Merry Crimbo!

Have a good one.

A Non-Spoiler, Non-Review Of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I write this review in the knowledge that you've probably seen the film already, and there's only so much I can add to the thousands of reviews and clickbait articles on this subject. This is kind of rush job too, as work and family commitments make the full attention the film deserves impossible. I am also nice enough not to discuss spoilers, for that hypothetical and unfortunate reader whom hasn't seen the film, and may find the experience tarnished by my comments. So here's a selection of brief statements about the movie.

Yes, its better than the prequels, that low hurdle is easily overcome.

Its beautiful, and John Boyega's character is the best part of the film.

Thanks to a combination of callbacks and purposeful imitation, TFA feels a lot like the original three films.

Said similarities don't always benefit the narrative, and the original cast essentially hijack the film for a replay of the Battle of Yavin.

Its next to impossible to comment on Kylo Ren without ruining a big part of the film, although I consider him to be THE weak link in the entire business.

Star Wars has developed self-aware humour all of a sudden.

I hit sensory overload  a few times, like when watching Age of Ultron or a Transformers film.

And finally:

Its closer to Jurassic World, than Mad Max: Fury Road.

That's all for now.


Image sourced from StarWars.com, Copyright Disney etc.

A Concise Review of Reveal The Shield Lugnut In 500 Words Or Less

Pricepoint/Vintage: Voyager Class, 2011.

Transformation Style: Unique bomber with dramatic head reveal.

Play Patterns: Robot and Bomber. C-joint accessories, spring loaded weapons, firing missile.
Points of Interest: G1/realistic reinterpretation of the Animated character of the same name.

The Good
Lugnut is impressive to look at, and impressive by the numbers. The robot mode captures the character perfectly, and has a startling 35 points of articulation to offset his bulk. Including fingers, waist, toes and mouth. This means pugilism poses are easy, and the famously memetic Punch Of Kill Everything is presented by spring-loaded extending fists. He's also got two pivoting guns on his chest, a missile launcher in the tail, in another startling number, rungs for 21 clip accessories. The Bomber inherits a majority of these strengths, with the spring loaded bits becoming decorative missile launchers. Its an interesting mix of WW2 and jet design elements, with massive engines, a tail gunner, shark teeth and a nice glass nose. It looks great, and the transformation to achieve it is unique.

The Bad
While novel, the transformation results in kibble issues for both modes. The robot form has a free floating cockpit piece behind the head and a hunch back, meaning the light piped eyes are a non-starter. Bomber mode easily betrays the hands and there are places where robot mode plastic colours spoil the flying fortress effect. This is a shame, because the undercarriage is very nearly there, largely concealing the robot bits. The decorative missile launchers in bomber mode meanwhile are unpainted, so I didn't know they existed until writing this review.

The Mediocre
Lugnut's missile launcher is an almost superfluous addition to the design, having questionable use in both modes, and the trigger seems loose in my example. The jaw only works if the head is facing directly forwards. There's also the use of a rubbery plastic in places, a long term concern, but seems okay at the 4 year mark.

The Alternatives
Given that this mould was never re-used, the obvious substitutes are from the Animated line, or the Japanese version. The latter has a more purple colour scheme, a minor retool affecting the cockpit piece mentioned above, but has problems with its springs. If all you want is a big Decepticon that drops bombs, look into the venerated G2 Dreadwing mould. If you merely are looking for a comparable voyager, consider Sea Spray of 2010.

The Verdict
Lugnut makes the transition to mainstream Transformers extremely well, and short of a Masterpiece treatment, is ideal. Yeah, its not a 1-to-1 adaptation with the colours and altmode, but this is one of those toys which will not be bettered for years. That missile launcher is unneeded, and he's unrefined in places, but this is on everybody's “Best of 2011” list for a reason. Almost Generations Springer level good. Pick him up if you can, but he rightfully commands a big price on eBay.

Simon Pegg Comments On Star Trek: Beyond Trailer

Hey, remember that trailer I made fun of a few days back? Well, here's what Simon Pegg thought of it. Mr Pegg was one of the writers on the film, and is a noted figure in nerd circles.

Wow, you hardly need to read between the lines there. I hope your work has just been badly advertised, Mr Pegg, because its off to bad start.

New Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer Released

Even though its only a matter of days until the film comes out, the new Star Wars is still being hyped up with a new trailer, and this one introduces a buttload of new footage.

Hang on. Wait. No. That's Star Trek. Sorry people, false alarm.

This obvious joke has been brought to you by "Cynicism", "Pessimism" and "bad memories of Into Darkness". Seriously, its too early to tell if this is gonna be worth your time, but if you were hoping for something closer to the source TV series, that isn't what they are leading with here. Is it fair to judge the film based on this trailer, plus the last two movies? Not really, but tempered expectations won't hurt.

A Concise Review of Generations Cliffjumper & Suppressor In 500 Words Or Less

Pricepoint/Vintage: Legends Class, 2014.

Transformation Style: Shellformer, with simplistic triplechanger.
Play Patterns: Robot and car, with robot, car and gun. 5mm weapons, 3mm weapons, targetmaster with minor combination.
Points of Interest: An obvious repaint of Bumblebee, but with Optimus Prime's little buddy and gun instead.

The Good
Cliffjumper works well in both modes, while Suppressor brings the dakka as one of the better partners/accessories. As a pair, play value is high, Cliffjumper effectively having two big guns, which can combine into a bigger gun in two ways, and 12 points of articulation. Both have 5mm ports on the roof for car mode, allowing for road warrior action together or separately, and weapon storage in robot form. As he's based off Bumblebee, Cliffjumper looks pretty good in car mode too, and the slightly over-proportioned arms also work well for a bruiser like Cliff. Suppressor meanwhile has 3mm hands, and can just about carry the ion blaster by himself.

The Bad
Quality control on my example was iffy, Suppressor notably having excess plastic, and thick yellow paint gumming up his workings. Said paint was probably the wrong colour to choose, making him the ugly one, although that's not to say Cliffjumper is flawless. His finicky transformation brings Visible Head Syndrome in car mode, indentations on the doors, and big vehicle panels as a robot. Cliffjumper also has some articulation problems as the neck is fixed, and the knees are limited.

The Mediocre
In replacing the Blazemaster helicopter mould, certain play features are forgotten, like the arm ports. As he's based on the Roller mould, Suppressor is amongst the better of Micromaster style partners, but that still means he's basic by Mini-Con or Legion standards. Transforming to truck mode is a matter of laying him down, and he only has two points of articulation.

 

The Alternatives
Given his status as Bumblebee's repaint guy, finding similar toys to Cliffjumper is very very easy. Within the same vintage however, I'd recommend Swerve or especially Cosmos.

The Verdict
Cliffjumper and Suppressor complement each other very well. It makes sense that Cliffjumper should have all the guns, and short of a major retool, this was a good way to do things. Two solid moulds in the same packet, what's not to like? Well, there's that yellow paint, and Cliffjumper inherits Bumblebee's weaknesses. Not big weaknesses for the size and price, but still weaknesses. I regret that I can't make direct comparisons between the two, but I'll stick my neck out and say you don't need to buy both, but you aren't gonna feel bad if you did. And if you skipped on Bumblebee like I did? Well, I got them for a fiver, but I wouldn't have minded paying more.

Blog Watch: Month 4, and crimbo plan

Alright then folks, here we are, another month in? Where do we stand? Well, viewing figures are levelling off now, a little lower than last month, but within the margin of error. Maybe this is the new norm, although my old blogging platform shuts down on the 15th, so maybe traffic will move here. In case you are wondering, yes, old blog gets a lot more traffic, but then it was live since 2011. Much more :)

Source: The Meta Picture

In related news, I must regretfully announce a slow service during December. I work in a supermarket, and so this is my busy time, even before we get into family matters. What intend to do is run weekly updates from now until January 4th, skipping Christmas week.  These will happen on the Sunday, although if we get anything especially interesting like a new film trailer, I'll post those on the day as extras.


On the 1st of January however, I something special planned. And by "special", I mean something really obvious. My top ten transformers type things of the year.

See ya soon.

Caturday Night Lights: Some cats just don't like cars

Source: FunnyChannel.

New Batman V Superman Trailer Released: Doomsday? Seriously, DOOMSDAY!?

Well, the trailer was out, and its confirmed a rumour so dumb I'd discounted it. Here is the trailer.

There's a lot to breakdown here, so much so I think an article is in order, but I'll limit my comments today to the reveal. In a stereotypical example of a trailer spoiling a film's big twist, Lex Luthor will create Doomsday, seemingly from General Zod's remains. Doomsday is of course best known, and perhaps only known, for "killing" Superman in the early 90's. He's been in plenty of comics since, but if you are getting a "Bane breaking Batman" vibe to events, you aren't wrong. This means the main influences on Batman V Superman  now include a plotline where Superman is beaten to death by a monster in biker shorts.


I restate my pessimism about this project.

A Concise Review of Transformers (2007) Clocker In 500 Words Or Less

Pricepoint/Vintage: Scout, 2007.

Modes: Robot and Car.

Transformation Style: Lay back, limbs become legs.

Play Patterns: Robot and car, key gimmick, 5mm weapons.
Points of Interest: Repaint of the identically named Cybertron toy.

 

The Good
Play value is a strength of this toy, the car exhausts being 5mm weapons which compliment his cyber key gimmick. He can technically handle six 5mm weapons at once due to clever use of fist holes, and has ten points of articulation, including a waist swivel. The car mode meanwhile is open-topped, with a tinted windscreen and seats, four 5mm ports, and looks nice. His cyber key gimmick functions as a rocket booster with flip-out guns for car mode, and as a hand weapon.

 

The Bad
Clocker's cyber key gimmick takes up a lot of space, and looks odd in robot mode, which by itself is a bit awkward. The flip-out gun barrels seem to have a moulding issue. There's also a case of Viable Head Syndrome in car mode, cavities in robot mode, and sloppy paintwork in general.

The Mediocre
Clocker is an inherently sci-fi design re-purposed for the "realistic" film series, and the colours don't really play to the strengths of the mould. The wheels and windscreen are cast in translucent plastic, but this has been has been made so dark, you can't immediately tell. Unfortunately, this has resulted in his light-piped eyes feature being rendered useless, and so painted over. The articulation is also a bit unrefined, despite being in useful places.

The Alternatives
This mould was used 5 times, notably for Botcon 2006 with Beast Wars characters, and oddly Swerve, instead of Rodimus. Small cars certainly aren't hard to find either.

The Verdict
When you get right down to it, Clocker is an uninspired repaint of an unremarkable toy. Putting aside some production flaws, there's nothing actually BAD about him, but he's so forgettable it took me months to finish this review. The alt mode is decent, open-topped cars not being that common, but the robot mode needed a little more arm articulation, while the cyber key gimmick makes for a bulky and unconvincing weapon. He's not terrible, play value being there, but he lacks anything to make him stand-out. You can do worse for a fiver, but I'd point towards a more colourful version instead.

Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice Gets A Trailer For A Trailer

Well, it seems on Wednesday we are a new Batman V Superman trailer, and WB has put out a teaser for it. This is annoying trend, but here is the clip.

Its speculated this all adds up to a dream sequence, which may mitigate my concerns about neck snapping.  This is still very much what I don't like about the project though. Nobody should kneel to Superman, and his response should be "stop it guys". And you don't put dream sequences in a trailer because they are ultimately meaningless and misleading. Still, to each their own, I suppose.

First Impressions Of Forbidden Stars

Well, I got this game, and I've played. Not as much as I would like, but I have.So, here are my opinions after only three games and a lot of rules mistakes(1). Buckle up.

Overview

Forbidden Stars is perhaps best compared to Fantasy Flight's highly strategic Game of Thrones boardgame, only with drastically expanded combat mechanics. Or alternatively, a simplified Eclipse where player actions are declared in secret. Victory comes by claiming the most objective tokens by turn 8, or as befits 40k, genocide. Players get a pool of order tokens which are placed on a star system faced down, resolved on a last on, first off basis. While players only get to place 4 of these tokens, each player gets a choice of which system to remove a token of theirs from. This means you can not only bluff, but stall enemy actions too. Increasing the general feeling of mistrust are the Warp Storms, which act as usually impenetrable barriers, which players move during the clean up step. Lines of battle therefore shift constantly. Moving between planets meanwhile does not necessarily demand ships, but frequent patches of open space do, and the game makes movement in allied territory impossible. Diplomacy is strictly a matter of "you go that way, I'll go that way", informal and outside rules mechanics, so the four player games I have played reminded me of Game Of Thrones in a bad way. The introductory map intermingles each players forces and objective tokens, meaning that neutral territory doesn't exist and players end up with units isolated from the rest of their forces. This caused some annoyance for myself and others and I wonder if a slightly more segmented map would solve it.

However, I've come to conclusion this is not so much bad game design as an attempt to make players more ruthless, something that doesn't come to me easily, as there are legitimate tactical reasons to have harnessing units near enemy territory. Turtling seems a really bad idea in the game overall, as people can just plonk an order token on a system, preventing you from acting until they want you to. Plus there's an 8 turn limit, and its rather easy to develop a clever plan that gets invalidated by enemy action. In the singular two player game I've played, were we ditched the introductory map, in favour of the alternating tile placement method. This resulted in a less stressful game, although how much of that could be a result of smaller playing field and fewer players is unclear. Trying the same thing with four players could just easily create a similar mess as the introductory map. While I definitely want to play this game more, I want to see how it plays with fewer players the most.

In either case, this game takes a fricking long time to play, at least one hour per player, plus another hour to explain and set up.

The Fighting
Actual combat is fairly brutal and surprisingly involved, as fits the setting. Players roll a number of dice based on the units in the combat, and then take three rounds applying a card to these results, attacker, then defender. Combat can end either by slaughter, or via Morale, which is slightly more involved. Units are only destroyed if a unit takes max damage in a single round, if they take less, they are Routed, and stop contributing to the battle, but the damage doesn't carry over. Damage is caused by the bolter symbol on dice and card, blocked one for on by shields. Morale victories happen when based on the number of unrouted, whom contribute their Morale rating, plus the value of cards and dice. Cards also have triggered abilities based on the units doing the actual fighting, which is probably the most important thing about the,

There a big element of deckbuilding to all this, each player have a combat deck which they can customise and forms the bulk of their offensive power. Improving your deck, and building the better units that trigger the card abilities, seems more important than sheer numbers and the actual dice roll. Due to the capacity of sectors merely spamming units at people doesn't work, as if a planet is full, the extra units die. The disposable and easily used Reinforcement Tokens fulfil this roll, and while they only really exist to catch bullets, they do make entry level infantry a bit obsolete. The interplay of cards between opposing players meanwhile make a vast different to combat results, as their effects are more consistent and predictable than the dice. A combat deck consists of 5 pairs of cards, which you shuffle and draw 5 from for each combat. Once you have replaced at least two of these pairs, you will have a critical advantage as you are all but guaranteed to draw one of those cards, and failing to properly maintain my deck lost me many battles(2). In using the Strategise Order to purchase these, you also get the benefit of the Event Deck, which often grants a combat related bonus, and also ties into Warp Storms.

The Different Armies

While there is some similarities between these forces to start with, the differences become much more pronounced as they upgrade their combat deck and purchase new orders. Playing pieces are rated in three ways with standardised costs, so its easy to make generalisations, but that's a mistake. Here's an overview what of they seem to do.

Ultra Marines: The generic best at everything guys, marines start out as slightly defensive, but don't stay that way. Their dominate order allows they to side step usual unit restrictions, and replace weaker Scouts with regular Marines, and those with Land Raiders. Marines also have a close relationship with Bastions, A.K.A fortresses, and be quite mobile, depending on the options chosen.

World Eaters: Much more aggressive than loyalists, the chaos units tend to be more about murder, while their Combat Deck tends to have unusual mechanics. These fellows are largely unconcerned with warp storms, as they can place cultists easily on unoccupied worlds via their Dominate order, and have a card that allows safe passage through them. The four marks of chaos are in evidence, although Morale is something this army can have issue with in comparison to the loyalists.

Craftworld Iyanden: The glass hammer force, the pointy ears have less physical models than the other forces, but tend to be extremely hard hitting and mobile. This is evidenced by their very high number of ships relative to the other armies, six basic ships to three, meaning they easily take control of void areas, whereas for other armies its more of a considered decision. Also, their Dominate order is arguably the best in the game, as it allows you to move a single ground unit from the chosen system to any friendly world.

Evil Suns: Big, green, and with the subtlety of half a brick in a sock, the Ork army is all about the brute force. Ork units vary in their strengths, and aren't usually brilliant with Morale, but can usually dish out and receive a lot of damage. The whole “more boyz than bullets” thing meanwhile is represented by Ork having various cards that tie into Reinforcement Tokens, with one free at start up, with their Dominate order allowing a ground unit to be built without a factory. Orkz however don't get a ship at start up, and are the weakest force in space.

Initial Conclusions?

Worth a go, certainly. And its more fun than I had with the Warhammer 40K Minitatures game in a while.

Images Copyright Fantasy Flight, Sourced from their website.

Foot Notes

1. There's two rulebooks, one a “learn to play” and a “reference”. This didn't always help.
2. That and having an embarrassing interaction between mine and my opponents cards.