimes you just get an urge for something amazing. Its a Japanese-dragon-robot-pirate-ship. And also a video game accessory. Do I need to say more?

I dunno if any of these are blog material, but I kinda like ‘em.

Plamo: Stargrave Automatons

At time of writing, I’m between major modeling projects. And that will probably remain the case until either 40K 11th edition, or I discover something fun, whatever happens first.  But I did get these in late January, and wanted to briefly talk about them, once I got around to it...

OK, so the inspiration for these as models is obviously a melange of Borg and Adeptus Mechanicus, spiced with the Strogg from Quake and the 1999 Jamie Lee Curtis film Virus. Like so many Stargrave kits, there's innumerable head and weapon options, with the ratio of melee to guns being more choppy than the norm. There is however some bigger guns in there too,  like a recognisable flamer and heavy bolter-alike. The heads meanwhile  tend to straddle the cyborg/zombie line, although there are some necron-adjacent scarabs that seem rather interesting.  In many ways its a kitbasher’s dream. One observation I would make however is that these models sometimes have bare feet, and a tattered look on the fabric. This leads to ye olde fixed pose problem, whereby a supposedly unique model with individual battle damage gets repeated in a squad. I mean, how many guys with one robot leg, but no shoes, would you expect to see? It's not an actual problem, but if you're wanting to make, say, military cyborgs, you're probably better off not using the bodies here. However, I'd go so far as to say that making a Servitor Killteam is very possible, and that may indeed become something I try.

 

As I was feeling out this kit, I built two sets of five. The first set was mainly melee, attempting a Borg colour scheme, while the second was shooty in admec red, or orange as it turned out. The colour schemes were experimental, and due to a paint drying out, I had to improvise a bit with the flesh tones. These were painted by dry brushing the fabric first, followed by basecoats for skin and metals, trying to keep an optimised order of application. Secondary colours and such followed, then an inkwash, and finishing touches. The bare feet presented some challenges to basing, so I kept that, um, basic.

 

 
Perhaps not my best work, but a fine distraction. I don’t know if I’ll do any more, but I’m happy to have the leftovers in the bitz box.

 

Kitbash: Another Deathskull Looted Rhino

 

I will admit to being tempted by those new Red Corsairs. Sometimes... you just get bored, and space pirates are fun. Then that mutated into a more general interest in capital C Chaos, as a modeling project. I even got some models to test out a few paints, but it didn't quite come together. That might be for the best. At time of writing, mid-March, it's clear 11th edition is  approaching and it is therefore massively dumb to start anything 40k related, but I still needed to do something. Then I tried a freeform scratch build, and that didn't come together either. So, I went back to something I'd shelved.

 

You see, as much as I love Orks, I've basically done everything. Not beast snaggas admittedly, but near enough, and I dunno if 11th ed will change that. Although Yarrick is back, that's pretty cool. Really brightened a Monday. Anyway, that leaves either reclamation/modernisation projects like today's subject, or more modern and thus more expensive plastics. The former isn't that exciting, and it's hard to justify the latter. Especially as I'm not playing 40k regularly just now. So, the best thing I could find to do was rebuild an old predator/rhino hull into a "counts as" trukk. This would bring my count up to 6, which is likely to be as many as I'd ever need, and, you know, having a couple of rhinos makes sense for Deathskulls. As Warboss rides and such. Fortunately, this proved to be a fun little distraction of a project, that people seemed to like too.

 

As I'd already orkified this once, the main things I had to do here was expose the crew compartment and to add a wreckin' ball.  This makes it a less thorough rebuild than the last one, but truthfully less structural work was needed. This was then painted in my usual manner, if only to stay in practice. I mixed my own metal paints for the hull, and mud paint for the undersides. Perhaps the most significant thing I did was paint in the grilled(?) headlights with a tiny wee brush, which is the kind of detail I’d avoid in the past. I didn't do it that well, now I look at the photos, but paint mistakes are fine with orks, I suppose. I touched those up later on.

Job’s a good ‘un.

Transformers: Age of the Primes Venin is Something That Exists

 The Transformers 1985 Venom toy

 

OK. I'm not surprised that Venin is something that exists. I am surprised that he is both a new mould, and not some form of exclusive. Here's the thing. Hasbro has spent a few years modernising the big three Insecticons again, the famous G1 robobug swarm. At the same time, they took the opportunity to revamp the much, much much MUCH more obscure other four. Four toys not made by Takara, and thus had no real fictional appearances to speak of. Comic book scene fillers at best. I don’t think I've ever actually seen the toys in person either, TBH. This was mainly achieved via retools released in exclusive multipacks, until Venom, now Venin for legal reasons, turned up. But is he any good? Well, he got bumped by Bone Shaker, so that should be a hint, but read on to find out.

I suppose I should expand at bit more on the context here. Venin's first toy, much like Jetfire, originates with the late Takatoku Toys, and the obscure Armored Insect Corps Beetras toyline, a bug themed mecha property. As such, Venin and his ilk don't resemble the best known Insecticons except by theme, and went through a few substantial colour changes when Hasbro licensed them. To the best of my knowledge, Beetras has yet to experience any form of post-80’s revival, so Venin is the only significant attention that series has ever had, and only then by a technicality. And it's a fairly faithful modernisation, very much a G1-plus-actual-articulation job. And, that's pretty much the review. It's the original toy put in the modern deluxe price point, with the quality of life stuff common of that size class. This means the transformation is fundamentally the same, the look is fundamentally the same, and the flaws are fundamentally the same.  Just with ankle tilts. This sadly means that Venin in robot form suffers for that distinctive belly-wing arrangement, that hampers articulation in the arms. I suppose you could have them hang up front like an apron, but that doesn't look great. All four limbs have substantial hollowness for transformation purposes, and the head doesn't do much for bug mode. A flaw seemingly unique to this version though is how the fists are merely tabbed in, rather than pinned in place, so they detach often. One wonders if someone had a budget cut, or a monkey's paw? On balance, its rather mediocre as deluxes go. That said, while I can't make a direct comparison, it turns out that this is actually a head larger than the original. Maybe this is a more complete upgrade than I initially thought…

Maybe it is. I went looking for videos of the original, and there are a few differences I want to highlight. The torso has been redesigned to skinnier and more angular, going from a Parks & Rec' Chris Pratt to a MCU Chris Pratt.  Some of it is now translucent too, which works very well with the existing colour palette. It's not a common colour scheme, but it works, benefiting from some nice tampographs. I do like how the odd hand axe combines with the gun for a better axe. The bug mode, in this case a Cicada, is basically unique among decepticons, with all legs articulated at the base, plus the wings. The head is also articulated, but given that this is just the robot mode head, that's a less of a positive, just something inherited from the source material. And thus far, this is the only unique Insecticon mould, that counts for something right?

Overall, Venin feels like an earnest attempt, but is being faithful to a fault. It's like what happened with Needlenose, but not as severe. Venin is at least an interesting starting point, and is doing OK at what it's choosing to do. But I can't help but question if this was the right call. This dude got this level of attention? Really? Sure, that's a nice note to end the Insecticons on, but why this guy? As opposed to, say, three other Insecticons. Or almost anyone else, from any continuity you care to name. Fair play to the design team for doing something different, we need more of that, but Venin isn't gonna win many new fans as is. Interesting, but not especially good, Venin is merely something that exists.

Gunpla: The gMS-01 Sugai's Gelgoog (GQ)

OK, it looks like I'm gonna have to explain the painfully named Gundam GQuuuuuuX. It's still very new, so hopefully I won't get sidetracked too much.

GquuuuuuX is the Gundam multiverse series. No, not Turn-A. Nor Build. Or Super Robot Wars. No, it's the one explicitly about alternative universes and canon, although it doesn't immediately present like that. Initially, it presents as a "what if Zeon won" story, imaging a different story route for the original 1979 anime, but parallel worlds and time-whimey elements consume the narrative. At which point, it's not really a warstory any more, nor a real robot show, because realities are being created or destroyed seemingly at will. To give a spoiler free analogy; GQ is akin to a Spider-Man story where someone is repeatedly resetting history to keep Uncle Ben alive and ensure Peter Parker never becomes a superhero. It's the kind of story you write when you understand the letter of canon, and have memorised the apocrypha, but don't actually understand why any of it was important in the first place.

The "Gelgoog" is a good example of how self-regarding the show can be. It's the Zeon made mass-produced version of the original Gundam, a GM in all but name. The original Gelgoog was of course the Zeon answer to the Gundam, and the name has been applied here..... just because? This rather like Nazis knocking off a Sherman tank and then calling it the King Tiger. It makes sense for Zeon to apply it's own naming conventions, don't get me wrong, but that's typical of the self-referencing stuff GQ does. As to why it looks like it does? Well.... just because? GQ designs kinda look like that. Yes it does put me in mind of the difference between 80's Transformers and Michael Bay's Transformers. And to make it better, or possibly worse, this is not the stock colour scheme. That’s a stereotypical green affair on a limited release. No, this is Sugai’s colours, a Federation ace who has somehow settled on a paintjob not otherwise present in this universe, which makes it look as much as possible like a GM …just because? Its the ouroboros of grunt suits. 

GQuuuuuuX, as a series, sets off my autism something fierce. All this having been acknowledged, I feel I should mention that I actually kinda like the Gelgoog on its own terms. I like how the legs exist mainly as frame for some rocket engines. I like the odd offset(?) joints; they are very Syd Mead. I like the forearm shields, and the fact you can John-Woo this guy with twin pistols. I like that all the weapons store.  No, the white bits on that exaggerated collar aren’t beam sabers, those are greeblies. I even kinda like the finger harpoon thing. Had GQ been it's own narrative, its mecha designs would have been viewed as modern and fresh. Or at least something interesting by the Evangelion guy. A subtle homage maybe? Instead, everything in the series exists in a context where it is unavoidably compared to a genre making classic, and the creative team behind this was, perhaps, not up for that comparison. Either that, or I’m just desperately trying to justify my own hypocrisy in buying this.

 

So, all that having been said, fucking hell, three paragraphs just to place this properly in its incestuous continuity and I didn't even mention Sugai! Oh well, let's skip that. She was only in one episode, I dunno if she actually matters that much, and I've written too much already.   

Ahem, so, all that having been said, how is the Gelgoog as an actual kit? Interesting and boundary pushing. The high parts count is used to create a layered effect in the details, in often creative ways. It's complex, but not needlessly so. It comes with a decent selection of hands and weapons, even throwing in a Darth Maul gimmick just for the kit. Colour accuracy is 99% ideal; there’s a few areas that need some black paint, like the inside of the leg thrusters, but that’s really nothing remarkable. I'm not a huge fan of the black plastic, and the odd choice of opaque plastic for the sensors, but this at least on the level of that Origin GM, but with no stickers. The joint design is a notable highlight, with no polycaps used and some clever locking taps used in places. With the backpack thrusters the ball joints like to come off, but all load-bearing joints seem great. It takes a while to get everything done, there’s a lot here due to its  unconventional design, but if you want a quality example of what Bandai can do with a Gunpla, here it is.

The Gelgoog was very impressive build, which honestly did not need much work to look good.  I did a basic weathering job, that possibly goes against the vibe of its series, but its fine.  I wasn’t able to fix the backpack issue, but that’s manageable. Also, I realised upon writing this that the thighs should probably not have that horizontal seam, that's something for the colour variants. Oh well, too late now, and its still a good kit. Pick it up if you like the looks of it.

Opinion: Thoughts on Warhammer 40K, 10th Edition, and its Balance

As I begin to write this, it's clear that the 10th edition of Warhammer 40,000 is entering it's final months. Almost every faction has received its codex, and a big new campaign is under way. The pattern is there. So, as something a bit different, I’m gonna talk about 10th ed’s balance for a bit.

The most obvious gameplay challenge, the one everyone can spot and I have already written about, is that half the game is space marines. That is to say, half the game is based around super soldiers, and this has become a baseline average rather than anything noteworthy. This has created a sort of exceptionalism treadmill, where marines have to be the favoured sons of any style of warfare, with that one thing they are very good at, but still pretty good at everything else. Especially when it's your chapter. Yes, yes, with the arguable exception of horde infantry, space marines != horde, but Black Templars give that a good go too. People want their super soldiers to feel like super soldiers, which is fair, but that's a matter of comparisons and vibe, and it's deeply undercut if every second person is beakies. It also leads to a certain degree of envy and petty entitlement whenever a non-marine faction does well or somehow shakes up the meta. I'm not sure how you actually address this as a problem, except to say people keep confusing "The Emperor’s Finest", with the absolute best of the best, and given GRIMDARK they should probably loose more. Practically, what this means is that, for basically 'ever, a consistently prudent way to build an army is to build it around killing marines. But let's put a pin in that for a moment, and bring in another issue, tanks and other vehicles. 10th ed has done a solid job of making these durable, but granular. These often need to be worn down, but everything in the game can technically harm everything else, as opposed to previous editions where vehicles could be functionally immune to infantry in some situations. It's a more nuanced discussion these days, although vehicles, and/or big monsters, can create a scaling issue. Imperial Knights for example obviously only have vehicles, which presents a problem in smaller battles where anti-tank is often more difficult to field. You might also point to troop transports as a problem for similar reasons, although those function more as a force multiplier than the brute force of Knights. Ultimately, vehicles aren't an obvious balance issue, except in the skew-build way.  Which, of course, Knights of either flavour actually are. They are big, but they aren't clever. You either have a plan to drop a knight in one turn, or you play the objectives, but I digress.

Now, here's the thing. For a lot of units, and arguably some entire factions, marines and vehicles have the same solution. To kill marines, you want an attack with a high strength, good AP, and multiple damage. Mortal Wound effects are also very handy, as they bypass the usual dice rolling. The requirements for a tank are basically the same, adding only a preference for strength 12+, and/or a higher amount of raw damage. A weapon that can kill tanks will liquefy a marine, it's a weight class thing that nobody could argue against, while a weapon that is especially good at killing a marine is gonna have at least some secondary use against tanks. This is why you see plasma, melta and Lascannon weapons together so often. It's also why Orks take rokkit launchers over big shootas when they can. Going in on such weapons allows you to deal with hard targets, and whatever else the unit has is probably good enough to deal with any soft targets you might run into. And people generally don't do battleline units these days unless they have to, so raw numbers is often not a concern. This may sound like I'm making a case for individual weapon prices in 11th edition, and while that would be nice, it doesn't address the wider issue. The game is top heavy. And there is a further effect of this. GW has been hard on horde armies this edition, and I wonder if that might have been an attempt to manage this phenomenon. A force based on quantity rather than quality does not reward the type of weapon described above. Yes, put a load of plasma and melta into that Krieg unit, its overkill. Take flamers and heavy bolters instead? Well, that's largely gonna bounce off marines and especially tanks, but your average light infantry enjoyer might feel that's tailoring your list just to murder him, rather than actually playing the game. Is that a double standard given what I said about marines above? Maybe. Just maybe. But there's a difference between assuming you'll face the most common foe, and tooling your force to deal with someone specific. And tends to die in droves anyway. And nobody likes having to totally retool their force every game, do they? Also: just swamping the board with cannon fodder isn't any smarter than fielding Knights or your entire tank collection, is it? So I will give GW the benefit of the doubt, and assume that they're trying to minimise the people they upset with 10th ed. But if we assume all weapon options need to be valid, because they are priced the same, this needs to be addressed. Because the anti-infantry option, and especially generalists like missile launchers, just don't appeal.

 

As a case study, let's talk big shootas. Big shootas are the Ork equivalent to the heavy stubber, and they turn up wherever you'd expect a machine gun to. It is usually seen either as part of a rack of options, or as an inoffensive secondary weapon on a vehicle. In an earlier, scrapped version of this article I wrote a little history, ran some numbers, and did a few comparisons. Then I realised it was suffering for two reasons, A) it's anti-infantry role is largely redundant in this context and B) as the rokkit launcha has the blast rule, it can handle horde infantry just as well as having some use against hard targets. There's edge cases where the big shoota functions better, but the rokkit launcha is more useful most of the time. It's actually the generalist option rather than the anti-tank option you might think it is; they averaged out a missile launcher. Your basic rokkit lacks the accuracy and raw punch to worry a proper tank, but it's well placed to kill marines, APCs and the blast gives it use against hordes. Meanwhile, your typical Ork unit, ie Boyz, frankly has little issue with other hordes, but does need that extra bit of boomy. See also kan shootas as an example of an attempt to address this imbalance. Big shootas are only good when there is no opportunity cost. And historically, the only time when big shootas were particularly good was in 3rd edition or so, when you could get more of them in a mob, and rokkits didn't explode. So, in a world where every second army is marines, and every army has something like a tank, you aren’t gonna do the big shoota option, are you? And you see this dynamic anywhere where there’s a choice between an anti-tank gun and a machine gun.

Is this fixable? And how would you do it? Possibly, but I think these issues are kinda baked in at this point. As GW actively maintains the rules these days, I’m confident they’ll keep things steady. I suppose you could put in some kind of mechanism whereby weapons would work differently based on the target, as opposed to merely everything having a common statblock. Say a weapon would have different accuracy based on its target? That way you could have more nuance, and more levers to pull as a game designer. Or you could make everything generic? I dunno. We’ll see how 11th ed turns out. 

Oh and there's Battleshock. I forgot about that. But then, so does everyone else.... 

Plamo: Orks Runtherd and Gretchin

 

I didn't have a great time in early January. I'd survived December, but I was struggling with respect to life goals and various petty annoyances. Then I got a head cold. Yay. So, a new project was needed, and thus today's article.

Anyway, I'd been meaning to pick up some more grots for a while.  It's not because they are especially good, or even competent, it's because they can do the boring objective holding stuff, while generating Command Points, and generally being a nuisance to remove. Gretchin die to almost any attention, but die so quickly any attack feels like a waste of bullets. Also good for screening and movement-blocking purposes. There's definitely diminishing returns with these little blighters, but they do tend to create dilemmas.

Dating from 2009, this kit is probably the realistic plateau for plastic grots. These are mostly fixed pose models, although many have alternate heads, with a random assortment of weapons. There is just enough flexibility to prevent them from getting boring, and there is compatibility with Ork kits of the same generation, something I used for the Runtherd. While obviously smaller than most, these go together with minimal fuss, and generally hit the goldilocks zone. It's also arguably a budget release, offering significantly more points per pound than either of the two Ork Boy kits, although that's approximately £1.45 a model in real terms. I do hope that GW doesn't get it into their heads replace this with something needlessly complicated and/or extravagant.

I didn't do anything fancy with these, merely experimenting with fabric colouring and some highlighting. I did find some of the details a touch soft, so maybe a few of these guys have trousers where there were no trousers before. Getting into the right headspace was in some respects more difficult than the actual painting. I don't think I'm actually getting better, but I am becoming more efficient with what I do, something I felt with my more recent Guard units.

I probably need to find something more interesting to do, but these are OK for now.

Transformers: Collaborative Bone Shaker is Something That Exists

And I keep wanting to call him Bonecrusher…

Maybe its just my mood, or maybe its the creative choices, I’ve found Transformers to be somewhat bland of late. I am a TFN regular of course, but I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that that Age of the Primes was a damp squib. That said, there is an unexpected patch of creativity, found in the extremely inconsistent Collaborative line. Here we see Hasbro working with Mattel to make transforming versions of Hot Wheels cars, as well as Hot Wheels versions of Transformers. And if Bone Shaker here is any indication of how this partnership is gonna play out on the robot side, I might try some optimism. This is a breath of fresh air that I grew to like more and more as I wrote this.

Bone Shaker is based off the diecast car of the same name, which I have previously used for a Gaslands project. It's one of various fictional cars Mattel releases, a sort of 1950/60's rat rod, with a skull and flame motif. That obviously lines up with my tastes pretty well, and makes for a quite distinctive altmode. Black, silver and flame is an inherently cool deco for a car like this, and we haven't really seen its like in Transformers since the Laser Rods of Generation 2. I had two thoughts battling inside my brain when I first picked this up off the shelf, and held it in hand. The first thought was this was kinda small. Yes, inflation is a thing, tariffs are a thing also, and crossovers tend to have a premium surcharge applied. But it felt like there wasn't a huge amount of toy there. On closer inspection however, the car mode it comes in, is but a gnat's wing away from ideal. There's pinned wheels that roll well. A lot of paint, not everywhere, but in the places Hasbro normally skips. There's interior detail, with the seats visible, much like the diecast toy. And there is that glorious skull and exhaust combo upfront. It looks great, perhaps not Alternators great, but nothing to apologise for. Clearly the license agreement mandated this level of fidelity, and they succeeded. It's also notable for what isn't here. Bone Shaker is not built in line with the Siege 5mm port system, no doubt helping the look. This hurts the play value, but I'm not missing it here. He does however have storage for his weapon accessory, a comically big gear stick that plugs in between the seats. This goes unmentioned in the instructions, looks rather daft, but is the only real weakness of the altmode, and it's entirely optional. I mean, if I'm not nitpicking that, I'm gonna have to complain about robot bits on the underside, and who cares? The wiki even suggests its a Rat Fink thing. Its a highly individual car form executed very well and I can't imagine Hot Wheel fans taking any issue either.

 

With the robot form, and the conversion to achieve it, complaints become less subjective. Bone Shaker functions like a lot of carformers in that the front end becomes the upper body, and the back becomes the legs, but the shape of the car presents its own challenges. The chest is dominated by the skull, because failure to do so is probably super robot malpractice, forcing a bunch of panels into the lower legs. As a result, Bone Shaker lacks actual feet. Ankle tilts are present, but these are attached to the car seats and otherwise concealed. This is deeply odd, and combined with various quirks and kibble, will be a deal-breaker for some. The shoulders and feet have been a point of discussion. That said, it's not often these days that I feel the transformation prompts actual discussion. There is a trend these days for the altmode to be a secondary concern, versus articulation and screen accuracy. There's often no flair, and lot of reused engineering. That's not the case here; the conversion scheme is to the best of my knowledge new and interesting. So, yes, I like that they put the car first, this is a welcome change of pace. 

Obviously, as a completely new thing, screen accuracy in robot mode is a total non-issue too. Bone Shaker is not bound by fan expectations, or the silly desire to match cartoons from the 80's. Well, the car mode might be, but I've talked about that already. That leaves us with the basic matters of visuals, posability and play value of that robot form. On the visuals front, Bone Shaker clearly favours his altmode a touch, but there's a lot of character. It's hard to lack character when you have a skull for a chest, shoulder wheels, and a gearstick to beat people with. More gray and orange comes into play, and there is a very nice headsculpt up top, with a mouthplate and exhaust ears. As a whole it works; it's definitely my kind of metal, although given the altmode, perhaps this is more of a greaser? Like Fonzie? Yes, there is kibble and quirky proportions, but from such imperfections comes more character. Articulation meanwhile is decent, but not quite ideal. Wrist swivels would have made a lot of difference, but otherwise it's post-Siege standard. However Siege style 5mm ports are, like the altmode, conspicuous by their absence. I don’t buy many beastformers or Studio Series toys, so maybe that’s just me, but I was honestly surprised. This means we're just working with the fundamentals, but Bone Shaker has good fundamentals, and a presence. A good robot mode overall, which, despite the weird feet, compares well with the car mode.

Now, I want to note one concern, before I end this article on a positive note: I'm not entirely sure why this costs 20% more than a contemporary deluxe. I have cynical suspicions, also excuses, but not certainty. Its perhaps just the paint, and the license. However, Bone Shaker does make a good go at earning that premium. It is, frankly, refreshing to see a Transformer designed this way. It puts the car first, with a clean sheet design, and not learning so heavily on nostalgia of the Transformers nature, while also doing right by the robot form. Yes, 5mm port functions are gone, but I no longer care. Bone Shaker does little wrong, a lot right, and I would love it if Generations as a whole took this path. I mean, just look at it. We do want interesting things in Transformers, right? Do I actually have to explain the concept of awesome, as it pertains to this toy? Yes, its a crossover toy, and benefiting from crossover appeal. But cool car, and cool robot, equals good toy. And what flaws it has, are at least interesting. More please.