Transformers: Legacy Evolution Beachcomber is Something That Exists

 Maybe I should just call this Transformers Thursday? Make it official?

 

 The 1985 Transformers Beachcomber Toy

Introduced in 1985 as part of the latter bunch of minibots released, Beachcomber is very much one of those crowd filler Autobots, whose fictional appearances are actually quite minimal. He's memorable, don't get me wrong, but he's memorable for but one episode, "Golden Lagoon". Therein, he finds a very nice glen, full of untouched nature, but also untouched reserves of the super metal Electrum. This leads to the area being utterly ruined. As it would. It's almost an ecological parable, but the execution ain't great. Said glen is also where the "Paradise Parakeet" name-dropped on the box comes from, but I'll come back to that. Beachcomber has not done very much else, although you see the name and colours a lot on toys with similar altmodes. There's simply a lot of Autobot cars, so he was predisposed to get lost in the shuffle, but I'd like to suggest another explanation. You've got an 80's toy advert, and this guy whose whole deal is that he's a geologist by trade and pacifist by a nature. It's not the personality profile you necessarily want in an action-oriented series, because he refutes the good versus evil conceit, doesn't want to do action scenes, and some underpaid/jobbing writer probably wouldn't want that headache. Maybe that’s why Derrick Wyatt wanted to kill him off. A fun way to treat Beachcomber, one seemingly a favoured by the fandom, is to depict him like a pot smoking hippy, but you can't really do that in kids media. Beachcomber is basically admirable, but possibly belongs in a more nuanced franchise. 

 

The 2018 Transformers: Power of the Primes Beachcomber Toy

So if Beachcomber is inoffensive but under-utilised as a character, and a memetic stoner, what's he like as a toy? Well, this is a chap whom invites discussion as to toy budgets and build quality. We've been getting minibots as short/small deluxes for a while now, so it's no shock to see Beachcomber in the deluxe pricepoint, and he's doing better than most when it comes to partsforming and such. The toy does not rely on a big chunk of the vehicle mode coming off as alleged shield, and does not have exposed hands issue Huffer had. Beachcomber is however not notably complex as say Cliffjumper was, with the transformation not being substantially different from his last toy, a small legends class in the ill-famed Power of the Primes line. This is probably the result of screen accuracy rather than (just) cost-cutting, but there's a few things about the build quality that raises questions about the budget. The toy features rubbery tires with pinned wheels as opposed to the mushroom peg style, which is something of "it's been so long, I can't remember when they stopped doing that" situation. It's chest also features a slider arrangement, a dramatic head reveal by way of that, and somewhat less of the carved out hollowness common to modern toys. Three possibilities present themselves: 1) there's been some creative accounting, so part of Beachcomber's budget ended up elsewhere, 2) fancy touches like good wheels are actually somewhat expensive, and 3) Hasbro is just padding their margin somewhat, see also Wizards of the Coast. Could be one of those things, or some combination there of, I don't know. The net result is that the toy feels nicer in hand than his stock images suggest, but not so nice as to dismiss my concerns about its value proposition. I got this for 19 quid on discount, rather than 25, and I think that was reasonable, but I wouldn't have felt great if I'd got it full price. 

 

Let's move away from the more contextual, big picture stuff, to focus more about the merits of this toy. Beachcomber's altmode is a dune buggy, specifically a 1982 M1040 Chenowth "Hellfire" Fast Attack Vehicle, which, yes, is military use. I will admit to not knowing that before looking it up, but it makes sense given Warpath & Powerglide exist. To muse for a moment, this obviously more right wing that you'd expect given his hippy persona, but I feel you could easily do a Vietnam-vet-turned-war-protester, or retired badass thing with Beachcomber. As these vehicles go, it looks good from most angles, and rolls like a dream, but there definitely angles which you don't want to look at. The head retracts into the body, but there's no panel to properly conceal it, with the torso doing little. The vehicle also has a certain gappiness around the seat area, although in all fairness dune buggies often resemble overgrown BMX bikes or industrial scaffolding, so perhaps no harm done? I do like the presence of diamond plate and how 5mm ports are worked into the sculpt around there. Play value is pretty good too, rolling better than any Transformer I've handled since Botshots, and then there is the "Evo Fusion" thing. Beachcomber features a bumper/gun accessory, a grey piece painted black, which has more going on that it looks. You can peg it on the rollbar as a weapon, something that does no harm to the look of the vehicle, but if you leave it on the front, there's additional tabs to keep straight. It's very much an optional piece too, so unlike most modern minibots, you can stick it in a draw somewhere if its not your thing.

The generally positive vibes continue into robot mode, doing the whole Sunbow G1 look, but not in a way that's limiting or daft. Beachcomber is on the shorter side for a deluxe, but he's not Cliffjumper short, and tends towards the stocky/blocky. I'm honestly having a hard time thinking of how you could meaningfully improve the robot form without moving to a different price bracket. Its likeness is on point, there's concealing panels to fill out the calves, 5mm ports are tactfully worked in, and Legacy standard articulation is present, with wrist swivels. The only weakness of note is how the seats and rollbar become the heels, which is acceptable, but not ideal or especially functional. Yes, a paint application is a little scuffed, and there’s some cut marks, but that's just something that happens. It's a very solid robot form on multiple levels.The gun? Well, if it bothers you, it can peg into the back. Oh, and he has a bird, yes. Paradise Parakeet. This rubbery little chap is based off the blast effect system from Siege, and so can perch on Beachcomber in various places, just like in the cartoon. But, it also means, that you can have a gun that fires birds. And on that note, this article comes to a natural conclusion. 

 

As the flow and warming tone of this article might indicate, Beachcomber kinda won me over. There's certainly complaints to be made, and an open question over the value proposition, so its not flawless. But this toy gets a lot right as well. What will probably decide it for you is availability; I’m told this is hard to find in the USA for example, so if you overpay for this, you’d better really fricking love Beachcomber. Because while he is something that exists, he’s not existing quite enough for a deluxe. Assuming that the price is moot for you though? I doubt you’d be disappointed.

 

Electrum rave party! 

 

Transformers: Legacy Evolution Autobot Medix is Something That Exists

Bloody hell, another white retool article got pushed back. Who'd have thunk it? Hang on, I've been sitting on this for at least four months... OK, lets call it a bonus article. Here we go folks!

The 2016 Playskool Heroes RescueBots Medix the Doc-Bot toy

 

OK, so Medix is a bit of an odd duck. He might be called a canon immigrant or a transplanted character, in that he's a G1 version of a transformer from a different continuity. Medix hails from the RescueBots sub-brand, which is not something I'm knowledgeable of, but can be summarised as "Transformers for the very young". This toy is however not the Medix; Legacy is/w not getting the actual RescueBots characters until 2024 with United, still in the future at time of writing. Rather, this is the version of Medix you could make at a Botcon 2016 custom class from the Combiner Wars First Aid mould, being one of several colour scheme variants availible. Incidentally, I was there, I made a Ratchet and got paint on the floor. Anyways, this places Medix as part of a wider Legacy trend of having exclusives referencing other, often rather obscure, exclusives, but hey, at least they aren't doing dumb shit like making popular characters hard to find. Earthrise, I'm looking at you. So, Medix is, like so many of the toys I've written about, a blank slate whose conceptual history and obscura of the toys is more interesting than the actual character. So, why did I get this then? And not discounted either? Well...

There is something so delightfully transgressive about taking a character whom is not merely a healer by definition but a healer in a show for the preschool audience, and then giving him enough weaponry to satisfy an Ork. And the daft thing is that it didn't have to be that way. What seems to have happened here is that they wanted to have a lightbar for the vehicle mode, which only makes sense, but instead of making a new one, they went to the Elita-1/Minerva mould and decided to throw in the guns from that as well. Perhaps the particulars of the accessories mould itself prevented them from just using the light bar, who knows? As a result Medix is toting a total of 4 handguns and two shoulder cannons. This guy officially a Protectobot, but I wonder if he tried out for the Wreckers only to be turned down because they thought he was too keen. 

 

This frankly excessive amount of dakka can be stored in the vehicle mode, although this is where the eccentricities of the toy begin to be felt. It's primarily based on Crankcase, a toy I haven't got around to handling yet, whom was a "reshell" retool of the Skids mould. This changed the almode extensively, and introduced a new play feature in the removable grill/gun while shifting round the 5mm ports a bit. As such, the vehicle form is even more boxy and has been equipped for off-road work. That's a good fit for a paramedic or first responder vehicle. The colours and decals look good too, if a bit messy around the spare wheel. Unfortunately, the use of the battlemask style head from the other version of the mould leaves an unslightly gap and sunken area on the hood. It doesn't help that the front wheels are have that unfortunate clip design where the plastic colours don't match, and things generally don't seem fit together as well as I would like. It rolls, fulfils the visual brief well, and you can do silly things like peg multiple guns into the light bar at once. Ultimately though, it's an altmode that works best from a distance, like some otherwise attractive individual whom had to put on a lot of concealer this morning.

The robot mode does a bit better. Generally speaking, a Legacy mould with a nice paint job and a lot of guns makes for a good time. From a design perspective though, it's interesting where you can see the push and pull of retooling. So, the original version of this mould sought to replicate the forearm guns of the original Skids toy, while adding a minor combination feature for the accessories. The ports remain for this, but only one of the accessories, a pistol that looks awkward by itself. What Crankcase added in its place was a removable chestplate affair, with the frontend of the car coming off to become a gun. This reveals a chest design closer to his 80's toy, while some regrettably small shoulder cannons lurk in the back kibble. As gimmicks go, it's a bit Top Gear, you know, ambitious, but rubbish. I'm not a huge fan of the modern habit of designers to have panels come off as alleged accessories, although I will give it credit for not being a shield. On the subject of accessories, the 5mm ports have been remixed a bit. The somewhat bulkier upper arms on the outside, which is more useful, if moving the ports on the lower legs to the calf area. This is an inversion of the original, and I dunno, feels like a two steps forward, one step back situation. To make a further comparison with the original, there's the matter of the backpack. The retooling results in a larger backpack, but to facilitate the whole triggercon tribute it locks in two places, so between that and the grill gun, you've got options for the visuals. So you got a nice chunky robot with some nice paintwork and lots of guns, although the colour choices do highlight hollowness and such in the mould.

My point? Only that Medix is something that exists. And while a notable distance from being bad, and definately on the good side of average, this is more a curiosity than a must-have.

Transformers: Legacy Evolution Armada Universe Optimus Prime is Something That Exists

Goddammit, why is this so good?! Everyone knows that glowing reviews make for dull reading... 

 

The 2002/2003 Armada Optimus Prime toy, Superbase version

Anyways. I'm not going to talk about Armada Prime too much as a character. Partially because Optimus characters tend to follow a well-known archetype, and if you've spent any time at all with Transformers, you won't need that introduction. But also because I'm slightly more of a toy guy in this instance. This version of Prime was a showpiece for his toyline, and also a response to the Optimus of the previous line, Robots in Disguise or Car Robots in its native Japan. Like that toy, it had a super robot mode, was promoted primarily by a low budget anime, which received a rushed dub and a bunch of name changes when brought over. This new Prime, while having a clear lineage to the past versions, took an entirely different approach to the matters of play and transformation. He was stuffed with electronics, with the cab functioning as a wireless controller to the trailer, which had a motorised transformation and too many other things to quickly summarise here. Posability and general complexity were greatly reduced however, especially in comparison to the Beast Era which had only just ended. Armada's overall design philosophy was more like late-G1 and Micromasters, just with a lot more electronics and geared action features. It probably didn't help that Armada Prime was the first actual, no qualifiers, attempt to remake Optimus Prime. Many vocal collectors were put off, although actual children and their parents loved it. At the time, it wasn't for me either, and largely still isn't. I was still getting back into Transformers, and I have the probably autistic trait of not liking noisy toys. So I never rolled the dice on that mould. But I did get the smaller "supercon" release, which favoured articulation, and has aged very well.

The other 2002/2003 Armada Optimus Prime toy, the supercon version, AKA "Bendy Prime".

Now, I could do a mode by mode breakdown, but that's not what's really important here. We've had one deluxe Armada revamp, one voyager, and one leader, so the trend should be fairly obvious at this point. I.e. a toy that evokes those early 2000s pieces, with influences from the animation, but one with a significantly different design philosophy. While mini-cons seem to be coming back for exclusives, they aren't present here, and neither are the vast majority of gimmicks or play features. Rather, you get one or so extremely characterful gimmick, to go with Legacy's general baseline of articulation and 5mm port functions. This makes the resulting toys better as actual transformers and action figures than their source material, if being less fun on the "listable features" level. It's just the numbers, Armada toys had a lot going on, whereas Legacy toys don't usually. Thus, Armada Prime is a decidedly more po-faced and collector-oriented than the original, discarding basically everything vaguely gimmicky in favour of looks and meaningful articulation. Despite that, it did please my inner child immensely, with that joyous feeling of things tabbing solidly into place, clicking of big ratchets, thinking that you don't need instructions, then you actually do, and you think, yeah, I see what they mean now. You know, that "Christmas Morning" feeling when you've been looking forward to something for ages, and it's actually better than you thought it would be. And I admit I was looking forward to this. But I think my enjoyment, and indeed the positive reaction from the fandom, goes beyond it's self-evident merits. This is not merely Armada Prime as we remember him, nor as he actually was. This is something better, and something the 2002 toy could easily have been in the first place.

.

 

As mentioned, the original toy was characterised by having a lot of electronics and a motorised transformation. There's nowt wrong with that as a concept, there is more than one kind of fun after all, but compromises were made. The trailer amounted to a set of panels that stood up to create an immobile set of legs, while the cab was simple and not especially posable. If we consider the tactile act of transforming a toy to be an important part of the experience, and most of the time it is, the original was lacking in execution. It didn't lack for ambition, and it certainly wasn't lacking for creativity, but maybe they looked at the famously fiddly Car Robots moulds and over-corrected? This new toy almost feels like something that could have been made back then, and despite lacking in play features, the amount of fun remains high. This is because, when you get right down to it, having a Prime combine with his trailer to make a bigger robot mode for improved arsekicking is pretty fucking awesome, especially when everything else about the toy is on point. This toy simply feels as good as it looks.

Is this a perfect toy? No, there's a few odd places where omissions become very notable in contrast with the high level of quality otherwise. He has a matrix for example, but the inner robot mode lacks a means to hold it. It's base mode is fine, but like most such things is kinda forgettable. You might want to change the eye colour and there's the occasional hollow bit, but usually in places where it doesn't hurt. But the fact of the matter is that, as far as mass market releases go, it's not being bettered any time soon. Think of it like the average Combiner Wars team right? It's took a while for them to do it, expectation was high, and you can certainly nitpick or get 3rd party add-ons. But even so, they nailed it, and attempts to do the same since have felt like a sidegrade rather than an upgrade. Or however you want to qualify the Legacy Stuntacons. I would not be surprised if something similar happened with this chap.

 

 

My point? Only that Armada Universe Optimus Prime is something that exists. I kinda want to call it Transformer of the Year, but I'll hedge my bets and not do so. Because if they do put something better than this at retail? Goddammit I want that too.

Transformers: Legacy Evolution Armada Universe Megatron is Something That Exists

The 2002/2003 Transformers Armada Megatron toy

 

Armada Megatron is, of course, the version of Megatron from Transformers: Armada, part one of the Unicron Trilogy. AKA Armada Megs. It even calls him that on the shipping boxes, and while that’s a perfectly fine as shorthand, maybe its selling him short. While voiced by a returning David Kaye, he wasn’t really a criminal mastermind with theatrical tendencies. No, this Megatron was more of the classical despot. While his relationship with his Starscream is the stuff of Limpkin Park vocals, and the writing wasn’t good, Armada Megs does have nuance if you go looking. He is, to the best of my knowledge, the only Megatron to gain a willing turncoat from the Autobots, and in what could only be described as a heroic manner, rescuing someone from a fire. This Megs was a harsh authoritarian in addition to being a well-spoken despot, but tending towards competency, with an unexpected streak of self-sacrifice. This version of Megs has received an update before, as a head-swapped recolour of Combiner Wars Megatron, but as part of Legacy’s Armada binge, we see him here today as a totally new mould. It is also the purest example of Legacy and its design approach I’ve handled so far. Peak Legacy, if you will. Read on to find out why.

Now, I like the tank mode. I like it a lot. It's got that platonic scifi H-tank thing going on. It's not going for military realism, not with the head upfront, but there is a nicely detailed sculpt and effective use of colour. It rolls, the turret turns but I'll come back to that shortly, and the plentiful 5mm ports are an acceptable substitute for mini-con functionality. The thing is though, the main thing the sculpt does is evoke play features that aren't there. And let's not kid around here, the Armada original had a lot going on. Granted, a lot of it was just places to stick on mini-cons that just sat there, but we also had firing missiles, flip-out panels and electronics. Probably more than any of the other Armada remakes we've had, this mode feels like it lost something in the process, because the original tank mode was extra. This new tank is fine to look at, and does the basics, but lacks that flair. That’s peak Legacy, that is. What does take the shine off though are two odd design choices. First off, only half of mechanism on the front-right is painted, which is supposedly due to the plastics used. At that point, it would have been better to leave it blank. The second, and this is if anything even more baffling, the turret can't do a 360 spin, seemingly for the benefit of the robot mode. So, overall its fine, but its not setting the world alight, and there’s a few things that seem odd choices. Oh yeah, and the head antlers are a rubbery plastic and not especially well-tabbed.

Engineering and transformation has a similar fine if maybe odd around the edges feel. The broad strokes are of course similar to the original toy, with additional steps and sub-assemblies that help with the proportions of its modes. This does however make things a bit unusual with respects to the shoulders. The arms don’t connect to the torso directly, instead connecting to the shoulder pylons. Functionally nothing major is lost, but its a little weird, and probably needed a locking tab somewhere. Meanwhile, the “face slider” from the original toy is replicated in visual appearance, but not in function. So, instead of pushing up a panel to conceal the face in tank mode, you open the entire chest and flip out a panel. That’s peak Legacy, that is.

 

Those criticisms having been made in the paragraphs above, the robot mode is quite lovely and has some welcome improvements. The original toy was infamous for having no knees. The Combiner Wars version did have have knees, but not great ones, or indeed especially great articulation in general. This new toy has fine knees. And ankle tilts. In fact, the posability is largely ideal for something this blocky and tall, to do better you'd need to substantially increase the parts count. So, with that decades-old fandom desire having been finally met, what else does the robot mode offer? Well, it's kinda gorgeous, you know? The head is extremely on point, with the general appearance of things only marred by the hollow forearms. Something that this toy does very well is a subtle asymmetry in its sculpt. The forearms, chestplate, hands, lower legs, and back of the thighs, the list goes on. If you look at him straight on, you don’t immediately notice. The head and shoulder pylons are symmetrical and mirrored, with the abs, upper thighs and feet continuing that trend. But then you give it a harder look, and realise every area that could have its own unique greebling does. We don’t really get designs like this very often, and even within Armada it wasn’t common among the bigger toys. A vast majority of Transformers toys are symmetrical where-ever possible, especially as CAD exists, and its beneficial for engineering. They could so easily smoothed out the details, made everything symmetrical, and I don’t think anyone would have minded. It would probably have aided the future retooling options they were, no doubt, considering. But no, they committed to the look. That’s peak Legacy, that is.

So, what play feature’s does the robot mode have? Is it just a pretty face? If that term that can be applied to a brick shithouse like this? Well, it does have some. Less than the original toy, but still more than the Legacy average. He doesn’t have any accessories as such, but he does have three party tricks, which by the standards of Evo Fusion are fricking legendary. The first thing, and a completely new thing, is that you can pop the end off the tank barrel to give him a gun arm which is nice, if unexpected. If you leave it on, you can easily swing it under either arm to fire. Yes, that’s a touch basic, but if Twincast gets to count weapon storage in boombox mode, I get to count something actually useful. And finally, he can do this. 

 

That’s peak Legacy, that is.

My point? Only that Armada Universe Megatron is something that exists. And that he’s peak Legacy. This is not same as saying he’s the best thing in Legacy, although he is good, rather that he’s great example of Legacy tends to modernise stuff. Armada Megs evokes the original toy in terms of transformation, but not the play pattern, while inheriting cartoon elements. I have nitpicked a lot, but that’s because I care, and I acknowledge that this toy may well be outside of your nostalgia window, and that won’t do the tank mode any favours. But, all that having been said, this is a most satisfactory update.

 

Transformers: Legacy Evolution Skyquake is Something That Exists

 

 

The 2012 Transformers: Prime Robots in Disguise Skyquake toy

If I was to nitpick the Legacy line, and I wasn't complaining about bone-headed cartoon accuracy, I'd be making criticisms of how the Transformers: Prime characters were executed. To paraphrase/misquote Thew, Prime was a middle ground between the early bay verse films and Transformers: Animated, but lacking the flair of both. It has its followers though, and the cartoon got a Daytime Emmy award, so it clearly found it's place. The toyline however suffered badly from budget cuts at the time, so you'd think a few do-overs wouldn't hurt? I mean, it's only been a decade, so the difference might not be spectacular, but the Studio Series is a thing, and that started out as a line of do-overs. Instead, what characters we've had from that bit of the brand seem to exist only as repaint fodder. 

 

The 1992 Transformers Skyquake Toy

I will admit to being modestly surprised when I looked Skyquake up, or at least the Prime iteration thereof. I'd had this guy pegged as a melange of influences and a pretool to something more famous, and that's actually not wrong. Skyquake has a twin brother, Dreadwing, whom has just been leaked at time of writing, while this toy shares a lot visually with the G1 Skyquake. The Prime iteration though, against expectations, had managed to have a lasting effect on his cartoon, even/especially posthumously. G1 Skyquake meanwhile is super obscure, and is best known for being an oddly coloured chap whom was shot in the back several pages into the (highly recommended) comic series The Last Stand of The Wreckers. So… why mix both together? Its clear which is the interesting one. It is akin to creating a James Bond tier list, and putting George Lazenby on the same level as Timothy Dalton. For the purposes of this metaphor, Dreadwing would be Roger Moore. As such, it's a little weird for them to take such obviously divergent characters and blend them together like this. The closest thing I can think of is when they put an IDW style head on something, or tried to up a bayformer in G1 colours. And given Shadow Striker, it seems be a new trend.

 

The merger of the two Skyquakes is most evident and most schizophrenic in jet mode. The front end is the Prime version, with it's distinctive nosecose and cockpit design. It's backend and wings are however the G1 iteration. The overall effect therefore becomes like something out of your average spaceship shooter video game from three decades ago, like R-Type, Thunderforce, Raiden and so on. It's got a very chunky, stubby winged look, but there is a definite appeal to that. The green with metallic highlights is a great colour scheme. What elevates it however a number of nice features often committed from modern toys. Yes, this has both the luxury of an opening cockpit AND foldaway landing gear. It makes the plane just that bit more compelling. The underside area isn't too bad either, it's got it's share of seams, don't get me wrong, but compared to your average modern seeker? Its trying harder. Much harder. On the downside however, placing the minigun in its dedicated spot on the underside blocks the flight stand port, and interferes with the landing gear. Boo. Play features and/or Evo Fusion? Well, in what's almost certainly functionality for a later release, you can attach Needlenose on top. It's nothing special. If anything, it highlights the difference between an imperfect but actually pretty clean jet, and one that's naff from all but one angle. Pretty much everything Needlenose got wrong, Skyquake gets right.

 

Putting things into robot mode is a non-trivial process. That's both a positive and a negative. A lot of modern leaders tend to be a bit simple, often voyagers with extra accessories, or have a toy with simple conversion as source material. Skyquake really isn't like that, he's possibly something closer to a Studio Series leader, as there's a lot of moving parts. This relative complexity is gonna be a plus for people whom like bigger toys to have more involved engineering, although a word of caution is advised. The instructions refer to a different version of the toy, which has confused the hell out of everyone. In order to get the backpack flush and tabbed in, you have to collapse the nosecone in a specific order, and feed the cockpit glass through the backpack. See this video for a demonstration. This is very much an "exactly this order" problem, with the wrong order being more intuitive. Fucksake Hasbro. In other news, I did notice with my example that the ratcheting joints alternated between "OK" and "tight to the point of concern". On the plus side however there is some welcome touches like panels to conceal gaps on the limbs, which add to the generally premium vibe the toy has. As for the resulting robot mode? Well... 

 

Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.

Skyquake's robot continues the melange of visual elements and pleasing bulk. For the most part, he leans towards the pseudo-G1 style that Bulkhead and such had, by going somewhat more boxy than the Prime iteration and having a nose. Elements inherited from the G1 version are mostly focused on the torso and backpack areas, and look like bits easily retooled for other characters. Which, TBH, was a disappointment I had with Dreadwing when he was leaked, as none of those bits had been changed. I’d been half-expecting them to mix things up a bit, before going full G1 for an exclusive of some sort. You know, Skyquake being the pretool to a more interesting release? Still, they are twins. Its not a problem as such, but there’s definitely competing elements at play here, with the overall form and play pattern being that of the Prime iteration, only for the centre mass to be very G1. That's also where some visual flaws creep in, the torso having a certain hollowness resulting from the transformation, and a big translucent chest plate doesn't help with that. This is however balanced out by the aforementioned limb panels and a general impression of mass. Skyquake is a big dude, not merely chonky like the jet mode, but thick of proportion like a bodybuilder. One imagines he has a rivalry with Jhiaxus at the Decepticon Gym, and is comfortably in the lead. The articulation supports that look quite well, he's got notably good shoulder and knee joints, if being a touch limited in the ankle. He's in high heels and doesn't have much of an ankle rocker, so there's certain poses he struggles with. What he does excel at is two-handed chaingun pose with a side order of swordplay. Few Transformers toys even attempt a two-handed pose, but they made the effort here, and if that gets boring, he's definitely got the joints to swing a sword. If, for some reason, the sword is only moulded to fit the right hand...

My point? Only that Legacy Evolution Skyquake is something that exists. And that his instructions are hot garbage. Its looking like he’s heading towards the discount rack, but I don’t think you’ll regret grabbing him there.

Transformers: Legacy Evolution Needlenose is Something That Exists

So, here's the thing, I recently got myself this toy as a treat. Also because I thought it would be good blog fodder. So I drafted a review as I was working through some issues, and came to the conclusion that my usual style wasn't cutting it. It wasn't a bad draft, but I didn't feel I was adding much to the conversation. I don’t actually need to review everything I get, after all, but Needlenose held my attention. So, rather than do my usual deep dive into obscura and mode-by-mode commentary, I'm just gonna talk about why Needlenose is how he is.

 

The 1988 Needlenose toy

So, let me preface the discussion by saying Needlenose is OK. Needlenose is a fairly complete release that ticks the boxes he should. He's got two modes, he's got two dudes that turn into guns, some little bits he didn't need, and generally feels like they tried to update the 1988 toy with modern production values. As a jetformer with two guns, there is a certain appeal to him, and Legacy era toys usually don't skimp on either articulation or paint... so it's not that he's lacking much. I have much time for gun-fu poses and whooshing plane noises. The problems however start with the targetmasters Sunbeam and Zigzag, whom are functionally identical to the G1 toys. They weren't modernised as such, which is a problem as the whole little-dude-becomes-a-weapon play pattern gets done every few years, each time better than this. A case could even be made that these are worse than the originals too, which used pinned components, and had no tolerance issues that I’m aware of. Zigzag has so much black paint on him its a stress mark concern. Moving onto Needlenose himself, there's another issue, this time with parts integration. Needlenose carries his entire altmode on his back, the robot bits compressing into a box on the underneath of his jet form. It would probably be a trivial matter to separate the almode from the robot, and unlike most shellformers that do that, there is barely any jet to form a shell around or otherwise detract from the robot. They did however attempt to add a bit of value, as Sunbeam and Zigzag can, via an easily missed tab, form an external booster for the jet mode. The fact that its two dudes in odd clothes planking together doesn’t exactly help the look of the thing, but an attempt was made. Again, none of this is without an appeal, but this is succeeding in spite of its design choices, not because if them. So, why has this happened? Why do we have a Transformer that so clearly struggles with its two main features? 

 

Let's start with the matters of budget and parts count. Since the era of Titans Return, the concept of tiny dude becomes a gun has been largely relegated to individual low-cost releases. The solo titanmasters were a good example of this, being simple pocket money toys, although becoming a gun was only part of what they did. This price point would eventually be dropped for Kingdom, although you could make the case that the toys it featured gradually declined in complexity. The Primemasters had more raw plastic, but ultimately did less, while Siege's Battlemasters went back to basics with simple but elegant toys with those blast effects everyone loves. Then Earthrise ruined it by having the little dudes become roads, but let's not get sidetracked. The point is that Hasbro generally wasn't putting paired figures in Generations, such things turning up in RID2015 and more kid-centric lines, but even then, the gun-dude was often a separate purchase. So, is it merely that these chaps got priced out? Well, that's a definitely a factor, but I'd like to point to another phenomenon. Hasbro seems entirely willing to bring this play pattern back in force for Rise of the Beasts, but not for the Studio Series releases, instead for the more kid-based lines. The simpler, mass market toys in other words. Generations seems to be stuck in a rut where they really want to appeal to collectors and their perfectionism, but always seem to want the retail market too. So Legacy and the like tend to be very good for articulation and paint, but simpler amusements are being cut. 

 

So, with the above in mind, we have Needlenose. He exists in a serious-minded collectors line, see Blaster, one that tends towards self-defeating fidelity to its source material, see Blitzwing, or a melange of neo-G1 styling, see Bulkhead. Needlenose has however has had no cartoon appearances, and kinda infrequent comic appearances, so there's less to draw on. This means, as mentioned, the designers have gone and tried to directly update the original toy, which isn't actually a bad thing by itself. However, there we hit the problem, Needlenose & his gunbuddies were explicitly the budget offering of their year. The kid-centric, cheap, pocket money releases I mentioned above, and were actually simpler designs than the original Targetmasters. And indeed late-G1 offerings like Actionmasters and the hysterically named Breast Force. So, somebody went and tried to make a luxury version of something designed to be cheap, and they are retaining the flaws because they think that's what we all want. That's dumb. I struggle for a metaphor to stress how dumb that it is. Possibly a gourmet plate of fish & chips, served on a sheet of imitation newspaper? And costs more than three times the comparable meal from the local chippie? Its not necessarily bad, I’m not saying that. I’m saying someone missed the point, and there’s probably a better option out there.

There’s a further interpretation too, one still a bit uncertain at time of writing, and that’s retooling. Its been a central part of Hasbros business practices to aggressively reuse moulds and parts for its Generations releases, something which I’ve had a lot to say about. This is one of those things that isn’t technically bad, more a nuisance if you are completionist/perfectionist about things. Hasbro has gotten pretty good at selling the same toy five times, either through paintwork or substantial redesign, and if I’m honest its kinda fun. Some very interesting toys have come out of it, and its a common occurrence in my writings for this point to come up. Of course, a completely fair argument against it, one which Needlenose could easily be subject to, is that if you’re gonna ask for premium prices, people are gonna want a premium product. Money for old rope, and all that. Needlenose can connect to the concurrent Sky Quake toy in jet mode. This, along with circumstantial evidence like his removable tailfin, suggests that Needlenose is intended to be reused for the obscure Predators group. That would be a compelling explanation for his jet mode, because you could take all that off and replace it, no trouble This wouldn’t be the first mould to pull double-duty and be compromised as a result. But, as I said, this is still up in the air.

I mentioned better options above. What could those options be? Well, the simple solution would have been not to include the targetmasters at all, and instead do what Siege Spinister did and have two modular weapons instead. I guarantee that you'd loose no functionality, and the entire effect would be better because they wouldn't so obviously be two chaps lying down. That's a harsh judgement, I know, but a fair one. I strongly suspect a future retool will omit them completely, in favour of more jet bits. Alternatively, promote Needlenose to a voyager and spend the budget on making the gun dudes good and maybe rework the jet mode? Or, we could just have Needlenose be a head swap retool of another toy? It worked before. It also worked for Quake. 

 

My point? Only that Legacy Evolution Needlenose is something that exists. To give him the benefit of the doubt, he's an earnest attempt to do slightly the wrong thing. And he's probably better than Pointblank.

Transformers: Legacy Evolution Comic Universe Tarn is Something That Exists

 

The Cover to MTMTE #7

 

While not without its faults, the More Than Meets The Eye comic series is a highpoint for Transformers media. Fan-turned-writer James Roberts brought both a British sense of humour and a political eye to what was a fairly novel idea at the time. The war was over, what happens now? For the characters of MTMTE, it was go off on a quest, with a tone somewhere between Red Dwarf, and that run of Justice League: International everyone loves. The comic would do a lot of worldbuilding that stuck, and would endear itself to the LGBQT community with Chromedome & Rewind, whom were unambiguously married, and others. However, as often happens when people passionately love something that goes on to challenge preconceptions, you'll find a lot of very strong opinions about the comic. Some justified, some merely masking a distaste for representation and change in general. Roberts’ use of characters like Ultra Magnus, Megatron and Getaway provoked endless fandom spats that still rumble on today. My personal take is that things started to go off the boil with the Lost Light rebranding, and I got rather impatient with the series treading water and shuffling some of my faves out of the roster in rather unsatisfactory ways. I. E Tailgate. I think what we all loved were the character dynamics, whereas Roberts got more interested in big picture stuff of his own creation, as IDW was getting ready for a continuity reboot, so things suffered, but I will die on a hill for the good bits. Also: shout-out to Anode and Lug, good to have you ladies along.

 

 An early panel of "Tarn" and the hateful sadists of the D.J.D

So, where does "Tarn" fit into this? Well, he's a concept that would be as edgelord as fuck in the hands of another writer. He leads the Decepticon Justice Division, a team of codenamed sadists whose job it is to enforce discipline on the rank and file. Their modus operandi is to work their way down a list of offenders, torturing these poor bastards for a prolonged period, before killing them in the messiest way possible. Several of the group transform into torture implements, and are quite capable of brutalising almost anyone you care to name. While horrifying on several levels, if you step back for a moment, and think, another layer presents itself. The D.J.D are fascist try-hard cringe. A bunch of murderers given licence by a political philosophy to kill folk, and grossly ineffective at their implied role as military police. This was entirely the point, as their spotlight issue demonstrated. "Tarn" is the king of cringe mountain, although this was not immediately obvious. He was the subject of much fan theory, as Mr Roberts was a writer fond of laying plot seeds that would sprout years later. "Tarn's" given name was not stated, and he wore the Decepticon badge as a mask. It wasn't clear who this dude was, but he was scary, could literally talk people to death, and he was positioned as a peer to Grimlock in the realm of brute force. There were also a few characters currently AWOL from the story, so people had their theories. People got a little upset when these theories proved to be wrong, not least because Roberts liked red herrings too. Who "Tarn" is wasn't a mystery to the characters, just the audience, because who would want to talk about such a person? I wouldn't want to acknowledge that I knew someone whom joined the fecking Spanish Inquisition with a gun in one hand, and a management textbook in the other. It's more about what he is. And what he is, is Kylo Ren before Kylo Ren was a thing. "Tarn" is deep down a pathetic fanboy, but that does not make him any less dangerous to those around him. The guy is bad news personified. 

 

Let's start with the tank mode, and the related matter of transformation. What is basically amazing here is the extent to which the art has been replicated in plastic. This is a comment very applicable to the robot mode too, but the tank mode is where you'd expect them to do a Jhiaxus, and phone it in. MTMTE often forgot about transformation, so it would not have been a shock if they did so here. Not least because "Tarn" had a highly distinctive alt mode with six sets of tank treads, two fixed guns on the hull and a twin cannon turret, him being a Captain Trying-too-hard even in this sense. It totally would not be a surprise if "Tarn's" natural altmode was something much more mundane. But no, the tank mode is, as near as it makes no difference, spot-on to Alex Milne's character model. Now, this is pretty great, but it's not perfect, as it's a got a few little things that invite nitpicking. First off, the hands are visible at the back, a downer that I don't have an obvious fix for, but I'm willing to forgive. Then there are the treads, which lack rolling wheels, something you don't miss until its not there. I can only assume that these were cut on budget and parts count grounds, which stands out given the attention to detail and the lavish paintwork throughout. An awful lot here is purple translucent plastic painted over with more/different purple and metallic highlights, which looks gorgeous. No kidding, they made this pretty. Functionally, it's a fairly typical post-Siege vehicle mode, with the 5mm ports nicely integrated into the sculpt, with the turret & guns based on the same system, and a soft tab that can hold the assembly straight. The transformation meanwhile is simple overall, but with complications in the upper body. It's the tread assembly that is the tricky bit, getting them retabbed and such is a marked contrast to the legs that largely go where you'd expect. Also, there is a case of Visible Head Syndrome. Those nits having been picked, I have to say they did fine work with the tank form. Because, well, it's doing a good job with difficult source material. And then there's the robot mode.

The robot form is where it all comes together, and damn. It is, as near as it makes no difference, perfect. The nitpicking does however come back, "Tarn" generally being so good that any weakness becomes glaring. Overall, the proportions tend towards the lithe, and this has led to people calling him flat. Another way to describe it would be "kibble-free", as everything integrates so well, but I do see where people are coming from on this. "Tarn" was depicted as a fairly hench sort of guy, with the toy definitely being wide at the shoulders, and big of feet, but otherwise not fully capturing that hench-ness. Of course, we can easily chalk this up reality getting in the way, or, and I think this fits "Tarn's" fundamentally try-hard vibe, we can assume that this is a skinny guy in a muscle suit, trying to look more intimidating. That is exactly the sort of thing he'd do. Another visual point of interest is a reported similarity in some details to Alex Milne's most recent character model for Bludgeon, a fellow tankformer, and Decepticon rather famous in comics. If this foretells a future retool, colour me interested. Meanwhile, there is a lot of paint over translucent plastic, and some easily missed light piped eyes.

 

So, with the visuals on point, what's it like functionally? Generally pretty good, with a few touches that go beyond the brief. "Tarn" has all the legacy standard joints, with opening hands, which are always fun. Due to how the transformation works, the legs end up with notable freedom, those chunky feet helping with balance, and you can unclip the knees for more movement. The arms aren't quite as good, as this is where the tank tread design meets Hasbro engineering. They have enough, don't get me wrong, but an additional swivel at the shoulder would have been nice. Its almost as if having a bunch of tank treads for arms is a cool-looking but slightly impractical idea? "Tarn" and the D.J.D in a nutshell, that. The twin fusion cannon, as mentioned, also gives you a few options for use, with alternative long-barrelled and backpack configurations. So, he can definitely do more than stand there and look intimidating. A good robot mode. 

 

 

My point? Well, I have several beyond this toy actually existing, when many thought it never could. Looking at this toy, I am reminded of the feeling I had with Combiner Wars, in that a lot of third party items just got put on eBay. If you collect actual Transformers, i.e. robots that become other things and can (theoretically) be found at retail, this is immediately the best "Tarn", and probably the best one we are ever likely to get. Yes, you could go for one of the third party options, but you maybe aren't getting more for your money? Or an actual toy? Yes, there is a model kit and Super7 version if you want licenced merch, but those don't transform. But if you want an actual Transformer? I have good news, they did a fine job here. Also, as the lengthy preamble implies, "Tarn" is an important-if-cringey character in the Transformers fandom, so it's good that they tried, and even better that they succeeded.