Remembering: King of Braves Gaogaigar

I've never found a series with quite the same vibe as Yusha-oh Gaogaigar, and that makes no sense whatsoever now I come to think of it. The show is a purposeful throwback to the Super Robot Genre of the 1970s, and the latter part of a franchise similarly thereof. Its merchandise driven, overtly so, and as it was made by Takara, its a second cousin to the Transformers brand. There are hundreds of animes of similar providence, and maybe a million in the same, glorious, "punchy-punchy-robo-boomy" bracket. King of Braves Gaogaigar should not have been memorable, even amongst obsessive collectors and trivia obsessed nerds like myself. Why do people care then? I don't quite know, but I think it's a zeitgeist thing, a fluke combination of circumstances, where somebody rolled six sixes in a row. But that's selling it short. Gaogaigar is very much the perfect version of what it's trying to be. And then it becomes something more.

 

Now, what it's trying to be is a toy advert with a lot of stock animation. The show has a new toy to sell every 4 or so episodes, and puts a lot of effort into making them seem cool while fighting the proverbial Monster of the Week. Transformation and combination sequences get spammed and remixed endlessly, and I'm suspicious that one episode does this as deliberate self-parody. It's a very formulaic and simple anime, especially in the beginning, but those terms are not inherently negative. There is always something to be said for televisual comfort food, a pizza ordered from your favourite takeaway. You know exactly what you are getting, it may not be the best thing objectively, but you'll be satisfied. In twenty minutes or less. Gaogaigar is very good at being a mecha show, following a Monster of the Week format, with a target audience of kids. It is an ideal example of something like that. As a result, the show seems utterly daft if you try to describe what actually happens in a given episode, and the excessive design work that went into it. If I speak of this anime for any length of time, my words become those of an over-excited eight-year-old, one whom has to be making stuff up. In fact, let's do that now.

 

So, a typical episode plays out like this. First, a cold opening, followed by the expository theme song. Then, there's this big CG face under Tokyo Tower, and it's out to cause trouble. So it sends out one of its lackeys to turn a human into a robot monster. Those minions are a car-ballerina, a slug-train-conductor, a demonic looking chap with a big nose, called Pizza, and something that looks like Captain Birdseye's secret shame. The human is usually very stressed about something, which affects what form of robeast they end up being. This monster starts making a mess, which prompts the Gutsy Geoid Guard, (GGG, pronounced 3G,) to respond. Cue commercial break, and schematics of a mecha or item from the show. A plan is made by Mission Control, whom maybe panic a little. This involves the deployment of Gaogaigar, a combining robot seemingly made from whatever was left in the spares bin. It's built from a lion, a stealth bomber, a bullet train and a drill tank. And it's piloted by a cyborg with long red hair and battery bangs, whose cockpit area seems to be just a globe of light. He's called Cyborg Gai, incidentally. A huge amount of animator effort and screen time is expended on just combining. It borders on technology porn. The very hammy Chief Taiga bellows his approval, there's an exchange of blows, and Gaogaigar unleashes it's finisher, which at first is to rip the monster's core out by hand, but later involves a gigantic squeaky mallet. But wait, there's more. The core will regrow its body unless you "purify" it to free the person inside. This involves a boy, Mamoru, the audience avatar, spreading a set of fairy wings and chanting Latin at the organ while growing green. The victim inside regains their human form, openly weeping, but with joy. Roll credits, and cue a hyperbolic preview of the next episode, with the last shot being the "key to victory", an image of what will save the day next week. There's also a narrator, for the younger kids, I think. Later additions include a police car ninja, set of doomsday pliers, and a robot whom fights with the power of rock.

It is an incredibly memetic show.

So, why does this overtly silly stuff get treated so earnestly, and animated so well even as they repeat segments endlessly? It's because it's a reconstruction. Gaogaigar was planned and went to market in the aftermath of the famously depressing Neon Genesis Evangelion, when everybody else was following its lead. Somebody took a look at that trend, maybe one of the creatives, maybe the man with the money, and said "No.". I don't have much to go on, but Wikipedia entries do make mention that the production purposefully avoided the intrigue and dark secrets common to the mecha genre at the time. The Brave Saga was always firmly in the Super Robot Genre, but with Gaogaigar somebody decided to double-down, and I want to hug them for it. The show could easily have been bleak, looking at the details. Take Cyborg Gai, I mean, this guy cheated death and is now a walking weapon system. His kinda-girlfriend Mikoto perhaps has it worse as her parents died in the same incident, and now has to watch Gai fight monsters. But these aren't merely creatures, these are civilians transformed into mechanical abominations, unwilling participants in their rampage. And if wasn't the 9 year old with super powers, said monsters would be undefeatable. Is the cast necessarily happy about this? No. Are they consumed by despair? Nah, they roar defiantly. They power through it, with Gai treating his resurrection as a gift from the capital g God so he can help people. What is the titular Gaogaigar's defining accessory? The Dividing Driver. What does it do? Well, it's not a weapon, its a device that creates a safe battlefield where collateral damage cannot happen. Negative emotions are explicitly described as what fuels the enemy, while courage makes the difference. This anime simply does not indulge in needless tragedy or cynicism, and while not everyone makes it, there's a happy ending. It is pure, wholesome, heroism. And ham. Hot-blooded ham.

 

 

 

If the Gaogaigar anime had only been unironic kiddy fare though, that would have been fine, but it might only have been a footnote. Like I said, there's many toy-driven animes with the same basic formula. But, Gaogaigar breaks its own format and starts escalating the conflict. A super robot anime may be fundamentally juvenile, that is not to say actual drama is absent. Far from it. After a series of seemingly random attacks, the baddies lay claim to Tokyo, prompting a desperate battle to save the 10 million living there. It's a close run thing, only for the victory to be hollow. The team at GGG was only dealing with a scouting party, and the main force promptly turns up for some payback. With the stakes raised, foreshadowing paying off, and stronger continuity between episodes, the anime achieves greatness. And it does this while retaining its fundamentally hammy, hot-blooded nature. There's almost some genre subversion going on too, as GGG finds itself with allies whom have a somewhat different set of priorities. Most notably, the stakes go big and then intensely personal for the end, in a mirroring of the first episode. TBH, if you are still watching after the fifth episode, you're already committed fully to the show, but there's no disputing that things improve sharply by the midpoint.

Gaogaigar received a western release circa 2006, but notably not a complete English dub. Its not exactly easy to obtain now, and remains absent from streaming services. There's also a two sequels, of similarly limited accessibility. If anything I said above appeals, you might want to make the effort.

Remembering Transformers: Armada

This article has its roots on twitter, mainly collecting articles by @inkybauds, but also thoughts that have been bubbling away in the back of my head. While I am old enough to have experienced Generation 1 first hand, the first Transformers toys and media, I'm not wedded to the concept as many fans, and TakaraTomy, seem to be. I'm more than happy to enjoy the new iterations of the brand, the new spin of things, without immediately comparing it to a toyline or cartoon only slightly younger than I am. This leads me to the seemingly very unpopular opinion I wish to discuss, I like Transformers Armada. I liked it at the time of release. I like it now. I like those Armada toys I still have better than the G1 toys I still have. While I am enjoying Titans Return, probably more than you are, I am more interested in those infrequent Armada homages and remakes, than revamping everybody from the 80's. The latest cartoon accurate Masterpiece release? Not my thing. Combiner Wars Armada Megatron? My thing. The only thing more my thing than that thing would be a continuation of Transformers: Animated. Today, I will ramble about why.

Context

Unpopular with fans at a time when Hasbro had money trouble, Beast Machines marked the end of the beast era proper. And, by extension, the original Transformers continuity. The planned sequel, Transtech, was dumped and while its replacement was worked on, a stop-gap measure was needed. This was quickly provided by Takara, whom had their own problems with the brand in the late 90's. For the new millennium, they produced “Car Robots”, a new continuity(1), featuring a mixture of new toys and toys previously unreleased in Japan. This did feature beast modes, but in a purely antagonistic manner, and the proportion of beastformers declined over time. Hasbro rebranded it as “Robots in Disguise”, and played up the references to the original continuity in the redubbed cartoon. It worked very well. Unfortunately, while Robots In Disguise proved to be a far greater success in the West than in Japan, one aspect that was less popular was complexity. Those few original designs featured where often shellformers of an infamous kind, or needlessly complex, and parents complained. It seems this filtered through to the design studios at some point, and ended up influencing what was being worked on. Like RID, the new series would be another new continuity, paying tribute to the Generation 1 concepts and reusing names, but was doing its own thing. It would also have a Japanese cartoon that would be redubbed. But more importantly, it would favour simple, colourful and blocky designs for kids to enjoy. Intricate transformations and balljoints basically disappeared, replaced by unique play features, again, for kids. This would be activated by tiny transformers called Mini-Cons, paired with each full size toy, or sold in teams like the old Micromasters. This is what was called Transformers: Armada.

It didn't go down well with people, but it also so sold so well they couldn't make toys fast enough.

 Demolishor & Blackout, a typical 1st wave Armada set. Not pictured: everything they do.

This design approach was of course the complete antithesis of what much of the older fandom wanted, and in those early days of the internet, boy did we hear about it. Beast Wars kids, having been raised on complexity and balljoints, were less than impressed with the simplifications being made, and the absence of beast modes. G1 purists, initially cocky that vehicles were back in fashion, were less than impressed at another new continuity that reused names but was otherwise indifferent to 80's homages. Later releases would help placate both groups, but a series that favoured new kids over old collectors? This always gonna annoy people, and actual children LOVED it. All the while this was going on, the internet was slowly breaking down barriers between east and west, while anime was the new hotness, so another aspect of the fandom was acting up. Not only was there derogatory comparisons to Pokemon, there would prove to recognisable differences in both toys and the cartoon, nothing significant, but enough for people to feel superior about imports and fansubs. Some of my first experiences of the fandom as an alleged adult was viewing endless moaning about bricks, bad dubbing and missing paint apps. I didn't necessarily agree with the tone of these discussions.

 A comic from 2005, its audience older collectors, published by Fun Publications.

Having missed the beast saga entirely, this aggro passed over my head. Those Armada toys I did get seemed light years ahead of the G1 toys I had in the attic, and while that's probably a sampling error, let's think about why that was. Your average 80's Transformer could only move its arms up and down; in Armada that was the entry level for Mini-Cons. G1 toys, especially the early ones, had lots of easily lost bits that were vital to the experience; in Armada that was limited to missiles and guns. G1 toys were sometimes held up to be more realistic and less kiddy; I was around for the Micromasters and Pretenders. Armada toys were regarded as “Play Skool”, I was amazed they sculpted detail now, rather than using stickers. It would be Transformers Animated before I truly started collecting again, six years later, but it was Armada that got me buying the occasional toy and paying attention to the fanbase. If I'm thankful for the series for anything, its that. 

 The Space Mini-Con Team, a notable set of Mini-Cons. Not pictured: their combined gun mode.

Being Fair

There were of course good reasons to dislike Armada though, and it would be intellectually dishonest of me to pretend otherwise. The supporting cartoon was pretty poor, and the western version only made it worse. Animation mistakes and “gotta catch em all” plot lines abound, although its generally accepted things picked up in later arcs(2). The comic fared better, and featured some G1 pandering, but it was a Dreamwave production, so your mileage may vary. As for the bits that matter, the actual toys, some were not well-received at the time or aged well. This was reinforced by Armada being in the habit of releasing recolours with a frequency not previously seen, and as the same character, rather than a seeker style new personality. And, even accounting for the marmite factor, its hard to disagree with much of the criticism for the toys. For an example, I refer you to noted youtubist TJOmega and his Plastic Addict series, where Armada toys did tend to turn up. Here's his harsh-but-fair analysis of the infamous Side Swipe toy. This probably ruins my argument.

Yeah, he's less likely to do caustic/comedic reviews these days. Check out the Random Reviews.

Anyway, having some bad toys and weak media is not the same as having a bad line though. Other Transformer lines have done similar and worse. Armada's play pattern was a good one, and while not everything worked, the colour and variety made up for weaknesses. The undoubted reason for this was the tiny Mini-Cons themselves. Not only did they make great pocket money toys, they basically turned larger toys into playsets. You can see shades of this in the modern Titans Return line, where having a small partner robot has made the vehicle mode more fun. Mini-cons could and would trigger just about anything, in either mode, so there was always something to do. These tiny dudes were also very visually varied, not always being humanoid, and they've aged very gracefully too. Compared to modern toys of a similar size, they hold their own, these toys introducing level of complexity and articulation, yes, the same traits the larger toys lack, which has yet to be truly bettered. Some were also headmasters, some were targetmasters, some combined, some had gears, some had missiles, one was AN ACTUAL BICYCLE, the list goes on. Mini-Cons proved to be so good, the concept not only persisted in Armada's two sequels, but in completely new moulds for Classics, Universe, Power Core Combiners, the Japanese version of Prime, and the Thrilling 30 bit of Generations. Basically, Mini-Cons rock, and haven't stopped rocking since 2002.

Also, Armada has a notably good video game adaptation. I just wanted to work that in somewhere.

The Big Things

Are the larger toys as good? That's less clear cut. If you are on board with playing with your Transformers as opposed to merely posing them, there's plenty to recommend. Armada toys always do as much as they can, as uniquely as they can, and they pre-date modern cost cutting trends. There's no end of missiles, spring-loaded mechanisms, geared mechanisms and electronic gimmickry, if that's your sort of thing. Treadheads got Megatron and Demolishor. The seekers were back, with this iteration of Starscream having enduring popularity. Cool cars abounded. There was a faction switching toy that was also a double headmaster. Optimus Prime got two different power-up partners. Megatron even got one, the generally awesome Tidal Wave, a massive toy based around three different combining ships. Play value can easily match a tranformer from any other line. Articulation is not a strong point, but many toys feel only a joint away from being fine. That having been said, three toys do stand up above all others as examples as both of the Armada ethos and answering the articulation complaints. 

 Tidal Wave & Ramjet, an impressive toy from wave 4. Not pictured: everything they do.

The Beast Wars repaints! You know, the recoloured transmetal moulds they put out as they couldn't make actual Armada toys fast enough? Because they actually sold really well?

Ha ha, just kidding. Good toys are they, but that isn't why I'm here. Coming at number 3 is Hoist, an excavator whom was retooled into two different Beast Wars characters. Coming at number 2 was the Supercon release of Optimus Prime, known as “Bendy Prime”, whom will probably be on display until I die. And at number 1, there's Unicron.

Yes, Unicron. The star of the 1986 film. Rendered in plastic, as what must be the single greatest act of fan-pandering ever made in the brands history.

Yes, even more than the Masterpiece line.

 Unicron, A.K.A mecha-satan. Not pictured everything he does.

While, as mentioned, I don't venerate G1 as much as other people, there was a huge hit of nostalgia for me with this one. Unicron was explicitly tied to the film which I loved as a kid, and was a huge part of a comics too. And not to put too fine a point on it, Unicron was incredible. And he still is. Gigantic, but articulated down to the fingers. Endless sculpted detail. Many gimmicks. A missile launcher of such complexity and noise that it scared my Grandad's dog, and no, it wasn't aimed anywhere near her. Even the haters had something nice to say about Armada after that. And this toy has been released four times, later versions replacing the head with something more G1, with a platinum edition on the way.

Conclusion

Armada doesn't get enough respect. Its never quite overcome the bad impression that the cartoon made, and fans always react badly to a Transformers series doing something different. The fact is though, the brand would be in a very different state without Armada selling so well. We'd probably find ourselves like He-Man or MASK or whatever, known, but no-longer relevant. Sometimes a hard reset is needed to keep things fresh. Armada got two direct sequels, and that success eventually allowed for the Classics line of 2006 and the modern films. And more importantly than that, the toys aren't as bad as some claim, its just they are designed differently.

If you are tired of G1 remakes, and want a change of pace, Armada is the toyline you should look at.

Foot notes

1. Uhhh, its complicated, just go with it for now 
2. A direct comparison to G1 cartoon is very tempting. Maybe another day.

Images not by me are copyright of Hasbro etc.

The Clickbait Top Ten: The Best Transformers Things of 2015

Well, its that time of year again. Or it would be, if I ever bothered with awards type things before. But you know, I never brought enough Transformers in a single year to justify one before. Bloody Combiner Wars, making me spend money. A few ground rules. This list largely derives from things I've brought this year. Combiners are treated as a single release, but their individual parts can be recognised too. Here we go, but first, the honourable mentions.

Honourable Mention: Ultra Magnus And Minimus Ambus

One of the few collector slanted releases without a combination focus, this represents the first truly good toy in the modern leader class. A great rendering of the character with lots of play value, whom is suitably big, and has an Animated inspired hammer gimmick. This writer is particularly pleased that Hasbro bit the bullet, and created a Minimus Ambus toy, despite the predictable and extensive complaints from G1 purists, and disappointed that Takara chickened out and made it Alpha Trion. The pair don't make the top ten proper due to the hollow construction, and the well-intentioned, but regrettably loose, opening hands. 

Honourable Mention: Devastator

When it comes to being a colossal big green and purple robot, Devastator was no equal. Seriously, if you want a big bloody thing to step on people, he's your guy. His presence is commanding, and there's a strong 80's feel to events. Unfortunately, that 80's feel is also a weakness, individual Constructicons having patchy articulation and proportions, which means they don't make it into the top ten, fun as the set undeniably is. Takara's version may made have the cut though, with its improvements.

Number Ten: Silverbolt

Combiner Wars toys have often have simple yet elegant engineering, doing exactly what they must do in each form, but Silverbolt demands recognition. While having a solid robot form, and a characteristically flawed Concorde mode, his transformation into Superion's torso via a handstand was pure genius. This is easily the most innovative engineering this year, and possibly for the last three. That's not his only strength though, as the robot form nails the character, looking nicely heroic. This is definitely one of those toys you don't mind seeing remoulded, although maybe Scattorshot was a step too far.

Number Nine: Air Raid

The Aerialbots are the archetypal Wave 1 releases, big names highlighting what the toy line is about, but not the best of that line overall, as the bugs are being worked out. While still the best toys these characters have ever got, the Aerialbots are associated with unconvincing altmodes, articulation weaknesses, and Powerglide being a nuisance in gun mode. Coming out in Wave 2 however, Air Raid shows a sudden up-tick in refinement, so much so that had the rest of the team been of a similar standard, they'd be making a bigger showing today. His joints are tighter, 5mm ports are plentiful, and the overall appearance is great. The jet is about as convincing as it can be given the largely white robot mode, and you can have five different guns on it at once. Its a crying shame, given the rampant recycling that characterises Combiner Wars, we are only seeing this mould again in exclusive boxsets. And its an even bigger shame that UK fans had to import this guy to complete Superion.

Number Eight: Blackjack

While both literally and figuratively overshadowed by other toys on this list, Blackjack makes the cut for being exactly what he needs to be for his price point. He's a nice little car. His transformation is new and interesting, but familiar. His robot mode is effectively articulated, and he has a hand weapon, unlike so many of his kin. With so many of the Legend pricepoint being inferior remoulds from 2013/14, or of questionable use in the combination thing, Blackjack's only real competition is the juuuuusssssst-released Shockwave, which I don't have. Blackjack only fails due to a fault in Motormaster's design, preventing a secure connection in chestplate form, but let's not hold this against him. They took a single piece plastic accessory, and made it into a showstopper.

Number Seven: Transformers: Devastation

As an 80's original fan whom actually likes new things, I often feel that G1 fans get pandered to far too much. Rose tinted glasses aside, the 80's cartoon was a poorly made toy advert, and we've had much better fiction since. But, applying that style to a video game? One made by Platinum Games, masters of the spectacle fighter? Even I was interested. Overcoming obvious time and money restrictions, captures all that was great about the cartoon, and applies to a frenetic combat system with loads of 80's hair metal. A heady cocktail of nostalgia and bone-crunching gameplay, TF: D's only sin is that there is not more. Sequel please. DLC please. Game inspired redecos please.

Number Six: More Than Meets The Eye #47

Now for some Mood Whiplash. Some things aren't worthwhile because they are fun. Some things aren't nice. Some things are worthwhile because they are are challenging reads that go to dark places. Some things....some things, make you cry. This is one of those things. As compelling as it is tragic, this issue breaks new ground for transformers media.

Joint Number Five: Dead End And Protectobot Streetwise

I knew both of these toys would have to appear in this list somewhere, but separating them proved impossible. On the one hand, wehave the best deluxe of wave two, with possibly the most gorgeous car mode this year, and works well in all four modes. On the other, Streetwise completely changes the toy visually, and address the two common complaints of Dead End, by avoiding the “grey biceps” flaw and replacing the club with a triple barrelled shotgun. He's not as nice to look at Dead End, but he's not ugly at all. The aggressive recycling of moulds mean its probably you'll have either version or both in some form, and while familiarity breeds contempt, these are still great toys.

Number Three: Protectobot Rook

The best deluxe toy in all of Combiner Wars, bar none, and probably its singular break-out character. Strong enough to be a worthwhile purchase even if you never touch the rest of the line, Rook's main selling point is play value, backed by competence in all other things. He's big, he's visually interesting, and very functional in all four modes. But that all pales in comparison to his party piece, the ability to use combiner accessories as hulk hands. If you like your toys to be fun, Rook is your man. G1 purists? Come on. Get over it.

Number Two: More Than Meets The Eye Omnibus Volume 7 “Elegant Chaos”

I could fill this list with individual issues of MTMTE, and I'd have no trouble defending it. Its just that consistently good a series. Comics Alliance just gave it two awards, for flip's sake. This omnibus however is notably highpoint for the invested fan. The conclusion to plot threads that James Roberts started as far back as 2011, this sees an epic time travel plot that goes back to pre-war Cybertron, and the very conception of the Decepticon cause. With horrific parallel universes, betrayals, political commentary, temporal paradoxes, intense character scenes, and sheer WTFery like Megatron's fear of needles, this volume is an exercise in excellence. If you are new to the series, maybe pick an earlier volume, but if you like what you see here, you won't regret working through the back catalogue.

Number One: Defensor And The Protectobots

I had almost no interest in the Protectobots prior to Combiner Wars, excluding First Aid's place in the MTMTE cast, but this team have found a place in my heart on merit. Simply put, wave 3 and the Protectobots was the best bit of Combiner Wars, and its looking doubtful that its last few releases are going to change that. While heavily based on retools, like much of the line, the retools were great, and the new moulds were real nice too. You just read why two of them were good, as for the rest? Well, Hot Spot arguably has the best individual robot mode of the line, and a classy torso mode, only just missing out from a Honourable Mention today. Blades is a nice variation on Wave 1's best Autobot. First Aid, despite my initial impressions, is a solid reworking of Wave 2's Off Road, and is holding together a fair bit better than that toy. Groove meanwhile attempts to bring some scale sanity to the team, works well enough by himself, and pulls off a chestplate mode. And most importantly for us Brits, this got a UK release, with all six members found in shops. Go get them.

Bad photography by me, other images Copyright Hasbro, and variously IDW, Activision, and Platinum Games.

A Concise Review of Robotmasters Rijie, A.K.A Mirage, In 500 Words Or Less

Pricepoint/Vintage: Basic, 2004

Modes: Robot and Penske PC-18 Indycar.

Transformation Style: Spring-loaded flipchanger.

Play Patterns: Robot and car, 3mm weaponry.

Points of interest: Logical repaint of Machine Wars Mirage, and Japanese trademark casualty. Has an additional weapon, believed to be from a short-lived Microman line.

The Good
Rijie is based on the most successful of the Machine Wars flipchangers, and thus is competent in most things. The vehicle mode is much convincing, with the automorph integrated into the rear wing, which has aged better than other examples in my collection. His robot mode is pretty good too, with 7 joints, light piped eyes, and has gained a new gun for this release. Its also true that the G1 colour scheme, especially the blue, really fits the mould. He's classy in both modes.

The Bad
Rijie's got some kibble issues in robot mode, with half the car existing as one big, unrefined, chunk. It actually affects the mobility of all four limbs, which is a shame, as he's got five balljoints. The hip joints had regrettably become very loose over time, which prompted corrective action from me. He also has a gun that splits in half for storage, but like other examples, only one half secures properly, and so the other can get lost.

The Mediocre
I am loathe to consider an extra gun a negative, but I have concerns, as its translucent green plastic with chrome on top. That could go badly wrong. It obviously doesn't store either.

The Alternatives
This mould was used 5 times, and the character of Mirage has been extensively supported over the years, either in homage or in actuality. There's the well-regarded Classics deluxe, which is probably the first choice, although the Combiner Wars version has its appeal. Race cars of this type are also fairly common. Direct competition in the same size bracket is a bit thin on the ground though.

The Verdict
A superior example of a repaint, this toy has all the merits of the original but adds value. I'm sure the colours would have been enough for some, but you have to love another gun. His only real downsides are inherited, mainly in the posability, but are forgiveable for a toy of his size and style. If you want a Mirage, or just a small F1 Car, Rijie is definitely an option worth looking into.

Eight Fragmented Opinions

Righty folks. All being well, when this post goes up, I should be enjoying day three of Auto Assembly. Or, more likely, still asleep having stayed up till 3AM in the hotel bar. But in the run up to the convention, I tried to write some opinion pieces, to provide additional blog content. I found at first it was difficult often running about of bile and enthusiasm before finishing. But then I was reminded by a friend that opinion pieces are not necessarily solid bile, so I had a rethink. A new approach was called for, and I've spent a couple of weeks trying to stockpile articles, so maybe I'm over-doing it Just to ease myself into non-review writing, he's a few fragmented opinions which may yet form the basis of a future article if I can be bothered.

(Image sourced from here, original creator unknown.)

Warhammer: Age of Sigmar

This has been an endless storm of nerd rage pretty much from day zero, and its hard to argue with some of the haters. Games Workshop hasn't produced a points system for the game, or any equivalent system, which is necessary if you want to have a game with any appearance of fair and balanced mechanics. You can argue for days the extent to which GW games have ever been fair and balanced, short answer: not really, but they've abdicated their responsibilities here. I personally don't consider narrative and scenario play to be substitutes, I like structure. This is a crying shame, as having free rules and war scrolls were a big step in the right direction.

The Fantastic 4 Film

No, I haven't seen it. Not gonna see it. Neither will anyone else now. What exactly went wrong will be argued for a few years to come, and clearly studio politics hurt the project, but I'd point the finger at applying a grimdark, “realistic”, approach to a property where the lead character is a rubberman called Mr Fantastic. We just had Guardians of the Galaxy last year, a film with a heavily armed raccoon, and a tree with a three word vocabulary. There is no requirement for Superhero films to be serious any more, and nothing so daft it won't work on screen.

Terminator Genesys

No, I haven't seen it either. Not gonna see it. But apparently, it isn't as terrible as the above. I've not liked the look of it since that trailer spoiled the main plot twist, and apparently it doesn't get any better from there.

Dr Who

I'm not looking forward to the new season. While it wasn't Peter Capaldi's fault, the last series was painfully inconsistent, and don't get me started on the Moon episode. Things can always pick up, but some new writers would be a plus. And I don't like Clara any more.

Combiner Wars Remoulds

Okay, Combiner Wars has yet to produce a combiner component whom is actually bad. I'd go so far as to say half of them are worth buying twice. I just wish we didn't have to. And we had a few more Decepticons.

Takara's Unite Warriors Line

Full marks chaps for giving us a deluxe Groove, an improved Devastator, and hopefully Blast Off. Loose 20 points for ignoring play features to get more G1 combiner teams though. Powerglide, Blackjack and tiny Groove were designed to interact with respective teams, and you are selling them short by shuffling them into Transformers Adventure line. I'm not hugely impressed with you ignoring Alpha Bravo and Off Road either, as it means you have doubled up on moulds for the Superion and Menasor boxsets. Which kind of leads me on to the next point.

The Generation 1 Cartoon As Gospel

Guys, I know you love the cartoon. I love the cartoon. But it was thirty years ago, and it wasn't that well-made in the day. So can we all stop giving Hasbro and IDW grief for doing stuff that deviates from that template?

Fun Publications

Nice to see you getting some use out of the Armada Starscream mould. Now, be a dear and take those Arms Microns you have out the back, and do us an Armada boxset. Just for a change? Also, maybe stay away from IDW concepts? Not to disrespect your fiction, but you aren't in the same weight class, and people (wrongly) assume you are somehow preventing a mass market release.

Next week: more reviews.