A Review of Logan (2017), With Many Spoilers

Logan represents the latest instalment in Fox's long running X-Men franchise. Using Marvel characters, while not actually being part of the MCU, this franchise can be best described as patchy. Most are OK, some have aged poorly, several are dire, but with the notable exception of Deadpool, they've yet to completely nail it. One thing they did however get right first time was Logan A.K.A Wolverine A.K.A James Howlett, A.K.A Mutant McStabbyhands, the antisocial berserker of an ensemble cast. Logan the character is probably only just below Batman in terms of recognisability, but most of the films about him are meh at best. Logan the film, what we are talking about today, exists mainly because actor Hugh Jackman wishes to retire from the role after sixteen odd years. And fortunately, it isn't meh. In fact, its probably gonna be on a lot of people's shortlists for best Superhero film, 2017.

The main reason is its conceit. This film has an unusually bleak premise with subtle themes of dystopia, which honestly put me in mind of one of those non-canon/elseworlds/what-if stories. Its NOT directly based on the Old Man Logan comic series, with the only real similarity being Logan happening to be an old man in a crappy world. Mutants are dying out, not at the hands of killer robots, but due to the mysterious lack of mutant births. The X-Men are gone, with seemingly the only survivors being Wolverine, and Professor X A.K.A Charles. Neither is ageing well, with Charles having a brain disease and Wolverine working as chauffeur to support both of them, now needing glasses to read. Into this comes Laura A.K.A X-23 a new mutant of about 10, and a team of cyborg mercenaries chasing her. With extreme reluctance, and the promise of money, Wolverine drives her to safety. Unfortunately for him, and those he must protect, Wolverine is dying, his mutant healing factor all but spent. He does not survive the trip, and at one point discusses suicide.


As I say, bleak. Wolverine, the embodiment of male bloodlust and endurance, hobbles around covered in scars, drinking his regrets, and finding even his claws are failing him. But more than that is the sense of regret. The X-Men failed. Mutants look to be going out not with a bang, but with a whimper. Professor X is not only in mad grampa territory, but did something Wolverine won't discuss. And Wolverine himself has killed more men than cancer, and has nothing to show for it than guilt and a broken body held together with painkillers and booze. The world they live in is not overtly hostile, but one of faded glory, run-down tourist traps, and corporations. With the film having scenes in Mexico, its easy to draw comparisons with Trump's America, but that's not the point. The point is legacy, as evidenced by the X-Men comics Laura adores, but Wolverine decries as false. And blood. Lots of blood, and how it marks a person. Logan invokes the classic Western Shane, both featuring scenes and dialogue from it to hammer home this point. And the result is a powerful drama that owes more to the Western genre than superheroes, with some unapologetically brutal fight scenes. And make no mistake, this isn't the “GRIMDARK” or “edgy neon” favoured by the DC stable so far. This bleakness is earned, not an affectation.  

That said, Logan's flaws manifest in the third act, where some time-honoured superhero cliches, and Fox's general incompetence, come home to roost. One of the monsters chasing Laura which Wolverine must defeat, proves to be an evil clone of himself in black, something so chronically unimaginative as to ruin my first viewing. While not without symbolic meaning, its symbolism wielded like a cosh, and feels much dumber than everything before it. A better way? Make it someone more intimately involved with Wolverine, such as his male offspring Daken, or Sabretooth. You add lots more drama that way, this just feels like a cost saving. On a similar note, the fate of mutant kind and the machinations of Xander Rice feel as trite as any previous X-Men film that tried similar. Perhaps these plot elements should have been left unexplained. Then there's the matter of basic continuity, which is broken in ways both big and small. This is best evidenced by the casting of Stephen Merchant as Caliban, but this character was also played by Tómas Lemarquis last year in Apocalypse, and while not to diminish either actor, the performances are also incompatible with each-other. It seems nobody at Fox realised the character was in both films, which is face-to-palm stupid. The film does not match up with Days of Future Past either, with neither timeline fitting this narrative.Given that this movie is sold on Jackman's retirement following an unusually long tenure, that lack of continuity is shameful. While these errors are easily ignored in the experience of watching, this contracts sharply with the care taken with characterisation and direction. Paradoxically, its best viewed as a separate entity from the previous films, while being reliant on the broad strokes for most of its impact.

While all of the above disqualifies from true greatness, Logan is undoubtedly the best of the "serious" X-Men films. Part of this undoubtedly is a matter of timing and context. We've finally got Wolverine in a film with an age rating that fits, at a time there's a market for darker Superhero films. So, yes, if you wanted to see Wolverine in a production where the studio allowed for buckets of blood, it does that. What makes the film worth watching is the characterisation work, admittedly benefiting from Jackman's career choices, but let's not diminish the talent on display. Jackman, Stewart and Dafne Keen all own their roles. The narrative, despite nitpicks, works fabulously.

Its a good film. Fox might finally be getting their act together.

Image Copyright Fox, used under fair use provisions.

A Belated Review Of X-Men: Apocalypse, With Many Spoilers

I'm by no means the first to point this out, but the 16 year old X-Men saga is a bit weird. I mean, some of its good, some of its terrible. Its technically Marvel, but its not proper Marvel. Some of its really important to the genre, but also a lot has been made obsolete by the MCU and Christopher Nolan. There's some good drama and big issues, but the drama can often misfire, its often reliant on Magneto being the villain in some way, and the adaptations aren't always that close. Multiple mutants get crammed in, often only because of their powers, with their personalities and back stories ignored. Comic accuracy is not something they really do, but they've been getting better lately. And there's this kind of period drama, nostalgia for its own early instalments, type thing going on. Before it was near future sci-fi, now its more alternate history via continuity ruining time travel and soft reboots. Its probably best described as mediocre, and contract driven. Fox has to keep making these periodically, lest the rights default to their original owner, a competitor, and the X-Men are popular enough to keep the films profitable. Merit isn't a factor in the process any more. That said, Days Of Future Past worked better than it should have, and Deadpool is a highlight of 2016(1). Where does Apocalypse sit? Well, its a film in the mediocre category. There's a few strengths, some really head-scratching problems, but a lot of it just ends up being so dull my reaction is of apathy. At least until I started writing this.

To demonstrate my point, let me describe Magneto's big scene in this film. He's married and has had a daughter in the otherwise inexplicable decade since the last film. He's in hiding, but happy. We know what happens next. The creative types behind this film aren't gonna let him be happy. Even with the timeline being thoroughly messed up, Magneto, AKA Erik Lehnsherr, has to be the mutant terrorist. So, these characters are going to be sacrificed in the name of drama. So, Magneto accidentally reveals himself at the steel mill where he works, saving a man's life via magnetism. Why Magneto chose to work at a place where he could so easily use his powers by accident is unclear, maybe he wanted weapons to hand, but it was the noble thing to do. The Police come for him, and show enough genre awareness to leave the metal things at home, and he agrees to go quietly. Unfortunately, his daughter manifests her own mutant powers, and in the confusion, daughter and wife die. Fassbender acts his arse off, completely selling the anguish of a man whom has seen those he cares about murdered in front of him once again. He then slaughters the policemen with the only metal nearby, the locket containing a picture of his parents. It almost works, the scene, but then two realisations hit. The first is that you scarcely remember anything about Magneto's family, not even their names in my case. The second thing is that, somehow, a metal-free arrow fired by accident from a short bow killed two people. Instantly, with hardly a sound or blood.


Not to trivialise the death of a mother and child, but that's a Hawkeye/Arrow level of skill there.


And this is it right, pretty much the whole damn movie. I should care for the characters, or I should be angry they messed it up, but I don't. Its got some heavy weight stuff, or something potentially awesome, but then something happens to negate the effect, and its really noticeable in the second half. To continue on with Magneto, there's a scene where Apocalypse tries to recruit him. The pitch? To take him to Auschwitz, the Nazi death camp of reality, and the place where Magneto's parents died. Horrific stuff, which needs handling with care. Here Apocalypse seeks to convince the grieving mutant of the need to wipe the world clean, encouraging Magneto to rip the foundations out, while boosting his abilities. Throughout all this, all of it, the Horsemen loiter in their costumes like lost LARPers, and Psylocke in particular probably showing far too much skin for the occasion(2). The contrast between the characters, in their silly clothes, and what the scene is about is too sharp. Apocalypse himself has been ice for millennia, he's got a good excuse for any social faux pas, but his horsemen should know better. Were black cloaks not available? Did they not mention it to him? Did nobody think of this? Its a little tone deaf, isn't it?

Tone deaf isn't a bad way to describe the flaws here, especially when logic in general starts to fail. There's a scene where Professor X touches Apocalypse's mind and gets "hacked", Apocalypse using the link to launch every nuclear missile from its silo. Its an honestly tense moment, this dude is called Apocalypse, and he seems to have lived up to his name a whole act early. But then you realise not only is he firing them into space, completely against his objective, and they choose this point to do the Stan Lee cameo. Apocalypse instead uses Magneto to rip the metal from all the world, an act less radioactive, but no less destructive given that most of it came out of buildings. Erik easily killed millions, possibly hundreds of millions. Does anyone discuss this? No. His punishment? Nothing. He comes to his senses, fights Apocalypse, and gets credited as the hero of the hour. Insert your own comparison to Civil War and/or Batman V Superman here. I see what they are aiming for, but in ignoring these consequences, any deeper meaning of the film is diminished.

Also, given the plot of the last film, shouldn't the Sentinel Program be approved after all this? I mean, the world's nuclear arsenal got fired into space. Just a thought.


The film also suffers from the "Wolverine Detour", a chunk of the film that adds nothing to the plot bar fan service and a plot hole. Basically, the protagonists get captured by Colonel/Major Stryker, whom has been experimenting on Wolverine. They let Logan out, he kills a bunch of people, runs into the woods, and then the plot continues. This could have been excised completely from the film, and you would have lost nothing. In fact, it actually makes the post-credit scene less interesting as it spoils the surprise. Yes, you could argue Spider-Man was unnecessary in Civil War, but at least he didn't bring a continuity error. You see, Stryker didn't take Wolverine at the end of the last film, Mystique disguised as Stryker did. So what happened there? Wasn't it implied she had plans for him? Is this not a mistake? Mystique in this film seems to be written to reflect Jennifer Lawrence's role as Katniss from the Hunger Games and an Oscar winner. She's intended to be inspirational and heroic, but not the manipulator and assassin she should be. Her part in things could have been easily filled by any other character, and she's hardly ever blue, seemingly forgetting her mutant pride. Of course, having her be involved with the highly unethical Weapon X program would have greatly undermined her position as a Che Guevara, so I assume some form of studio politics and/or basic incompetence at play. Clearly, they hoped this would go unnoticed, or hand-waved it as being a decade later, but we know why the scene is here. Its to add to ticket sales by added Logan to the mix, not because the story needs it.

The young X-Men? Erm, OK, I guess. They do pass muster as teenage versions of those characters depicted in the first two Singer films. If you consider those depictions to good ones, this is a plus, but the film is a bit bloated, and not all characters really get due screentime or have a memorable moment. We also have to ask if their inclusion has more to do with nostalgia and a vague attempt to maintain continuity, rather than them having something notably important to do? Cyclops comes off well, but Jean Grey is back to set up the Dark Phoenix Saga again. I seriously hope that this is not the case, and that this is just another example of misused plot elements form the comics, because the films are samey enough without them trying to remake their worst instalment. Either go to space, or go back to the drawing board. Apocalypse himself? Nothing to him, but you'll excuse me if I bring this to a close.....


The Verdict
I should be listing some positives here, I know, but I' don't remember many. At best, its acceptable. At worst its kind of dumb, and borderline offensive if you like the actual X-Men comics. But mostly, its just there. Its not even bad enough for too hate. Seriously folks, its barely worth seeing once, let alone twice. Go watch the 90's cartoon again, I'm sure it on Netflix or similar.

Images copyright of Fox, used under fair use provisions.

Foot notes

1. A review of that follows shortly.
2. Aside from being hired muscle, all Psylocke really does is walk around in comic accurate fetish outfit. A missed opportunity.

Last Week In Nerd News: time travel, monsters, and monocles

Okay folks, in my eternal quest to find a regular format for Sundays, here are my thoughts on need news from the last week. Considering these long on opinion, short on facts. Like any other Sunday columnist :)

The new series of Doctor Who

It premièred last night, and I seem to be one of maybe four people whom didn't like it. Why? Well, it was full of the sort of thing I didn't like about last year, it felt like a series finale with no build up, and ended with the doctor seemingly about to shoot a child in a minefield. Not an image I want in my head. The fact that this child is Davros, future space Hitler and Darlek creator, doesn't excuse it. It just adds a grandfather paradox. What's more, this two-parter is will resolve almost certainly resolve in a Reset Button. Clara is alive, Missy isn't dead again, and the TARDIS is intact. There will be no consequences.

Still, at least Michelle Gomez is fun to watch.


Pacific Rim sequel in doubt
News broke via The Hollywood Reporter earlier this week Pacific Rim 2 was cancelled/indefinitely-delayed due to movie politics. While Guillermo del Toro has said he's stillworking on it, Pacific Rim 2 may have been shelved in favour of some King Kong movies and a King Kong versus Godzilla film. I am conflicted. I do love a good monster mash, but the last Godzilla film really wasn't one. It somehow managed to put undue focus on the human characters and waste Byran Cranston. What? You enjoyed it? You do remember how it handled the first fight?

Don't pretend that wasn't an anti-climax. Maybe this new film won't be boring, but it would have be a lot more forthcoming with the smashy-smashy. It has to match this.

And if you go serious, can anyone do better with King Kong than Peter Jackson?

X-Men being Put On A Bus, then hit with a Bridge
In more film aggro related news, the ongoing spat between Fox and Marvel over movies hit a new low this week. Fox has the rights to the hundreds of X-Men characters, and Marvel wants its toys back. It would be easy to take Marvel's side on this, they could only do better films, but as with Fantastic Four, Marvel is effectively writing them out of the comics as part of its continuity shake-up. In favour of the functionally similar, but still in Marvel hands, Inhumans. Comics Alliance reports that the Terrigen Bomb responsible for suddenly increasing the Inhuman population, is also poisoning and sterilising mutants, while preventing their abilities from manifesting. Existing characters seem okay, but are being shuffled to other places. I find this to be very distasteful act of spite, especially given the themes and topics X-Men comics often feature. Magneto is a holocaust survivor, remember. Mind you, this isn't the first time Marvel did something horrible to mutants in the name of drama.

Bill Finger given credit as Batman Co-Creator

In happier comics news, The HollywoodReporter also revealed that the late Bill Finger is being recognised as the Co-creator of Batman by DC. Bill Finger was unfairly cut out of history in favour of Bob Kane, and Comics Alliance has a good, if now outdated, write up on the matter. Seems Bob Kane was not a nice man.

And finally: Armada Demolishor to join Combiner Wars?
While I'd say Combiner Wars was a great line, each toy seems fated to be reused at least three times, so its getting samey. That very well may be about to change, as a testshot of Onslaught has revealed an alternate head that looks a lot like Demolishor from Transformers Armada, source TFormers.

Yay!