So, I started modelling again.....Part 3: Its cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere

Due to both work and family commitments, December is not a great time for me to get things done. Mind you, creativity grabs me when it wants, resulting in this monstrosity.

A little context. Back in the day I was fond of Battlefleet Gothic, a somewhat insane game of space combat. Think of it as more tall ships and Admiral Nelson than fighters and Admiral Ackbar. It was on my radar due to it getting a PC game,, which I intend to get eventually, but I soon realised the rules had since passed into the public domain. Papercraft fleets were also a thing. So, me and a few mates ended up playing a game. I shan't bore you with a recap, the fleets were very unequal as it turned out, but will happily boast that I took out two ships via boarding actions, which made for a moral victory. If not actual victory. Anyway, I decided to take a stab at scratchbuilding an Ork Terrorship, and here we are. Its mainly off-brand lego, green stuff, and assorted plasticard. Some details, like the bridge come from a 1/750 destroyer kit, while the main guns are from WH40k. Scale is a worry here, but, you know, first try. And it ain't done.

Will I make of these? I don't know. Depends how much I end up playing the game. To a certain extent, you have to scratchbuild ships for BFG though. Its been out of production for years, and most of the miniatures have the mixed blessing of being metal pieces, so after market prices are a bit insane.

Mind you, working way up to an orky version of the SDF-1 Macross or the JMC Red Dwarf.....that would be fun.

My Top Twenty Transformer Things of 2016

Since I started selling toys on eBay, I've not been able to do reviews. Its a matter of appearing biased and having conflicting interests. I still collect however, and its the time of year for awards. So, I thought I'd list my favourites, not detailed analysis, but brief discussions of why I like them. All the toys and/or comics would be good, or at least interesting, but the number 1 would not necessarily be the best Transformer this year. I don't dabble in Masterpiece or Japanese lines, and my interest in the comics usually stops with James Roberts, so my sample size is a bit small. So, something in the line of last year's top ten, toys I have in my personal collection which were released this year. More or less. Then I realised its actually been a pretty good year for Transformers, and 10 wasn't big enough a number. Especially since Titans Return Wave 3 started appearing in December, and Six Shot was looking to be a shoe-in for top 5 if I got it in time. Did I get it in time? Well, keep reading.

Let's do a top twenty instead.

Numbers 20-11 represent the honourable mentions category. Toys I'm glad I have, but got pushed out of the top ten by others. You'll notice a lot of retools in there, but that's not a bad reflection on them, as we have parts reuse in the Top Ten too. Buckle up.

20: Titans Return Rewind
While definitely the most successful attempt to reinvent tapeformers, the legends class "tablets" of Titans Return have ended up as an also-ran. Good enough as a group, but one hopes for more interesting toys in later waves. Rising above, more for what he is than what he does, is Rewind. As a toy, he's a nice robot, with an IDW head, a serviceable tank mode, whom adds to Blaster as a chest minion. As one half of a married couple of two guys, yet in Toys R Us, he means a lot more.

19: Titans Return Brawn (Titanmaster)

While not the best solo titanmaster release, Brawn gets on this list due to his general competency and theme. Whereas a lot of the toys at this pricepoint seem a bit misplaced, having Brawn as a tiny dude riding in an ATV isn't a stretch, even if the hoverbike mode is. It helps that the titanmaster evokes his toy design in robot mode, whereas the head is pure cartoon. That aside, functionally its the most consistent toy so far of its kind, not having a weak mode, and probably having the best weapon form. Just a shame that so much detail goes unpainted.

18: Robots in Disguise Quillfire (Warrior)
The modern Robots In Disguise cartoon and its toys have largely failed to register with me. I don't think I was the only one put off by the thought of a series about Bumblebee, and its non-standard size classes reminiscent of Age Of Extinction. The quality did however improve as things went along, eventually giving us this guy. Quillfire is very close to being a proper deluxe, if only his doors folded up, while having loads of character, and two weapons both which stow internally. I'm also amazed they articulated the neck, it could have been so easily been fixed as a cost saving measure.

17: Titans Return Blurr (Deluxe)
Yo listen up here's a story

About a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees
Is just blue
Like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue Corvette
And everything is blue for him
And himself and everybody around
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen

I'm Blurr da ba dee da ba daa

Etc. etc.

Anyway, Blurr is a nice mould, but the blue is overpowering. Gonna repaint mine, I think.

16: Combiner Wars Trailbreaker (Deluxe)
An unexpected pleasure from the final gasps of Combiner Wars, Trailbreaker is another benchmark transformer. Not because he's a brilliant toy, although he has little to apologise for, but more for being better a toy on the second pass. The original Offroad mould is an also-ran of Combiner Wars, suffering from some tabbing issues that affected the already unstable Menasor, and a lack of anything to make it stand out amongst its peers. Trailbreaker fixes both problems, being rock solid in all modes, and adding Rook's party trick. More like this please.

15: Combiner Wars Victorion (Boxset)
My last Combiner Wars purchase, I hope, the fan-built-female-combiner set was an impulse buy at a good price, but proved to be better in hand then I expected. Its that beautiful sword and all that subtle retooling to make them feminine without going the sexy robot route. Unified colour schemes, and the fact the Combiner Wars toys are rarely bad helps too. That said, quality control issues and simple mould fatigue seem to be at play here, taking the shine off.

14: Titans Return Powermaster Prime (Leader)
An extensive and perhaps obvious retool of Ultra Magnus, this adds new play features, a third mode, addresses the hand issue, and brimgs an industrial amount of nostalgia. Given that Magnus was already a pretty good toy, this basically adds up to great, but is likely to be overshadowed by later releases. In a repeat of Devastator, the Japanese equivalent has additional tooling, which looks to be an improvement in almost all ways except feet. Whichever version you go for though, this toy nails the robot/truck/base play pattern better than any Optimus we've had for a while, if a bit gappy.

13: Titans Return Fortress Maximus
Perhaps the most interesting retool in this modern age of retools, Fortmax is a remix of 2013's Metroplex, another modern classic. Is he as good? Well it depends. The robot mode certainly looks better, the proportions greatly improved, and the reuse of parts borders on the ingenious. Cerebros is also a high point, overcoming his status as soundbox on legs to the point where some want him separately. And while I want to slap the person whom included the sticker sheet, the metallic foil effect adds a lot to the finished product. On the flipside, the city form is necessarily different from the G1 toy, and there's an almost "Uncanny Valley" feel to things as now undocumented engineering is retained from Metroplex. Odds are, you've already made up your mind on this one, but its got an appeal.

12: Combiner Wars Sky Lynx (Voyager)
I was down on this toy at first, my opinions coloured by questionable quality control and overhype. On balance however, Commander Modesty ends up as the best overall CW torso bot, if lacking for appropriate limbbots. No single mode is a total success, but there is no weak third mode either. The torso mode is heroically proportioned, and makes better use of the jet moulds than Superion does. And let's be real here, Sky Lynx is so utterly bonkers, its impossible not to like him.

11: Titans Return Crashbash (Titanmaster)
An extremely charming little toy, this is a spare head that combines with a wyvern to make an adorable T-Rex. Or what can only be described as a triple barrelled butt cannon. He's a great pocket money toy, all these individual titanmasters are, but this is the one to beat in later waves. Of course, given the number of times this toy has been re-released.....it will probably be in those later waves too.

10: Combiner Wars Shockwave (Legends)
Another toy making this article because I didn't get it until April, Shockers is an ideal representation of the character, and the best thing about the CW Combaticons. Seriously, articulation, appearance, transformation, and play value all tend towards great. When the only change you'd make is the characteristic use of translucent plastic, you know you've got something good. I liked this toy so much, I brought it even after I'd got it 3 times as the Botcon Reflector set.

9: Titans Return Hardhead (Deluxe)
Hardhead is an entirely satisfactory toy, but it has a mouth-plate, unlike basically all fictional depictions of the character. Putting that aside, HH is possibly the best deluxe overall in Titans Return wave 1, and out-performs toys in other size classes too. If you've got an Autobot with two guns and effective articulation, you are half way there with me, but this guy looks great, and he really sells the play pattern.

8: Titans Return Mindwipe (Deluxe)
While all of the wave 2 Titans deluxes are worth a look, Mindwipe is the most interesting and arguably the most functional. This is mainly due to his unique transformation where the legs unfold into bat wings, and the number of daft fan modes that result. He's also well-made in robot form, and I find his accessories to be a surprisingly attractive. A solid performer.

6/7: Titans Return Blaster/Soundwave (Leader)
Ever since Jetfire came along in 2014, the modern leader class has felt a bit of a compromise. Be it gappy plastic, sub-par engineering or a questionable design choice, a good all-rounder had yet to appear. With Blaster, it arrived. While not exceptional in any mode, this toy is consistent and hides its hollowness. Big. Simple. Fun. And Soundwave adds an accessory. Both represent the best versions of their characters outside of Masterpiece, if slightly let down so far by the quality of the chest minions so far.

5: Sins of the Wreckers (Comic series)
I feel really sorry for Nick Roche, because not only was Last Stand of the Wreckers a tough act to follow, not only was MTMTE was reaching a fever pitch at about the same time, the guy suffered a family tragedy while he was working on it, delaying the series. This has unduly marked the reception of Sins, trapping it a cycle of hype, anti-hype, and uncertainty. Its fortunate then that its a honestly excellent work. Personal where Last Stand was bombastic, but no less shocking or political, the plot Sins is something I dare not spoil by explaining it. I will however say that certain characters and scenes you will never forget. However much you may want too......

4: Titans Return Chromedome (Deluxe)
Chromedome was one of those toys that was gonna be a lot of peoples favourite, but also where some collectors were not immediately on board. Along with Rewind he forms the premier MTMTE couple, beloved by Tumblr and almost anyone whom actually reads the comic. But if you hadn't, all Chromedome just looks like is a retool of the excellent if over-used Combiner Wars Dead End. He's not, he's just copying engineering, although he share parts with #17 on this list. All that said, Chromedome ended up a very high quality toy, and was only pushed our of the top 3 by a late addition. This guy is basically Dead End plus Blurr, with an IDW face. He's the Marvel superhero film. He's very familiar, but he's so well put together, the end result is awesome. Chromedome is the new standard for car transformers, having all you could want at the price and no meaningful flaws.

3: Titans Return Triggerhappy (Deluxe)

The first last minute addition to this list, Triggerhappy came out of nowhere to be everyone's darling. While he personally ties into some happy childhood memories, this toy is notable for its very novel transformation, a distinctive jet mode, and satisfying robot mode. Its extremely well-presented too, with numerous effective paint applications, minimal gaps, landing gear, and a dedicated figure stand port for each mode. This all rests atop the Titans Return play pattern, which makes Triggerhappy extremely compelling as a toy. He's the best jetformer we've had in a while, and like Chromedome represents the new standard for such things, whom he ranks above for seemingly being completely new.

2: The Dying of the Light (More Than Meets The Eye Volume 10)
"Season 2" of MTMTE has been subject of a lot of controversy, but this five issue story proved to bean undeniable high note More Than Meets The Eye has always been willing to take risks amongst the character comedy, and its biggest was to make Megatron a regular character, on probation for his innumerable war crimes, and seeking to change his legacy. Against all odds, they pulled it off. Megatron's character gained nuance and complexity that just wasn't there before, and we slowly realised he was sincere. In this story arc, it all came crashing down, as his past caught up with him and people started to die. But it wasn't just about him, as plot threads bubbling away since 2012 came to the fore, and the core cast found itself re-enacting Rorke's Drift. As if we needed reminding, this story proved James Roberts and Alex Milne are names you want on a Transformers comic.

1: Titans Return Six Shot (Leader)

By far the most ambitious toy on this list, Six Shot had a lot riding on him. Transformers with more than 2 distinctive/convincing modes are rare enough on their own, but 6? We hadn't had that since the 2000 Robots in Disguise series with Megatron/Gigatron, the closest thing since being the 4 mode Animated Shockwave. When I saw the pictures, I knew that as long as it didn't break on day one we were looking at a modern classic. Getting it in person revealed some imperfections that confirmed it was made by mortal hands for the mass market, but yes.

Six Shot is possibly the biggest crowd pleaser we've had since Generations Springer.

Perfect? No. He's basically made of friction joints, and I took steps to tighten things immediately. He's entirely in the G1 aesthetic, so his altmodes require “imagination”. There's the whole submarine silliness too, and the guns look a bit weedy. These things do not matter. He does all the original did, modernised with articulation, tabs to interact with base modes, AND a titanmaster whose design is a spectacularly dark in-joke. Play value is off the charts, as is style, and this makes him my #1.

So, I started modelling again.....Part 2: Tankie, Teef, and a Tinboy

What the hell, lets make a series. Not necessarily a weekly thing, I don't create to a rota, but what the hell.

Let's talk about the tankie. I was putting the finishing touches on this when I last posted, and to recap, its a bitz box job, rather a true scratch-build. There are three major components, the resin tracks, a central hull being made from off-brand lego, and a turret from a crappy tank toy. These where then dressed with mix of resin, white metal, plasticard, anything that fit really. I call it "Tankie", as its cute much the same manner as the Metal Slug tank, but its more of an Infantry Fighting Vehicle with the rear door. The project then turned into another rust painting exercise, I like how it came out, but I think I over did the orange. Then again, we've had Mad Max: Fury Road, and that was a bright as a supernova, so why not?

Oh, and I've been practising teeth, with mixed success. I pulled this somewhat badly glued together boy out of the bitz box, and got some new paint. Its not a great job, but at least its game-worthy.

As for other projects, I'm planning to slowly build up to a Stompa/Gorkanaut type/thing. I did make some progress on that, but I dropped it, so its been shelved in 17 different pieces. I plan to come back to it once I've had a bit more practice, or I stop feeling daft. Whichever happens first. For the meantime, in a no doubt shocking turn of events, I'm doing some robots. I am continuing to experiment with painting techniques here.

There's a few more, but they aren't really ready to show yet.

Back soon.

So, I started modelling again.....

OK, as I've mentioned in previous posts, its not been a great year for me. I don't feel I can discuss it here, but its coming to a logical end. Things may be improving finally, but I've needed to get a new hobby to distract myself. As it turned out, an old hobby. I went back to model making, something I've not really done for three years. To provide context, like numerous Nottingham nerds, I was a big fan of Games Workshop games. I played Orkz, still have a quite expansive army, but I went off the hobby. There are various reasons for this, but the main reason was the most recent Ork codex, followed by the head-in-bum stupidity that was their Warhammer reboot. I'm not quite over those things, so I don't think I am gonna be commanding an army in WH40K any time soon. However, after some light toy customisation, I found the process of creation to be very relaxing. So, I rummaged through my still very expansive bits box, and went to town.

Not to sound too much like a prat, but its nice to remember you are good at something.

First off, is the bandit, which I suppose in rules terms would be a Looted Wagon or Rhino. The main hull is a Space Marine Predator, of the hairy-chested Space Wolf chapter, if I recall correctly. While a Predator is a main battle tank, for real life money reasons, its based on the Rhino transport. The turret and guns were long gone, but it was only a matter of filling the holes and bolting on new bits to make into an APC. Several of the new parts, such as that big ram, come from a company called Ramshackle Games. If I post more photos, you'll see more of their stuff. Also had a happy discovery during painting; orange is a great way to do rust.

Smokey here is however pretty much solid Games Workshop. There are fairly modern plastics used here for the head and shoulder pad, but its mostly old school white metal. I'm still experimenting with paints and remembering techniques, so he's not quite done. The armour is painted in the same manner as the tank, more-or-less, but the skin is a “Vallejo Game Color Goblin Green”. That was a little odd to work with, as it basically inks itself as it dries. I need to remember how to do teeth....

Another project I'm working on is “Tankie” here. Its much more a scratchbuild, in that while the tracks are resin, the main body is lego, and the turret is off a cheap tank toy.

More to come, if I feel like it.

A Brief Review Of Doctor Strange

Sorry, I know its been a while.

Well, its a Marvel film, do we need to say any more?

Dum-dee-dum-twiddle-my-thumb.

You can go now.

Oh, we do, sorry.

Right, Doctor Strange is the latest in the generally very consistent Marvel canon, and one of its smaller scale entries, as its an origin story for a single character. Like last year's Ant-Man, its almost a throwback to the “Phase 1” films, and has a fairly light connection to existing plot threads, excluding a mid-credits sequence and a rather notable name drop. This was probably for the best as this film attempts to place hand-wavy magic into a world of soft sci-fi, a tough sell at the best of times. This film however pulls it off, creating utterly beautiful action sequences that feel like lucid dreams. I do want to see this film again in 3D, I feel it would add to the effect, rather than than be a cheap gimmick, which is high praise from me. Its also a generally slick production with a strong cast, and a general feeling of competency. Benedict Cumberbatch is another great casting choice, fitting into the role as well as Robert Downey Jr. did with Tony Stark, and the beard is a massive boost to the man. The remainder of the cast do well with what they have, the narrative progressing in a solid manner for the genre, and there is no obvious weak point in the entire enterprise. 

This however is not quite the same as saying Doctor Strange is a great film in its own right. Something about it didn't click with me. There is where the comparison to Phase 1 comes back. Those were always entertaining films, but I didn't love any of them until the Avengers assembled. Doctor Strange has so much going with respects to its core concept that its almost surprising it works as well as it does. But we are still in a position where the rules of the world still need to be explained, and this undermines the concept of danger. The formula of the Marvel films, or perhaps just the genre at large, also shows through. Doctor Strange doesn't look like any other Marvel film, including Thor, but it has a similar feel in places, and the same sense of humour. You'd be daft to say this film was identical to say Guardians of the Galaxy or Captain America, but you can pick out common themes. If you'd been inclined to sketch out a plot for this film beforehand based on the trailer, you'd probably have got the specifics wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if you got the broad strokes. The ending was a surprise, however. Doctor Strange, while quite trippy could have been a lot stranger, perhaps to its benefit. Then again, to misquote someone, you have to have your feet on the ground, before you can build castles in the sky.

And, you'll forgive me if I don't open the can of worms that was casting Tilda Swanson as the Ancient One. She does a good job, but that's a topic for another day.

All this is however is me attempting to draw a line between the merely good, and the exceptional. Doctor Strange is good, and there's nothing wrong with that. While I don't wish to make comparisons with the distinguished competition, this film certainly handled magic a lot better than Suicide Squad did, and remains infinitely more watchable than some films about superheroes released this year.

The Verdict

Doctor Strange is exactly what it looks like, no more, no less, and that's just fine.

A Review Of Suicide Squad (2016), With Some Spoilers

 Image Copyright Warner Bros. Used under fair use provisions.

In the weeks leading up to its release, Suicide Squad was looking to be a repeat of Bats v Supes. There were repeated reports of trouble behind the scenes, reshoots and reedits, as the trailers went from dour to paint factory explosion. People involved started talking against film reviewers, such as Cara Delevingne whom said not to listen to critics, they don't like superhero films. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 26% at time of writing(1). Some frankly insane fans started a petition to close that website, based mainly on that, before the film was even out. And all the while, the film was trending for a record breaking opening weekend and a sharp drop off. This is all despite an honestly interesting idea, and it being a genre first. Its the dirty dozen, but with super villains. Its DC's answer to Guardians of the Galaxy. But is it any good?

Almost.

Suicide Squad has quite blatantly been tampered with during production, not enough to ruin the experience, but they probably should have left it alone. Its a cake they took out the oven too soon, only for the cook to cut bits off, shove it back in, and cover it all in day-glo icing. There's still enough sugar sprinkles and chocolate chips to salvage the mess, but its not a top tier product. Suicide Squad is not as funny or as colourful as the trailers make it look. You've probably seen all the good jokes already, and I suspect the bad ones to be from the reshoots. Tone is inconsistent, never feeling quite natural, and frequently punctuated with popular pop music. The positives, such as they are, suggest a darker and more elegant Director's Cut. They've basically put LEDs and chrome rims on a hearse with this film, and then painted it pink. Key scenes seem to be missing, replaced with clunky exposition, while character motivations are a mess. Its a hard movie to make an emotional connection with, good or bad, and is therefore unsatisfying. Be it the studio, the editor, or the director, Suicide Squad shares so many flaws with Batman V Superman I don't blame anyone whom was bitterly disappointed by this film.

On a more specific level, I can't work out why Harley Quinn, and by extension The Joker, are in this film. I mean, obviously, they are there to draw in fans, but narratively it makes no sense. Harley is just a mortal woman with a baseball bat and a mental illness in this world, and yet she's on a team with a professional assassin, a man whom controls fire, and a sorceress. There's nothing she does the other squaddies don't do, and is an absolute liability at all times, so there's no narrative reason for her to be there(2). If this film had been about an attempt to capture The Joker or similar, then, yeah, she'd be on the team, but this isn't what the plot is. I'd also like to make the surprising, and somewhat worrying, complaint that they seem to have romanticised the relationship between the two. Something that was explicit in the cartoons that created her was that Harley was in an abusive relationship, her affection being largely one-sided and taken advantage of frequently. She is a battered wife, and therefore both sympathetic and somewhat blameless for her part in The Joker's horrific crimes. In this film, their relationship is much more even, and she ends up being much less likeable as a result. And to be honest, the scenes with both could have been excised from the film with little effect. This film is so fundamentally confused about its own existence, that Harley, or for that matter, everyone, lacks a coherent arc. The inevitable world building scenes are also a problem, Batman showing the same disregard for his secret identity as he does in the Justice League trailer.

Does Suicide Squad get anything right? Well, while its clearly not the single vision it should be, the film does end up being the better of DC's films this year, not that this is strictly saying much. Having little prior investment in a majority of the cast, I was less immediately hostile to their depictions than Zack Synder's wrong-headed approach to Superman. I also found Jared Leto's Joker to be less immediately irritating than initial reports suggested. Certain characters, like Viola Davis as Amanda Waller and Will Smith as Will Smith(3) honestly do shine. Margot Robbie is a star in the making. And throughout, there's the sense that there was a better movie in there, somewhere. Its a confused film, but unlike Synder's work, its more interesting than aggressively stupid.

The Verdict

Suicide Squad is not overtly terrible, but its close. Its also a fair distance from being good. There are many basic story telling flaws present, and while the film is interesting enough to distract from this, its not something that's going to do well in repeat viewing. If you are a diehard DC fan, you'll find something to like, but don't be daft and start criticising the critics. Its good for one watch, and maybe a Director's Cut. But it ain't Guardians of the Galaxy.

Foot notes

1. Which means 26% of reviewers gave it a positive review, BTW. Not that it scored 26 out of 100.
2. You can make similar arguments about Captain Boomerang, but he's an original member of the team from the comics, and a world-class bank robber. He's got as much reason to be there as anyone.
3. Not a typo.
   
   

Opinion Piece: My Opinions Of The Batman. Again.

Right, I said I'd do some effing opinion pieces, didn't I? Well, I struggled a bit, given my new business demanding a lot of my time, and disqualifying some 90% of my ideas on grounds of potential bias. But sometimes, you get that spark of inspiration, and the need to do something else with your brain. So, here's a ramble about why I think Batman really needs to take a back-seat in Warner Bros attempt to make a cinematic universe, and will hopefully finally express my mixed feelings on the character.

Image Copyright Warner Brothers etc.

The thing about Batman at this point is that he's undemanding in terms of SFX, and you've got a bounty of material to draw on. He's easy. While Bats does fight alien ghosts of a Tuesday, he's basically on the level of James Bond. He's a gadget guy, prefers not to be shot, doesn't use guns because of his origins, and most of his foes are of that nature. He's a rich dude whom trains his mind and body like a champion. Depicting him in live action is only as difficult as you want it to be, whereas characters with actual Super Powers, especially the weird looking ones, only really became possible with CG(1). Narratively, he's also easy to get behind, being the archetypical grim and gritty superhero. Even before Frank Miller and Alan Moore took a swing at him, Batman was a guy whose parents were murdered in front of him as a child, and overcame unimaginable loss to start a quest to end crime, but decides not to take human life for fearing of becoming what he hates. He's just enough of an everyman to be easily empathised with, flexible with tone, and the psychological aspects are endlessly fascinating. Furthermore, the character has arguably the best selection of colourful villains, many being evil counterparts or reflections of Batman's personality. Its the best possible material to adapt. It resulted in arguably the greatest cartoon series of the 90's. The most memorable TV series of the 60's. Some spectacular video games. And two genre defining films by Chrisopher Nolan. If you've ever been anywhere near the Superhero genre, you know this, I do not have to explain further. This foundation is so strong that people say Ben Affleck is the best bit of Batman V Superman, despite the myriad flaws and troubling characterisation associated with that film.

Like the guns and vehicular homicide, but more on that shortly.

Batman however has some problems, ones which mark the DC universe and the expectations of viewers. The simple truth is that not all characters are Batman. Especially the grimdark version Frank Miller codified, and a large subset of comics fans tend to hold in high regard. Not every superhero works the same way, or operates in the same context, but yet WB and many others treat the character as the gold standard of the genre when it comes to live action adaptations. This is kinda daft. you get a homogenisation of the genre, where a bunch of wannabees end up imitating the wrong things. See the comic book industry in the 90's, or what happened to anime after Neon Genesis Evangelion came out.

Its for this reason why Arrow isn't called Green Arrow. Why Man of Steel was essentially Superman Begins, via Zack Synder. Why Bats V Supes took its inspiration from the Dark Knight Returns. And why we have a TV series that's basically about Batman before he was famous, even though there's no obvious narrative there, and it presents all the problems of a prequel. This is also why, I think, the Marvel films get stick for their lighter tone and lack of memorable villains. Yes, the latter complaint is reasonable(2), but the first bit isn't. Marvel has shown another way of doing things, where antagonists are obstacles to be defeated, not more important than the lead characters. There is an ingrained mindset that these things should be serious, one that is slowly breaking down, but not fast enough to avoid hobbling the new DC film series out of the gate. Warner Bros in recent years has only really managed to produce Batman films, or films that fit into a similar Venn Diagram. They haven't been able to do Superheroes that don't fit that template, and even then, the Batman movies are patchy. They've basically got it into their heads that the dark and gritty is the only way to go, something a lot of fans encouraged, its difficult for them to change tracks now(3). It will be interesting to see how Suicide Squad works out, with the rumours of comedic re-shoots and increasingly technicolour advertising. But, then again, Bats is in that too.

I thought there was a “no jokes" policy.

Then there's the whole “unfortunate implications” business. Going by recent films alone, it would be easy to view Batman as a mentally unbalanced billionaire whom uses his money to beat up the under-privileged, as opposed to spending on Police and Social Programs. A violent power fantasy bordering on Fascistic, excused by a childhood tragedy. The character's origins as detective whom eschews guns on principle, gets lost in translation. This is what happens when you repeatedly invoke “darkness” and “realism” on a character whom dresses like a rodent to fight a murder clown. You can only push it so far before the whole edifice comes crashing down. Yes, this is a train of thought that utterly defeats the point of the guy, and can be contradicted by citing specific comics and scenes, but its an argument that can be made(4). The Dark Knight, for example, is probably still in my top 5 Superhero films, but you do find a certain Right Wing circa Dubya Bush feel to events. This is a film where the hero flies into another country, does an “Extraordinary Rendition”, beats up a guy in a Police interrogation, and hacks every phone in Gotham in an attempt to find a single person, although he does step back from that. This looks more dirty than heroic, if you are of that mind. You can say I'm reading too much into it, and maybe. But then again, the Ben Affleck version is even worse, a multiple murderer whom brands criminals, humanity and reason apparently absent. He's just a lump of brutality, deciding to eliminate Superman for reasons that can only be described as hypocritical. And don't forget, the 1989 Batman was pretty killy too.

Pretty deliberate attempt at murder there.

What I'm trying to say here is we don't need another Batman film. At least not without a pretty comprehensive reworking. The realism angle has been drained dry, and the direction Synder took was unpleasant. And while I will always enjoy The Animated Series, the best thing for the character and for DC, is just put him in the background for a while.

Footnotes

1. Yes, Superman did a good job in 1978ish, but that was at the upper limit of practicality and money at the time. Note how long it was between that film and Spider-Man.
2. That said, DC cinematic villains stopped being good circa 2012. Note I said 2 Nolan films.
3. Although, Batman: The Brave & The Bold does exist.
4. Like how Indiana Jones was unnecessary in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The Nottingham Robot Company Has a Facebook

Hi there loyal readers. My apologies for the general lack of updates. This is of course due to my new business venture, and a family matter, both of which demanding more time than I ever expect. Things probably aren't going to get better on these fronts any time soon, but I'm going to try to knock out an opinion piece or two by the end of the month.


In the meantime, The Nottingham Robot Company has a facebook page, please take a look if this interests you.

Thanks.

A Review Of Deadpool(2016), On Blu-ray, Some Spoilers

Near my home

Deadpool is a movie Fox didn't want to make. It was gonna have a high rating, "R" in the American system, when Holywood logic said such things were unpopular. Furthermore, the character was intimately associated with the disaster that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine, although the titualar Deadpool had been changed almost beyond recognition. The actor whom played him, Ryan Reynolds, was a comics fan, and clearly wasn't happy about it, as he spent the following years pushing for a more faithful adaptation. Things had to have taken a personal angle for him, as he starred in the similarly terrible Green Lantern. He must have felt some need to atone, reclaim his nerd pride. Eventually, test footage was leaked, with Reynolds making vague implications he did it, and the resulting cheers got it green lit. Then its budget got cut just before filming. Then it made some massive gross ticket sales. It actually. took more than Man of Steel, a Superman film. The original and most recognisable Superhero. The year isn't over yet, but at the time of writing it hovers around #3 of the American cinema rankings, with similar performance worldwide. And this is fully deserved.

Because Deadpool is, in a very specific way, the best X-Men film.


Now, I made this assertion to some friends, and it was a bit controversial. There are good X-Men films, although the ratio of good to bad is not a favourable one. The films certainly deserve credit for addressing prejudice and oppression, and this film is closer to top tier episode of Family Guy(1) than social commentary. Deadpool however succeeds in completely and utterly capturing the spirit and tone of the source material, juvenile as it is. The other X-Men films, especially the Brian Singer ones, tend to feel a step removed and samey, standard Hollywood. Be it superficial stuff like costumes, or bigger stuff like the Sentinels, the X-Men films have never quite embraced the quirks of the comics. This film does does. In fact its probably the most effective Marvel adaptation which Kevin Feige didn't have a hand in. Deadpool is, as near as it makes no difference, the comic book version. He's a hideous mercenary specialising in endless chatter and inventive obscenities. He's a fighter, whose resistance to injury allows for slapstick violence that would make the late great Rik Mayall proud. And he knows you are watching, that this film breaks the X-Men format, and the actor playing him has a few troubled productions on his IMDB page. They famously CG his mask to give it facial expressions. This personality shines like a beacon, and played into the masterful marketing for this film, a majority of which is happily on the disk. But does that make it an actually good film? Let's watch the uncensored trailer again.

Here be swears, BTW.

If any of that made you laugh, you will like the film. Its very good at what it does, and no, those aren't all the good jokes. The film is consistently funny, often taking a scattergun approach, and quite happy shift comedic tones in an instant. As a character, Deadpool as the potential to be as irritating to us as he is to the supporting cast, but much has been done to balance him out. For a start, as this basically is an origin story, we spend a lot of time with the pre-pool-less-violent-but-still-chatty Wade Wilson and his lovely love interest Vannessa, played by Firefly actress Morena Baccarin(2). The chemistry between the two is fantastic, as she isn't the serious girlfriend, she's almost as daft as he is. Both have a lot of pain in their lives, and basically the same sense of humour. And she does not take her eventual role as damsel lying down, so a thumbs up there. The other characters vary between functional and good. I do like Colossus as the straight-man Vanessa isn't, and as a thematic contrast to Deadpool. TJ Miller's performance as Weasel should be completely superfluous, he's a comic relief character in a film where the lead character tells more jokes in one scene than Jack Synder's entire career, but makes an impression with a few very memorable lines. Negasonic Teenage Warhead has a very cool name, and a pleasing antipathy to Deadpool. The villains of the piece, “Ajax” and Angel Dust, aren't quite as memorable, if competent in their roles, and this leads to possibly the film's main problem.

In my place of work....

When you get right down to it, Deadpool the film isn't too dissimilar to the X-Men and 2000's superhero flicks it periodically mocks. Action scenes are relatively few, take place in some fairly generic locales, and are perhaps pedestrian when compared to some of the stuff we've had this year. Its an origin story mixed with a revenge story, and is fairly conventional when viewed that way. Its doesn't really reach for anything difficult, its more about being funny instead. Yes, the film plays cancer and the resultant human experimentation scenes pretty serious, but its not really what the film is about. You don't necessarily notice this as an issue because A) it is very funny, B) that really should be enough, and C) the film jumps around its timeline. It makes the film seem slightly cleverer than it actually is, and I would say suffers slightly in repeat viewings through this. That, and the jokes getting old, of course.

The Verdict

You need to have the right sense of humour to enjoy Deadpool, but its seems there's no shortage of it lately. Fans of the character can rejoice in that they got it right. Fans of superhero films will have a good time. People whom think that superheroes need a little bit of ego deflation will probably enjoy it, although its not a satire of the genre. People whom feel superheroes should be serious need not apply, however. Not a perfect film, and maybe we won't remember it in 18 months. The best superhero comedy remains Kick-Ass, and its not quite a match for Guardians of the Galaxy, but Deadpool is just what we all needed.

Foot notes

1. A.K.A an actually funny one. Possibly involving the Chicken.
2. There is similarity in the two roles, but I'd say she was enjoying this role a bit more.

It Been A Bad Week For News

I don't really have anything useful to add to the discussion, so here's Adam Hill.

A Belated Review Of X-Men: Apocalypse, With Many Spoilers

I'm by no means the first to point this out, but the 16 year old X-Men saga is a bit weird. I mean, some of its good, some of its terrible. Its technically Marvel, but its not proper Marvel. Some of its really important to the genre, but also a lot has been made obsolete by the MCU and Christopher Nolan. There's some good drama and big issues, but the drama can often misfire, its often reliant on Magneto being the villain in some way, and the adaptations aren't always that close. Multiple mutants get crammed in, often only because of their powers, with their personalities and back stories ignored. Comic accuracy is not something they really do, but they've been getting better lately. And there's this kind of period drama, nostalgia for its own early instalments, type thing going on. Before it was near future sci-fi, now its more alternate history via continuity ruining time travel and soft reboots. Its probably best described as mediocre, and contract driven. Fox has to keep making these periodically, lest the rights default to their original owner, a competitor, and the X-Men are popular enough to keep the films profitable. Merit isn't a factor in the process any more. That said, Days Of Future Past worked better than it should have, and Deadpool is a highlight of 2016(1). Where does Apocalypse sit? Well, its a film in the mediocre category. There's a few strengths, some really head-scratching problems, but a lot of it just ends up being so dull my reaction is of apathy. At least until I started writing this.

To demonstrate my point, let me describe Magneto's big scene in this film. He's married and has had a daughter in the otherwise inexplicable decade since the last film. He's in hiding, but happy. We know what happens next. The creative types behind this film aren't gonna let him be happy. Even with the timeline being thoroughly messed up, Magneto, AKA Erik Lehnsherr, has to be the mutant terrorist. So, these characters are going to be sacrificed in the name of drama. So, Magneto accidentally reveals himself at the steel mill where he works, saving a man's life via magnetism. Why Magneto chose to work at a place where he could so easily use his powers by accident is unclear, maybe he wanted weapons to hand, but it was the noble thing to do. The Police come for him, and show enough genre awareness to leave the metal things at home, and he agrees to go quietly. Unfortunately, his daughter manifests her own mutant powers, and in the confusion, daughter and wife die. Fassbender acts his arse off, completely selling the anguish of a man whom has seen those he cares about murdered in front of him once again. He then slaughters the policemen with the only metal nearby, the locket containing a picture of his parents. It almost works, the scene, but then two realisations hit. The first is that you scarcely remember anything about Magneto's family, not even their names in my case. The second thing is that, somehow, a metal-free arrow fired by accident from a short bow killed two people. Instantly, with hardly a sound or blood.


Not to trivialise the death of a mother and child, but that's a Hawkeye/Arrow level of skill there.


And this is it right, pretty much the whole damn movie. I should care for the characters, or I should be angry they messed it up, but I don't. Its got some heavy weight stuff, or something potentially awesome, but then something happens to negate the effect, and its really noticeable in the second half. To continue on with Magneto, there's a scene where Apocalypse tries to recruit him. The pitch? To take him to Auschwitz, the Nazi death camp of reality, and the place where Magneto's parents died. Horrific stuff, which needs handling with care. Here Apocalypse seeks to convince the grieving mutant of the need to wipe the world clean, encouraging Magneto to rip the foundations out, while boosting his abilities. Throughout all this, all of it, the Horsemen loiter in their costumes like lost LARPers, and Psylocke in particular probably showing far too much skin for the occasion(2). The contrast between the characters, in their silly clothes, and what the scene is about is too sharp. Apocalypse himself has been ice for millennia, he's got a good excuse for any social faux pas, but his horsemen should know better. Were black cloaks not available? Did they not mention it to him? Did nobody think of this? Its a little tone deaf, isn't it?

Tone deaf isn't a bad way to describe the flaws here, especially when logic in general starts to fail. There's a scene where Professor X touches Apocalypse's mind and gets "hacked", Apocalypse using the link to launch every nuclear missile from its silo. Its an honestly tense moment, this dude is called Apocalypse, and he seems to have lived up to his name a whole act early. But then you realise not only is he firing them into space, completely against his objective, and they choose this point to do the Stan Lee cameo. Apocalypse instead uses Magneto to rip the metal from all the world, an act less radioactive, but no less destructive given that most of it came out of buildings. Erik easily killed millions, possibly hundreds of millions. Does anyone discuss this? No. His punishment? Nothing. He comes to his senses, fights Apocalypse, and gets credited as the hero of the hour. Insert your own comparison to Civil War and/or Batman V Superman here. I see what they are aiming for, but in ignoring these consequences, any deeper meaning of the film is diminished.

Also, given the plot of the last film, shouldn't the Sentinel Program be approved after all this? I mean, the world's nuclear arsenal got fired into space. Just a thought.


The film also suffers from the "Wolverine Detour", a chunk of the film that adds nothing to the plot bar fan service and a plot hole. Basically, the protagonists get captured by Colonel/Major Stryker, whom has been experimenting on Wolverine. They let Logan out, he kills a bunch of people, runs into the woods, and then the plot continues. This could have been excised completely from the film, and you would have lost nothing. In fact, it actually makes the post-credit scene less interesting as it spoils the surprise. Yes, you could argue Spider-Man was unnecessary in Civil War, but at least he didn't bring a continuity error. You see, Stryker didn't take Wolverine at the end of the last film, Mystique disguised as Stryker did. So what happened there? Wasn't it implied she had plans for him? Is this not a mistake? Mystique in this film seems to be written to reflect Jennifer Lawrence's role as Katniss from the Hunger Games and an Oscar winner. She's intended to be inspirational and heroic, but not the manipulator and assassin she should be. Her part in things could have been easily filled by any other character, and she's hardly ever blue, seemingly forgetting her mutant pride. Of course, having her be involved with the highly unethical Weapon X program would have greatly undermined her position as a Che Guevara, so I assume some form of studio politics and/or basic incompetence at play. Clearly, they hoped this would go unnoticed, or hand-waved it as being a decade later, but we know why the scene is here. Its to add to ticket sales by added Logan to the mix, not because the story needs it.

The young X-Men? Erm, OK, I guess. They do pass muster as teenage versions of those characters depicted in the first two Singer films. If you consider those depictions to good ones, this is a plus, but the film is a bit bloated, and not all characters really get due screentime or have a memorable moment. We also have to ask if their inclusion has more to do with nostalgia and a vague attempt to maintain continuity, rather than them having something notably important to do? Cyclops comes off well, but Jean Grey is back to set up the Dark Phoenix Saga again. I seriously hope that this is not the case, and that this is just another example of misused plot elements form the comics, because the films are samey enough without them trying to remake their worst instalment. Either go to space, or go back to the drawing board. Apocalypse himself? Nothing to him, but you'll excuse me if I bring this to a close.....


The Verdict
I should be listing some positives here, I know, but I' don't remember many. At best, its acceptable. At worst its kind of dumb, and borderline offensive if you like the actual X-Men comics. But mostly, its just there. Its not even bad enough for too hate. Seriously folks, its barely worth seeing once, let alone twice. Go watch the 90's cartoon again, I'm sure it on Netflix or similar.

Images copyright of Fox, used under fair use provisions.

Foot notes

1. A review of that follows shortly.
2. Aside from being hired muscle, all Psylocke really does is walk around in comic accurate fetish outfit. A missed opportunity.

NEWS: Introducing My New Project: The Nottingham Robot Company

Right, lets talk about this side project I was talking about. Its taken a while, as I slowly crawl to my objective, but the first step has been made. I now sell toys on the internet. My hobby is now an attempt at a profession.

Now, lets answer some questions.

What do you sell?

Transformers. As you might expect. Maybe other stuff by the time you read this. Or less.

Where do you sell these toys?

On eBay, see here.

You don't seem to have much, do you?

First off, thanks for looking. Second: hey, baby steps. Baby steps. Got a lot on order.

Are you going beyond being an eBay trader?

That's the plan. Just now, I'm doing what I can between shifts, so its taking time.

What does this mean for this blog?

In the short term? A hiatus. I started this blog to fill free time, and despite my early optimism, I have less of that. This is on top of the family matter, too.

So, after the hiatus?

If I sell Transformers, I feel I can't really review Transformers any more. The potential for bias, or accusations thereof, is not something I want. So, I'm going to rework the blog away from such things into more general discussions.

What happens to the existing reviews?

The internet forgets nothing, so as they are up, they stay up. I stand by my previous work though.

When will you post here again?

I'm not doing a regular schedule, but maybe in a month, all being well.

Thanks to all my readers, hope to see you all back with a new format soon.

A Concise Review of Generations Tankor In 500 Words Or Less

Pricepoint/Vintage: Deluxe, 2014.

Modes: Robot and Cybertronian Tank.

Transformation Style: Unique, lay down.

Play Patterns: Robot and tank, C Clip weaponry, pressure missile, spinning saws, a pack-in comic in the USA.

Points of Interest: A rare modernisation of a character from the then-controversial Beast Machines series.

The Good
Tankor has an almost perfect resemblance to the animation model in robot mode, and strikes an imposing silhouette. All the elements are there, spinning buzzsaws, opening claws, and an impressive shoulder cannon. Total joint count is 21, best in the arms due to a non-humanoid design, but extremely characterful. Switching to tank mode is simple, and the weapon is C rung based, granting some additional play value.

 

The Bad
This is one of those toys whom is probably in the wrong size class, many feeling the character would have been better served as voyager rather than a stumpy deluxe. As he stands, Tankor suffers from some very notable hollows in both modes, wheels that don't roll well, and a left leg that likes to separate at the thigh during transformation. There is also some misapplied paint on mine, while some examples have two left arms, preventing transformation, and the comic has its pages out of order too.

The Mediocre
Fidelity to the animation is much lower in tank form, and if you aren't familiar with Beast Machines, the Visible Head Syndrome will be a negative. There's been no attempt to work in 5mm functionality, not that he ever really had accessories in the show, and the implementation of the buzzsaws leaves them fixed to the forearms.

 

The Alternatives
Most of the alternatives to Tankor require you to go back to the original Beast Machines moulds, circa 2000. These vary significantly in price, likeness, and size, but the tiny Tank Drone toy is well-regarded. Be warned however that chrome, translucent plastic and balljoints were very common, and its been 16 or so years. If all you want is a big and brutal looking military vehicle though, consider Generations Warpath or Darkmount of a few years earlier.

 

The Verdict
Going by a checklist, Tankor just isn't very good. He needed a few less gaps, and a bit more functionality. If you are on-board with the marmite style, like me, the robot mode more than compensates. Tankor is probably the most unique Transformer of the past five years, but that's not necessarily the same thing as being great. If it is to you, or you're a Beast Machines fan, rejoice, he's quite cheap on the secondary market. But for everyone else, you can skip him.

A Concise Review of Combiner Wars Sky Lynx (And Sky Reign) In 500 Words Or Less

Pricepoint/Vintage: Voyager, 2016.

Modes: Dinobird, Shuttle, Combiner Torso.

Transformation Style: CW voyager, beastformer.

Play Patterns: Beast and vehicle, combiner, 5mm weaponry.

Points of Interest: A newly combining modernisation of the 1986 original. No partner legend toy. THIS EXISTS.

 

The Good
His dinobird mode has 26 joints, 4 in the neck and head, making him very expressive. He can't wield his weapons in the normal sense, but there 5mm ports on the wings, and dedicated tabs for tail storage. His shuttle mode captures the G1 toy, with a sci-fi spin. The torso mode is both distinctive and attractive, its lynx head, colours and chest granting much character. For this review, I've been forced to use a few stand-ins, but Sky Reign impresses, not least due to his combined sword weapon. He looks good in all three modes, and the play value is there, and boy, does he stand out on the shelf because he's so weird. Also, he's vaguely adorable.

 

The Bad
Sky Lynx has been the subject of repeated reports of loose joints, my example being effected. The back feet don't always hold a position, and the major ratchets are too soft. This is problematic in the combined form, not least because the shoulder assemblies don't lock in place. Its not as bad as a problem as say a first run of Motor Master, but it is an issue. Less subjectively, there's a few too many gaps here, and the lynx head isn't properly hidden.

 

The Mediocre
Due to his reduced size and combiner role, Sky Lynx has lost some modes, but you can fudge a lynx form. The lack of a true robot form will bother some, and I personally prefer to transform the torso mode differently from the instructions. The shuttle mode arguably does a better job than the CW Aerialbot moulds at concealing the robot forms, as while there's stuff under the wing, its not obviously limbs, and its meant to be there.

The Alternatives
Commander Modesty is so hugely odd that no directly comparable options exist other than the G1 toy. There's incoming release of the Liokaiser set which we know includes a repaint of this, but little else. This leaves almost any CW voyager, but none of those are beasts.

 

The Verdict
Sky Lynx benefits immensely from being completely unlike the rest of Combiner Wars, both visually and in play, while retaining most of the strengths. This is another one of those toys nobody expected, a welcome break from the monotony of the line, and has much to enjoy. However, the loose joints took the shine off things for me. This is not a consistent flaw, and one I intend to fix, but I would be remiss as reviewer to not mention it. Its also a marmite concept that suffers from having to combine with a load of repaints. Definitely good, but not mandatory.